


Solos

by cloudsrain



Series: In Vino Veritas [1]
Category: Vampire Knight (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood and Violence, Childhood Trauma, F/M, Family Bonding, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Hunter culture, Nightmares, Original Character(s), Politics, Psychological Horror, Psychological Trauma, So wildly AU it's in a different dimension, Vampire Hunter Association - Freeform, Worldbuilding, cracks knuckles lets fix my childhood anime to safe my sanity, monsters being monsters, no beta we die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:21:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 42,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27868302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudsrain/pseuds/cloudsrain
Summary: She has no other possibility but trying to escape the storm to try and stay alive.Then she smelled it before seeing it with her very eyes.The man behind her smelled like deep iron melted with something else, something thick and creamy and combined it is just - Red.(Deep red, red, red, don’t you see? Don’t yousssssseeee?Like the head of the woman who embraces you, like the smell, the taste of -)Blood.She turns around.
Relationships: Cross Yuuki & Kiryuu Zero, Cross Yuuki & Kuran Kaname
Series: In Vino Veritas [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2138397
Comments: 14
Kudos: 25





	1. Can you taste it, on your lips?

The storm whipped her hair around, playing with the locks.

This winter night she caught herself in, can very much cost her life, that she could somehow grasp - but she couldn’t understand why she was here.

Why, why, why is she alone on this gruesome night?

Why is it so difficult for her to walk, to breathe the surrounding air? -

(When somewhere deep, deep inside of her she knew that the cold shouldn’t face her, even with the small body she possesses)

Slowly, oh, so slowly she stepped one foot and then the other, straightforward, away from the forest behind her.

Even when her entire body was shaking from the cold and the demons and fear.

Something was in the forest that could eat her alive and it is red, red, red like hot heated blood and it is blue as the deep ocean that could drown her, deeper and deeper until she only sees darkness.

She knew that.

Huh.

Why did she... know that?

She kept walking, or at the very least tried to.

She has no other possibility but to escape the storm, to stay alive.

Then she smelled it before seeing it with her very eyes.

The man behind her smelled like deep iron melted with something else, something thick and creamy and it is just – Red.

(Deep red, red, red, don’t you see? _Don’t you sssssseeee ?_

_By the end of the string that holds you, grabs you, is the_ of the woman who embraces you, like the smell, the taste of -)

Blood.

She turns around.

The man has ash-blond hair, almost brown in the moon's light.

His clothes were dirty, smeared meat and muddy, wet from the melted snow and blood, the green of his coat almost unrecognisable.

Many splats of red dripping down the clothing, sliding down like a piece of mushy, red pieces of food that turned bad.

So much blood, it glued to his form.

Her eyes followed the pieces of meat that glided down to the snowed, white ground, making it change to a lighter red until it too darkens into a deeper shade of the colour.

Is she going to die? Her eyes meet the ones of the other man, seeing how they glow in a darker shade of r e d, not even noticing her presence yet, considering how he is so preoccupied with licking the blood off his fingers.

That was something new to her, even without her memories intact, she knows, she immediately knows -

This is a vampire who has lost his mind in the blood.

She knows it is a Vampire in front of her, she knows, knows, knows he is not human but a beast in human form.

Why does she know it, however?

Why can’t she remember?

(The red, it embraces you, covering you from the _sin_ -)

Finally, after a while, his fingers being cleaner than before, he stopped in his tracks to stare at her slight form.

And he smiled, a feral grin that reminded her of a monster.

A monster eats you all up.

It was too long, too long stretched, and the teeth - the fangs were too monstrous.

He was a wolf, and she was the red riding hood, soon to be eaten by the big dangerous beast.

She is scared then, then

The dangerous vampire…

She went back a few steps.

The black shoes of his followed her every movement, matching her pace.

As if he was playing with his food

…. The bad Vampire was going to eat her.

,, Say, little Miss. Are you lost? Should I help you? Don’t you want to see your parents?’’, she stopped, turning to him.

What?

Parents, Yes, Parents - She has parents too.

Everyone has.

(Where are they? Where, where, _where_ -)

His grin glimmered vile, then he cackled as if he had made the best joke in a long while.

The muscles in her legs tighten, ready to run, run, run from the big, terrible monster in front of her. His eyes never left her as she looks around for an escape route, for anything, _anyone_ -

And as he watched her, his face lit up, making the man laugh with glee, almost snorting, his own feet stomping on the now dirtied snow while he held his stomach.

Then, only then, does he go back at her again, this time slower, with lazy grace.

,, Come, Little Lady. I will bring you to them with the utmost pleasure!’’, as he opened his mouth wider and his fangs appeared, she knew that her death will get crushed if it would come from this man.

Still frozen in place, the man made her stumble and fall onto the ground, her winter clothes instantly covered in snow.

The cutting cold of the snow stirred her from her shock.

Her skin sweat, feeling cold on her skin.

The crispy brown, almost auburn coloured eyes of hers widened and her face grimaced into a mask of horror and fear.

She will die, she will die, she will die!

,, No… No…..’’, he laughed still.

It somehow seemed to echo around her.

Haunting her senses.

,, No!’’,

The laughter became louder, as her breathing came quicker and quicker.

And his laugh sounded different too.

It became darker, more like dirt and the pits of hell.

Like the dreams, she couldn’t remember.

(Remember, remember, remember….)

She will die without knowing who she even is.

She doesn’t even know her name!

The vampire grabbed her by the collar, holding her up with his inhuman strength.

,, To think that all of this… happened because of ..-’’

His hands left her. She fell to the ground again, looking up to see a younger man holding the crazed vampire up with one arm up.

(The irony .)

His left hand connects with the man’s chest, opening him, showing his insides.

Without even blinking nor care.

She didn’t hear what he said to the man, though he saw the boy’s lips moving.

Huh.

A vampire looked exactly like a human from the inside.

She could even see a glimpse of his lungs that looked more and more like ash, ultimately turning to dust.

The man opened his mouth wide up to release a violent, horrific scream.

It came from the back of his throat, wet and dry all at once.

All of this only took a few seconds until the wicked man was all but pretty dust, simply leaving his dirty clothes behind.

And then she looked at the other one.

He was holding the man’s…. Heart?

It must be a heart.

This, too, slowly turned into a pile of dust, mixing itself with the wind.

The laugh and the scream echoed in her mind, getting louder and louder.

The other one, the younger boy - he was dangerous.

Not evil like the dead one - No, but she knew that if she displeases him, he could end her life faster than he ended the evil vampire.

Abruptly he kneeled before her, blood still on his hand as he offered it to her.

He smiled, so sad, so lonely, it broke her apart.

Maybe the young vampire took her tiny heart out as well, squeezing it softly while looking at her, full of sadness and guilt.

(Take my heart as well, take it, take it, let my heart warm your lonely soul - )

She blinked, her breathing calming down.

Everything calms before them, the body of hers, the horrible weather, the smell of (red), Blood.

Everything starts with him, alone.

He, the one who came for her, who killed for her.

The one who saved her, who,….. Who-?

,, You… must be cold’’, his voice sounded soft, like hot chocolate dissolving on her lips and warming her entire body with sweetness and comfort.

Comfort.

He was…. He was… comfort.

Sweetness.

(Loneliness.)

,, Let’s go…’’, without hesitation she took his offered bloodied hand, smearing some thick liquid on her gloves.

Blood.

Blood.

(Blood connected them…. connected them.. _connected_. )

,, Yuuki’’

For a young boy so adept at killing, his eyes were exceptionally soft.

☾ 

For a long while, she thought he named her.

Her life, it started with _him._

On some days she frowned at the thought, because it was ridiculous, since, well, she has parents - or had.

After two years, the words of the dangerous vampire didn’t leave her mind, always repeating itself inside her mind.

In the morning.

Before sleep.

She was only a few years older when she realised what he meant by his horrendous words.

(I will bring you to them, he said while trying to kill her, so she would be dead like the two people whom she may have called parents who are dead, dead, dead, killed - )

She cried into her pillow that night, knowing full well that Kaien Kurosu could hear her.

He didn’t rush into her room.

Maybe he felt how private this moment was.

She cried until her eyes are blown and puffy, her vision blurred and wet.

She rubbed her eyes, flinching at the pain.

But she couldn’t stop crying.

(It was right after he brought her to the man whom he called Kaien Kurosu.

The younger boy explained how he had found her in the storm, with no memories or people who can look after her.

She didn’t notice the hurt of the other older man as he heard the words.

The whole time, while the boy talked, she stared at him.

Him in his lavender coat and brown hair that could match hers, if only a shade darker.

Her glance went further down to his mouth.

His lips.

Teeth.

_Fangs_.

After a while, he, too, noticed her stare, and the two shared a moment of silence, forgetting everything else around them.

His lips were still open, his fangs shining in the light of the lamps.

There was no hesitation as her right hand touched his face.

It felt so natural for her to touch his cheek.

He leaned into her hand, closing his eyes.

He seemed so in peace in her tiny hands.

She strokes his cheek, wondrously observing him opening up, craving her touch like the flowers long for the shine of the sun.

Her head dipped to the right, curiously looking at him, enjoying her touch.

And then her hand went further down to his lips and he willingly opened them for her, showing the teeth and the fangs.

Fangs.

(The vampire—)

Her index finger touched the fangs, automatically, naturally.

Maybe even as if it was normal for her to do so.

(— he is going to _e a t_ you –)

The air left her lungs. Her hands immediately left his face as if it burned.

The hands of hers went to her throat. While the breathing became smaller and smaller for her.

,, Yuuki - ‘’, she didn’t speak as both the older man and the vampire called for her.

Her breathing only calmed down after the vampire left them both alone.

,, Goodbye’’, he said and left, taking the heart he stole from her, along with him.

Therefore, it started the feeling of emptiness.

After a few days, she realised she is going to live with the other man, who seemed to have swallowed the sun.

Not once during her stay, did he see him sad or mad?

Only with smiles and careful hands did he try to feed her, because she cannot do it on her own.

She tried to do that too, the smiling but -

She cannot do it without her heart.

So she waited for the boy to return.

Yuuki looked outside the window every day and night.

She still went to sleep at night, only to be going back to the window in the morning, watching the snow.

The trees.

Waiting for him.

( Why, why, why did she need him back so badly?)

She didn’t say a thing and only pointed at food and other things like a blanket or the TV for several days.

The days turned to weeks.

On the second week, Kaien Kurosu came into the living room, proudly announcing the Adoption.

,, Now, you can call me Oto-san! Come here to me, my sweet little daughter!’’, he opened his arms proudly and again with this big, jubilant smile.

Yuuki slowly looked up at him just to turn away from him again, back to the window.

The man sighed as he too turned to throw more wood into the fire behind him.

,, You know, many people told me that women and girls should be treated like princesses. Gentle Princess... So I am thinking of calling you, Yuuki. Is it okay for you?’’,

he faced her again, aware that she is not looking at him.

Yuuki didn’t answer him, frowning at the window.

She knew her name is Yuuki.

The young vampire named her already, not him, so why is he telling her that?

Her frown deepened. Still she said nothing.

Only watched the falling snow.

On the fourth week, the older one got so worried about her muteness and general demeanour, of doing nothing but watching the window most of the time.

Even after weeks, she still couldn’t eat on her own, needing help with basic customs.

So Kaien Kuruso called him, telling the boy Yuuki needed help as soon as possible.

After hours of waiting, he truly came back, arching both brows at him.

,, You have told me; she needs my help but -’’

,, Now, now, let us just see her, alright? Her behaviour... it just didn’t get to be -’’, but his voice died out as he opened the door to her room.

The little girl tried to dress, but it turned out poorly.

Laying on the ground, her many layers of clothes on her, she looked like an innocent lamb, confused and naivety spreading out of her.

,, Oh my, Oh my, look at that! Yuuki tried to dress up -’’,

And she truly wanted to do that.

As she saw the car parking outside and the young boy coming out of the car, her hands touched the window, eyes widening.

He came back; he came back!

So she tried to dress herself up, fast, but she just -

She couldn’t -

Suddenly laughter bloomed in the room.

Loud, joyful laughter caught the attention of Kurosu and Yuuki, both looking at the boy with wonder.

He sounded so…. delighted.

So happy.

She stared in awe as Kurosu smiled fondly at him.

,,Okay, Yuuki-chan! Let me dress you properly!’’

After he helped her with the clothes, he disappeared with the boy in another room, leaving her in front of a TV.

She heard the two of them still discussing things, rather quietly, probably trying not to disturb her as she watched the cartoon in front of her.

(She didn’t question why she could hear that that well from afar, no, not yet, not yet.

Purity is a _s i n_ )

,, Maybe I should teach her the etiquette and traditions only…. Only to be sure. I know what she is now -’’, Yuuki frowned a bit at the phrasing.

,, Are you sure? If it goes too deep she might - You know it might do something.’’

,, I will be careful enough. If what you showed me should bear fruit, then she will require Education, regardless. I will simply guide her a bit. For her future’s sake. We might never know what might happen. What might happen to her?’’

The other, older man sighs loudly.

,, Well… She is already caught up in this world, you are right… If you are sure that you can do it by all means, Kaname -’’

Yuuki turned to them. To the door.

She walked to it, to the open door.

As she stood a few metres apart from them, holding the edge of the door she can reach, she stared at the boy.

_Kaname_.

Both of their eyes looked at her, wide with surprise.

,, Yuuki-chan, you… you spoke!’’,

Eh?

Oh, she must have said it out loud.

Yuuki stood right in front of the young boy now, clutching his shirt with a tiny, light hold.

,, Kaname.’’, she smiles.

It was serene, a little open smile, showing a few of her teeth as she looked up at him.

At first, he still seemed too shocked to react until it all melted away and he too smiled at her.

And for the first time, his smile didn’t seem sad or lonely.

On the very next day at breakfast, she noticed how tired the teenager looked.

,, Kaname.’’, she started, and he looked at her sitting right beside her at the wooden table in the eating room.

,, Yes?’’, he sounded so… so delighted.

As if something was lifted, at least a bit, from his shoulders.

,, Tired, Kaname?’’, he smiled down at her.

,, Yes, somewhat.’’

Yuuki turned away from him, looking at the breakfast in front of her.

Her tummy made a noise and Kaname laughed quietly as her cheeks seem to heat.

,, Eat up, Yuuki’’, and eating she did as she tried to eat the food with the butter knife alone - To which Kaname helped her by introducing her to the table manners and eating behaviour she should have. 

Kuruso tried to do it as well, but she rarely listened to him.

Now, though, she smiled up at the young boy, moreover trying to do what he instructs her to learn.

Some egg yolk from the sunny-side-up still got into her white shirt, to which the vampire beside her smiled at, cleaning it up with a cloth.

,, Eat slower, Yuuki. The food won’t run.’’

,, Ah -Oommkay’’

,, And people don’t talk with food in their mouth’’, she nodded, embarrassed again.

She swallowed the food, nodding this time.

After cleaning up the plates and other tableware, they were both sitting in the living room, waiting for the older man who left to come back from his shopping. He wanted to do early on.

Her head automatically rested on his side, feeling comfortable and simply right.

,, Kaname… Kaname’’, she sounded tired.

,, Yes?’’

,, What is ‘’Adoption?’’, he looked away.

,, It means, someone is now your parent, Yuuki. They will look after you’’

The smiley man will look after her?

,, My… My parents -’’, she swallowed, looking at her socks, swinging her feet a little.

,, Where -’’, she looked at him.

And immediately looked down again.

He looked so devastated and sad, she couldn’t bear to witness it any longer.

For several seconds none of them said anything.

,, I am sorry’’, suddenly he stood up, leaving her alone in the living room.

Tears flooded her sight, without even knowing why she was crying.

She promised herself to not mention her parents again in front of him, to make both of them less sad.

She never wanted to see him make such a face.)

Now, at 7, she understood.

She didn’t mention or think about it for her own sake until recently, until the anniversary of her coming to Kurosu.

He meant well, of course, making her feel welcome, which is why he celebrated her coming to him like a birthday.

It is her new birthday.

But now, she realised what the vampire meant.

And she couldn’t stop the tears.

She fell asleep that way, sleeping for several, several hours until the sun greeted the room, bathing her in light.

It hurt her eyes.

Yuuki opened them slowly, blinking several eyes until the light disappeared, a shadow swallowing the light up.

Kaname was here.

,, Yuuki..’’, he said, sounding as broken as she felt.

Her crying returned at the sound of his voice.

Did he know why her tears couldn’t stop coming?

Did he know how to make it stop?

,, My…They…. Kaname… are they… d….’’, she couldn’t say it.

She sniffed, her hands coming up to her tired eyes again to wipe away the newfound tears.

Another hand got a grip of her, colder than her own.

Kaname caught both of her hands, turning her to him, to his chest.

,, It’s okay, Yuuki’’, he said as he kept embracing her.

,, It’s okay. Let it all out. In Private, you can let it all out’’. Every single thing stopped for a moment, making her feel like a stone.

And then the lake broke.

She gripped at him just as hard as him, if not stronger, out of desperation.

And she wailed.

Sobbed it all out.

Her screams got muffled by his shirt.

Kaien Kuruso has an immense collection of books and photographs.

As she searches through his collections, she finds a Black polyvinyl chloride. A Vinyl with songs on it.

A concert, with the focus of the string instruments.

She finds a Vinyl Player right next to it.

She lets the Vinyl play and play for many hours, losing herself in the sound. 

(Later that that day, she went to Kuruso, praising the instruments.

Asking him if she could learn it.

And as he said yes to her request, she hugged his long legs, beaming up at him with glee.)

☾

Kaname taught her about vampires.

So did the older man who wanted so desperately to hear her say ‘’father’’ to him.

(She did it sometimes to make him happy or to get something she wanted badly. Or just out of pity.)

Both of them taught her different things.

Kuruso taught her about the weapons with which you can defend yourself from vampires.

(,, Will I get one too?’’, she was so naïve, as a child should be.

So curious.

Kuruso smiles at that, stroking her hair.

,, Maybe after your cello lessons get you more muscles in your fingers’’, an aghast gasp as she looks down at her fingers, then at her foster-father again.

,, Playing instruments will give me more muscles?!’’, Kaien Kuruso truly doesn’t remember to laugh this much in his lifetime.)

Meanwhile, Kaname taught her…. The attitude of Purebloods.

Families of vampires that are important to know.

The so-called Categories of Vampires, going from A to E.

Yuuki knew purebloods from Kuruso’ teaching too.

They are the royalty of all vampires; he had told her.

They were Kings and Queens.

In the middle of her lesson with Kaname, who came to visit so rarely these days, she looked up from her book to watch him write something down.

She kept looking at him as he neatly continued his work.

,, What is it, Yuuki? What could distract you from your book?’’, she blushed, looking down.

,, Are... Are you a pureblood, Kaname?’’, she immediately looked back to her book. The page looked so interesting suddenly.

,, Ah.’’, he stopped for a second, looking at her.

,, Yes.’’, their eyes met as she looked up.

He glimmered like rubies in moonlight.

And then she gasped, smiling timidly.

,, Your majesty…… Royalty saved me….’’, she hid her red cheeks in her hands, shaking her head.

While doing that, the smile from Kaname escaped her attention.

,, You say your majesty to the king, Yuuki. To the prince you say, your highness’’,

,, Oh… oh. Well. Do you want me to call you that, y… your highness?… Lord... Kaname? Kaname-sama?’’,

He laughed openly. It happens so rarely Yuuki has to watch him in awe, trying to memorise every moment, every glimpse of happiness.

,, No. You can call me whatever you like.’’

Ah.

Hn.

,, Can’t you just be… Kaname to me? Maybe in……. Hnn… When we are both alone at least?’’, it was merely a whisper, but he heard her all the same.

Their eyes still were secured together, neither of them backing down.

Staring.

Seconds flowed away.

And Yuuki felt like she overstepped, getting ready to correct herself, opening her mouth and -

,, Sure’’, he whispered back with an ethereal smile.

,, Please do so. I would prefer it if you would still just call me Kaname.’’

Even if Kaname can’t visit as much anymore every second weekend, and they spent it with lessons and learning, she cherished everything about the time with him.

He was comforting.

(,, Why can’t Purebloods show emotions?’’, Yuuki laid in her bed, recalling their recent lesson from earlier.

Kaname explained to her how Purebloods rarely cry in front of other vampires, hence don’t show emotions at all if possible.

So it is better to appear calm and collected and only show feelings when they are in private.

,, Because vampires are all big evil wolves who have greed for our tears.’’, at that, Yuuki stayed silent.

Vampires are monsters.

(The vampire…. _E a t .... M E_ )

If purebloods have to protect their emotions from their kin, then Yuuki too would try to do that as well.

To protect herself from the monsters, she too will protect herself like her Hero Kaname does.

He must know best, so she should follow his directions.

Yuuki would try to be like Kaname and keep herself safe and only show her smile and laughter when she is alone with close friends.

He kissed her forehead and stroked her right cheek gently, coating her with his cold skin and warm affection.

,, Have sweet dreams, Yuuki’’,

She smiled before falling asleep.

Falling into dreams of being eaten by wolves.)

☾

At nine years old, she strolled through the book collection in Kaien Kuruso’s Home after her Cello practice.

His Home was immense.

Not only did he have his own big house, but is now building several other houses as well.

She didn’t ask why yet, but felt like it will be revealed soon, anyway.

The library too was a pretty huge one.

She sighs and randomly chooses a book from the shelf in front of her.

It was a book about pureblood families.

Huh.

Wonder why Kaien Kuruso owns such a book?

Well, he is educated about vampires and more, so it makes sense for him to have so many books about that subject.

She nodded her head at the thought.

Hn, hn! Yes, it only makes sense.

She opened it up and looked through the pages until she stopped on one particular Name.

Kuran.

Kuran, Kuran, Kuran.

The more she thought about it, the more it throbbed inside her cells and mind.

The name chained itself inside her heart and pierced through the organ with a sword, making it bleed out, her blood dripping out.

The pedigree was on the next page, lining all the members of the family up.

From the Ancient King of Vampires to…… Juuri…. Haruka …….

Rido.

She dropped the book, hearing the thud as it landed on the floor.

It felt like glass was smashed, and its sharp edges cut all the inches of her body.

RedRedRedRedRedRedRedRed.

Everything is _RED_.

Stepping backwards, Yuuki stumbled on her own feet, landing on her bum.

She breathed air in and out, slowly and thoroughly.

Uncle Kuruso was kind enough to teach her this trick early on, tenderly telling her she would need it someday.

After a while she decided she was better. She stood up, still shaking from head to toe.

She took the book in her hands again, closing it and sliding it back to the shelf as she took it from.

When Yuuki closed her eyes, she saw red, blood

E v e r y t h i n g is a N i G h T m a r e covered in R E D.

She held herself steady, holding onto the shelf tightly with both hands. Her knuckles became white.

Forcing her eyes to open, her hands to stretch, and having her fingers open and close.

Again and again.

All was well.

It will be okay.

Kaname will protect me.

She didn’t ask Kaname or Kuruso about it, preferably trying to forget it altogether.

(But at night when she can’t sleep, she rushed into the room, opening the book to read their names again and again and again until she noticed something else altogether.)

Kaname Kuran

She gasps.

His Name was right beside the ones of ‘’Juuri’ and ‘’Haruka’’

She held the book tight to her chest, keeping it near her tiny heart.

As if she wanted the book to hear her human heartbeat.

_Thump thump thump_ .)

Kaname nor Uncle Kuruso ever says the name.

As if they are afraid of something.

Yuuki already digested the information weeks ago. So when Kaname comes back for a visit again, she falls into his open arms and holds him.

Both of them hug each other tightly.

Like the book that night, she holds him tightly to her heart before they go into the house.

It’s okay, her heart seems to say.

It’s okay, It’s okay.

But Yuuki does not know what it means at all.

She doesn’t know why her heart whispers these words to him.

And why his heart whispers it right back?

☾

Kaname tried to teach her the importance of Purebloods drinking blood and its Powers.

Purebloods are the only ones who can turn humans into vampires.

They have to drink the blood of the person and return some of their blood to the human as well so that he won’t become a bad Level-E Vampire.

Vampire’s below Purebloods cannot do that.

So they serve.

He teaches her why Purebloods turned human in the first place, talking about a war that took place long ago.

How the war changed the world they are living in, calling the time before the War, the ‘‘ Old world’’ while today is the new.

How gruesome war is, how unfair and unkind no matter who you are.

But when talking about blood drinking, his tone changing, becoming lighter.

  
It feels like he tries to make her less afraid of it.

,, It’s for survival, isn’t it? Like… Like us humans eating animals’’. With her little, naïve, and innocent heart, she cannot grasp the idea of it.

Humans eat animals.

Killing animals for survival. So it is normal, right?

,, Well…. You can say that, yes’’, he nodded at her, smiling proudly while stroking her head.

So now she knows then, that it’s survival for them.

Humans eat meat and vampires drink blood from humans or vampires alike for survival, as she found out today.

,, You can drink the blood from other vampires?!’’, astonishment and a brief glimmer of horror sparkled on her face.

The Vampire next to her let out a little chuckle.

,, Yes. Blood is Blood. And to vampires drinking from other vampires…. Sometimes it’s even better to drink from vampires than drinking from humans.’’

,, Why, Kaname?’’, she turned her head to the right, looking puzzled.

Why is it better? Is it because it is magical blood?

The teenager opposite from her Hmm’ed.

,, Well, mainly because of emotions. When you love someone, you want to hug them, right?. When a vampire loves someone, they want their blood and theirs alone. Only the blood of a beloved can quench the thirst’’, she shuddered a bit at this.

It sounded so…. so inhuman.

Mentally, she hit her head.

Of course, since vampires are not human!

(But aren’t you human? You fool, you _foolfoolfool_.)

She looked at him, questions are written on her face.

,, Do you…. Do… you -’’

,, No, Yuuki. I do not have someone like that in my life.’’

There was something he left unsaid. She heard it in his voice, however; she didn’t question it.

,, Well, I hope you find someone you love so dearly, Kaname! You deserve to be loved!’’

,, Eh? Don’t you love me, Yuuki?’’, she blushed at the played hurtful expression on his face.

,, O-Of course, I love you! You are the one I love the most!’’; she said without hesitation and blushed even harder, hiding her face by turning away from him.

He laughed at her, teasingly.

And still so soft.

,, Then this is all I need, Yuuki’’, he said, smiling at her openly.

She loved it so so so much when he smiled without a cheer of pain, sadness, or any kind of loneliness.

☾

And so the years flew by.

She becomes more distant from the world, creating her mask of neutrality while going out, and only sometimes does the excitement slip out of her.

(She will perfect it someday, surely. To make Kaname happy, to be like her hero, her Saviour, her prince with blood and smiles so sad like melting snow)

At home, she becomes warm, like the summer and the sun itself.

She loves to be so open in private more and more, especially if it’s Kaname who sees it or when Cross plays with her to entertain her childish heart.

It’s her birthday, the day she came to live with Uncle Cross.

She turns then, smiling brightly, jumping up and down in front of the front door, waiting for her beloved Kaname.

Although it hurts sometimes to think that it’s the same day her parents must have died, she still smiles brightly for the two beloved people in her life.

She wants to be happy and leave the (R e D.) past behind.

The door swings open and the teenager stepped into the room, only to be met with a firm embrace from the younger girl.

,, Kaname, Kaname! I missed you so, so much! I am so glad you are back!’’, his arms snake around her back, pressing her to his chest, holding her there.

,, Really? How much did you miss me?’’, he smiled down at her, his eyes showing nothing but absolute adoration.

Yuuki freed her arms to open her arms wide.

,, So… Soooo much!’’, she laughed suddenly, joyful and happy

Along with her laughter, he joined her. Even if it’s much quieter.

Together they laughed in bliss for a while before he stopped, pressing her to him yet again, making Yuuki blush as he rested his head on her tiny shoulder.

,, Happy Birthday Yuuki.’’,

She smiled.

How can she be sad about today when her favourite person is here?

She cannot be.

She will not be.

( Even if his voice was surfaced in sadness. In loneliness)

After eating the cake Uncle Cross bought, she sat down on the floor, reading some children’s book they both got her for her birthday.

The other two disappeared to an unfamiliar room, far, far away from her to talk about a topic she probably shouldn’t hear about.

Books are _muuuuuuuch_ better anyway.

The book has pretty pictures too.

It is about a pretty high school girl falling in love with someone who isn’t meant for her, but in the end, love wins.

She images herself as the protagonist and her pretty boyfriend at her sight.

She blushed as the face of her partner become more clear, appearing with deep dark brown hair and wine-red eyes -

No! No, this is just a fantasy.

Fantasy!

She hides her red cheeks with her hands, shaking her head a bit.

She stands up suddenly, wanting to be together with Kaname and Uncle Kuruso.

It was her birthday, after all!

And then she heard it.

Again, like five years ago, they were rooms away from her, talking quietly.

She stops in her tracks, frozen.

,, I think he survived and if I am correct; we need to protect her more than before -’’

She gulps.

What?

,,…. If….. If he survived and you are right, Kaname, then we need to find him. He is dangerous -’’,

What?

What are they talking about?

And then his name-dropped.

The name in the book.

The name that made her seem so much red.

They were rooms away from her.

But it felt like the name of the person was whispered into her ear, clear and loud enough.

R -

I -

D -

O -

Something was ripped open and being eaten right away.

She could hear the munching of it, the wet slurping of the r E D liquid going down someone’s throat.

The sucking of blood.

Her very own blood rushed in her body, turning into a flow of heat.

(The vampire… I am scared… I am scared)

She is ten.

It is her birthday.

And her vision gets red, red, red.

_(HE IS GOING TO EAT ME)_

Suddenly she finds herself on the ground clutching her chest, barely finding air inside of her lungs.

In and out.

In and out.

But no air was coming back to her at all.

She couldn’t grasp it.

Everything was suddenly so blurry.

All of her.

Her complete life, her new life.

Blurred.

Suddenly, she felt a hand touching her shoulders.

Above her, the only person who isn’t blurry, never was blurry, looks her over, trying to ask her what is wrong, but she barely hears his voice overall this red that is covering him, the walls -

,, Something is wrong, something is - ‘’

,, Please calm down, it could be something else entirely ’’

,, You can see that something is wrong with her.. It… It can’t be -’’

But before she can say that she can finally hear them again, she faints.

And forgets.

(,, What triggered it?’’

,, I do not know; I am going to erase this memory for her.’’

Kaien Kuruso examines the boy in front of him.

He doesn’t know if it was a good idea.

He looked at the fainted girl who looked so much like his close friend he lost.

No.

No, this is Yuuki.

And he loves her like a daughter.

,, Do you think it will be okay? Erasing her memories? Will it not cause more trouble?’’, the boy shakes his head, looking her over again.

_And I am just too selfish._

,, Maybe we should stop teaching her - Maybe it did trigger something. It was too dangerous... Should I just erase all of it?’’

,, No. No, I do not think it is that. If you erase all the recent memories that you might hurt her brain, Kaname. Just erase today’s accident, it might help, but no more’’. The boy didn’t make any noise, didn’t even breathe for a while before nodding.

,, You are right. For that it is too late.’’, his right hand rests on her forehead, glowing purple.

She flinched a bit but then relaxes in his hold.

Kaien Kuruso sighed.

It will be alright. They will protect her.

Juuri’s daughter and son, he will treat like his very own and protect them from any harm could be waiting.)

☾

Yuuki woke up in her bed, grumbling a bit.

What happened?

She doesn’t remember at all.

It is her tenth birthday and….

And?

She saw Kaname today… ate cake with him and played with him….

And…..

And….

,, Ah, Yuuki, you are awake’’; she looked to her left, Kaname sitting on a chair, a book on his lap.

,, Ah, Kaname… What happened?’’, turning her head a little, she puzzled about it some more.

She…

,, You fell, Yuuki. But it is alright. Nothing bad happened to you. Kuruso and I looked you over’’,

She blinked.

Ah?

,, Okay then’’, her smile on her lips felt uncertain, but she felt protected by Kaname.

So it was fine.

So she isn’t bothering about it more, for now, and lets herself rest some more, cuddling into the pillow.

,, Will I see you tomorrow, Kaname?’’, she looked up at him as he was reading his book.

He hummed again.

,, Yes, I will be there for a while before I am gone again’’,

She smiled more confidently this time.

,, Until tomorrow, Kaname’’

Then she falls asleep.

Dreaming of blue and red eyes, following her every move.

Eating her.

Crushing her alive.

(Kaname did as he promised to Cross. He only took the memories that hurt her.)

In the morning, she played with her beloved before he went away again, to the aristocracy he belongs to.

It was okay.

Although it grew lonely without him.

But as she waved him goodbye, she couldn’t get rid of the feeling of something being severely wrong.

She cannot place it.

But it made her think.

She never openly asked again, being suddenly afraid of something.

The feeling always arises when she thought of -

Red.

She blinked.

It was surely nothing, so she didn’t think of it.

(He is dangerousdangerousdangerous. )

☾

Life continued to be normal, to be better.

She played her cello, read books Kuruso gave her, went to school.

Yuki became more confident with herself, was healthy, smile more, although only in private as she promised herself so long ago.

Until one day, at twelve, her view of the world shifted again.

Uncle Kuruso came back with a little boy, white as snow, from head to toe - his eyes though.

They seemed not to see her.

The eyes have seen too much death.

,, He will live with us from now on, Yuuki. His family, they were killed by a bad vampire -’’,

_(The Vampire..... Will eat m e )_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! tell me what you think!!! any critique or praise or literally any kind of comment will be appreciated! 
> 
> Don't be shy and dm/ask on my tumblr or / and twitter which are the following:  
> [tumblr](https://frostybitingbyss.tumblr.com)  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/luzdela_luna_)


	2. so sweet it is, the pain we share

She stared.

( What a _fool_ you are.)

Gulping, she gazes at them both, trying to hide her emotions.

The young boy didn’t look at her.

Yuuki wondered if can see her at all.

His whole family.

Dead.

Just like that.

Yuuki doesn't know how long it took for the white-haired boy to walk inside the house.

He stops right beside her, quiet saying nothing, seeing nothing.

Maybe he is still trapped in the memory of the bad vampire taking everything from him.

He cannot move forward just yet.

She pauses looking at him, turning away.

Instead, Yuuki looks up at the older man outside with a trembling smile on her lips.

Uncle Cross gazes to both of them, not meeting their eyes.

He seemed so different now.

Gone is the illusion of happiness as reality knocked them both over.

,, I still have something to discuss with the police. Please, take care of him? A Bath would do right now, sweetheart. He is probably very cold. And give him the room next to mine, yes?’’, he smiled as he instructed her what to do, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

Yuuki thinks at that moment, that for the first time, she saw the real Kaien Kurosu.

And it hurt her, how well she believed in the illusion he created for her.

How safe and lovely it was to live with a lie.

To embrace it more, rather than the truth.

Maybe he did it for both of their sake so that she too won’t fall back into the nightmares.

( Even if you never left, isn't that right?)

After nodding and saying goodbye to her foster father, she studies her right, while closing the door.

Some snow petals made it inside, tranquil flying over the children, landing on her hair, melting in in it.

It is winter again.

A winter stormed outside.

She didn’t realise until the door opened today.

The boy grips the cloak over him persistently as if its the only thing that can ensure his life.

He is….cold?

Maybe.

,, Please wait here, okay?’’, he doesn't give any sign of hearing her.

She stops, not moving away from him.

Parted her mouth again to say something, but all words died out as she stared at the boy for a bit longer.

He looked like...

A statue.

Frozen in time.

With light steps she went into the living room, taking one of the many blankets that belonged to Kuruso.

Yuuki stopped right in front of him anew, holding the blanket like a gift.

,, Hey...Can I ... Can I put it over you?’’, still nothing.

Several seconds went by, and she bit her lip, looking away from him.

What to do? She didn’t want to step into his space, seeing how vulnerable he is.

Ah…What to do.

The young girl turns back to him and gingerly, carefully, as if she is caring for a newborn, puts the warm, fuzzy black blanket over his shoulders.

Finally, some kind of reaction from him -

He merely turns to face her, breathing in and out.

,, I am sorry …but see? It’s much warmer now, right?’’, she murmurs to him, a very small smile on her lips.

He doesn't say anything only looking at her, probably analysing her now, that she is present to him.

Now that she is actually real and nothing he can ignore.

She doesn't mind.

Her mission now was just to take care of him, of this beaten and broken young boy.

The juvenile girl steps away from him, to give him his sweet space back.

,, I am going to prepare your bath now, okay? Stay here, I am coming back in a few minutes, yeah?’’, she waits politely for him to say something, anything, from annoyance to soft whispers.

Nothing.

Vaguely she softly smiles, trying to make him feel safe enough before going to the bathroom, preparing the bath she has promised him.

Yuuki read quite a bit about oils that helps to calm down, picking up some lavender from the garden Kuruso-Oji-san planted for both of them, she picks some seeds and petals to mix it with the water.

,, Alright then“, slowly she moves back to him, seeing as he didn’t move at all as she told him to do.

He probably didn’t have any idea what to do with himself right now anyhow, he probably couldn’t even think -

This young boy just lost his family.

Taking a deep breath she hesitates, looking him over again.

Then she proceeds to stay in front of him again, making sure he sees her.

Trusts her enough.

(Even if he doesn't see you, sess you seees -)

Yuuki blinks.

,, The bath is ready. Will you follow me?’’, again he only openly stares at her.

A statue….A frozen one.

A corpse.

A doll.

( The winter has taken his heart, leaving his body behind. The remains to collect. Don't you remember how it feels? Do you remember the cold? Do you, do you?)

,, I…I will touch you now okay?’’, he doesn't protest, does anything, so the brown-haired takes matters in her own hands.

It is finally time to guide him back to the living.

She reaches for the arm that wasn’t fully covered with the blanket, leading him into the bathroom.

Yuuki unlocks the door, the steam of the hot water immediately leaking through.

,, Come in. It will do you good, I promise.’’, still saying nothing, he strolls into the room, gripping the blankets even tighter.

At least he listens to her, she thinks as she regarded him.

,, I can take the blankets -’’

,, No’’, his voice was soft yet firm.

She halts in her tracks, not realising she moves into his personal space again.

He…can speak.

But it didn’t feel like he spoke at all.

There was nothing alive in his voice.

Just the frozen remains.

,, But…You won’t do anything with them here, I will just take them back to the living room, okay? There are several towels, so don’t worry…okay?’’, this time he says nothing, going back to being mute.

He stares down to the floor, his mouth tightly closed.

Yuuki's hands grab the first blanket, taking both blankets slowly away from him.

It feels like she is undressing him.

Exposing him for the world to see, to point at.

The one she gave him to warm him a little bit, got a bit wet from the steam but other than that it was good and clean.

But as she looks at the one he originally herewith, it was wet with -

Something.

She freezes, taking a deep breath.

It was something dark, staining the cloth.

Her hands begin to shake as she regarded the last lingering shield she took away from him.

She clutches the cloth until her knuckles start to colour white.

Yuuki doesn't know if the boy can notice her sudden change of attitude.

Even though he probably knows already by now if he searches it in her face, it is clear.

He can see the fear in her eyes.

All of his right upper sides, from his neck to his shoulder, was painted in a deep, deep red.

Somehow she knows it was his blood and nobody else's.

Her throat becomes dry.

She feels empty, moving automatically.

He almost died tonight.

Putting both blankets aside, she moves automatically, without really knowing what she is doing.

There is nothing inside her head.

The emptiness inside of her dictates as she gets a white towel, turning back to him.

Not caring for his comfort anymore.

She doesn’t see the boy anymore.

She only sees a mirror.

Yuuki starts to clean his shoulder and throat, getting the red away from his milk-white skin. 

Cleaning him with softly strokes so that she won’t hurt him or damage him more.

Wiping the blood of his body, like a mother would wipe off the dirt of their child after a playful day outside after the ate messily.

So caring, without trying to put through more pain.

Yet the eyes, the normally now auburn coloured eyes, lost all their sight, looking like a dead forest, without any fruitful earth or trees.

He makes a noise as she cleaned it away, but she didn’t stop.

Doesn't hear him.

Not stopping until it was clean again.

She stops, finally after it was all gone, taking the now dirty bloodied towel where almost no white colour remains, and the two blankets in her hands, leaving the boy alone in the bath so that he could clean himself.

Or cry alone or anything -

He should let it all out, in his own privacy.

The next day Kuruso comes back from the Police at 5 in the morning.

Yuuki wakes up several hours later.

She is in bed, looking at the clock beside her bed.

7 am.

She sighs, thinking about the boy who might be a floor under her, with her elder.

He could also be asleep or laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling in vain.

His wound was…it was monstrous.

( _scared_ \- )

She shocks her head, clearing her head again.

His wound was caused by a vampire, that was very clear for anyone who knows about the existence of them.

But….then.

Her breath stopped.

Auburn eyes widened as her hands cap her lips and stopping her from gasping.

Yuuki goes completely still.

She sits this way for what felt like hours.

Who….. No, What kind of vampire did the biting in the first place?

☾ 

(,, You are Quiescent'', Yuuki looked up to Kaname, her brows both up.

,, Ah, you don't know what it is?'', he swirled her around, slowly and comfortable to the rhythm of the music playing inside her mind.

No music is playing in the room.

They were meant to dance waltz today.

Yuuki could talk him over, however, to this whatever they want to.

She had a feeling he needed this freedom - This freedom to let go and embrace something warm.

He must be tired, being so cold.

She blinked, looking down at their feet so that she won't step on his on accident.

,, Hn? What did you ask?'', 

,, Do you know what that word means?'',

,, Ah'', the brown-haired girl shakes her head, meeting the wine coloured eyes.

,, You are a quiet and a soft-spoken soul.'', the smaller one smiles at that, feeling her cheeks heating up.

Though as soon as the smile awoke, as fast it died.

Her lips thinned, the auburn eyes darkening as she continued to grumble about it.

,, What is it Yuuki? You look troubled'', she looked to the left, parting her lips. 

Cloning them.

Doing so two times over until :

,, If I am a quiet and soft-spoken soul... then you are a troubled and lonely soul. ''

A scary one.

Despite the harsh words, they swiped to the music that filled the both of their heads, with notes and ups and downs.

Yuuki was meant to play this piece on her Cello someday when her skills are higher.

She was scared for some reason, to look up.

And when she did, she almost cried.

Then, he smiled.

He smiled down at her, looking define and monstrous at the same time.

( _The perfect killer._ )

,, Are you scared of me, Yuuki? Or do you pity me?'', his hand tightened around hers, holding her hard and steady.

She was sure if she tries to get out of his hold, it will hurt her skin, her pride, her flesh. 

Her human flesh.

,, I am not scared. Nor do I pity you. I do pity the ones who you bite, though.'',

,, Why?''

,, Well, I do remember you telling me, how Purebloods have this particular ability to turn humans...'', his smiles sharpened.

As if he was mocking her.

Her own grip on his hands got stronger, solid.

Almost scratching his own skin out.

,, Yes. But I do not drink from humans. I only drink the tablets I talked to you about last time'',

Ah. Those.

,, So you wouldn't bite a human?'',

,,It's illegal, besides I do not have the appetite for them'', she looked away from him.

,, Am I scaring you now?''

Now that you talk about eating humans?

_NowNowNowNowNowNow_

,, No'', she sounded so sure back then.

No appetite for humans.....no appetite..... _not even for_ \- )

After getting herself ready she notes the time being a little over an hour than when she woke up.

At 8 am she went down to the kitchen, not surprised at seeing her foster father there, making several meals for breakfast.

She has heard him while getting ready, humming a song that played on the radio.

He is making food.

For three people now.

She stops herself from entering the room, as the white-haired boy comes up, now standing next to the older one.

_( You heard him too, didn't you?)_

,,Ah, thank you for the eggs. You do like French Toast, don’t you Zero-kun?I do remember you telling me that once..’’, Yuuki can hear the smile from the man.

He just radiates too much love, sometimes it is too much, not even room for others to breath, she believes.

,,…I don’t mind.’’

She ogles at the boy.

He speaks!

So freely too!

So early….So carefully and in a whispered tone.

The gaping turned into a smile.

Yuuki is utterly relieved and cheerful for the boy, for getting better after losing every little thing in his life - No, no.

She shakes her head.

No time for those thoughts, away, away.

,, Ah, Yuuki-chan! Look isn’t Zero a sweet? He wanted to help me with making breakfast!’’

,, You woke me up and told me to come down, I didn’t say anythi-’’

,,And now we are making French Toast! You love that, don’t you?’’,

,,…Oi…Hey!’’, the white-haired boy gets a bit louder this time.

Yuuki beams at them both, seeing the dynamic of them together as overwhelmingly delightful.

Still, she notes how sore he sounds, how broken.

It hurts to recognise it, to feel it.

To relate to it.

,, Let’s eat then, yes?’’, her smile enhances, more open as she stepped into the kitchen meeting the other two.

,,Hnh, Hnh. Let’s eat, my dear children!’’,

,,You are not adopting me’’

,,But _Zero-chan_ \- ‘’

This makes her giggle a little, though she covers her lips with both hands, turning away from them, so they won’t catch it.

After a moment she gathered herself anew, facing them both.

,, Okay, I am preparing the table, yes?’’,

Kurosu nods happily, a hand resting on the boy’s shoulder.

And the boy, he just stares again.

At her figure and her smiling face.

It is so different from the girl from yesterday -

But yet again so is he.

Live continues to go on even if it decides to take and take, with greed, gore, and glory.

Even if you are dead, murdered, humiliated to the grave -

, you still have to live.

She eats the french toast with delight, smiling as the bread melts on her tongue while the eggs and sugar sweeten up the flavour.

Yuuki hums happily reaching for the honey next to her.

,, Isn’t it…sweet enough?’’, she looked to her right, the young boy eyeing her over-sugared meal.

,, What’s wrong with that? Sugar is good for you!’’, her pout makes him look away from her.

,,...Too much sweetness?''

She grins at that, while Kurosu who sits across from them, just laughed happily, pointed at them both.

,, Exactly, Zero! Eat more, eat more! Sugar is good for energy and especially your brain!’’, still smiling he shoves some plates to his side, looking at him attentively.

The boy opens his mouth, looking at his plate with food barely touched.

,,I am full enough, thank you’’

He stands up and leaves the eating room, probably going back to the room that was given for him.

Yuuki doesn’t remember giving him any instruction after she showed him the bath. 

She must have since he knows where to go, or he looked around already.

,,Hey….Dad?’’, the man who now stands in front of the entrance of the eating room, lit up like a firework, turning to her.

,,Yes, Yuuki-chan? My daughter of mine?’’, she cringes but said nothing to that particular statement.

,,Will he….Where will he stay? ….Z….a….Eh…Zero….Is his name?’’

,,Zero Kiryuu. The people with whom I talked about his custody, are still deciding his future but it looks like he might stay here, as the other man who could’ve taken him in, is not available at the moment.’’

,,Eh? Why is that?’’

Kaien Kurosu chuckles at the questioning look on her face.

,,The Kiryuu is a Hunter Family, Yuuki. We talked about them remember?’’, she vaguely remembers a lesson about those people.

Vampire Hunters.

People, who are stronger, faster, and much better equipped to hunt the beasts who can harm the human civilisation.

Or so, it was written in the books she was given to read.

,,Yes. We talked about them’’

,,The man who could’ve taken Zero in, is a pretty well-known one. He is currently out of the country after….The accident. So for now, Zero could stay with us. The Kiryuu’ Clan don't have many…other relatives.’’

,,…..Why?’’, a sad expression appears.

Whenever Kuruso is sad, his whole face changes.

Yuuki can barely look at him, so different he looks whenever he feels anything other than happiness.

It’s like a whole new person stands before her.

,,The job of a hunter…isn’t an easy one. You can lose your life as fast as it begins.’’

The small girl stared out of the window, watching some birds flying out from the trees in Uncle Kurosu's garden.

( Vampire…. _Eat me -_ )

,,Oh’’

,,It’s okay, Yuuki. All is right’’, a firm nod from her.

,,It’s okay.’’ 

Later that day,Yuuki sat on the swing in Kurosu's gardens, a book about hunters in her lap.

Zero Kiryuu.

That was his name.

(,,Zero is your name?...It isn't from here isn't it?'', she asked as she handed him the now clean plate.

,,....My mother isn't Japanese. She named me after her father'', Yuuki nodded her head, letting the silence overcome them both.

She didn't speak for a while.

,,It is a pretty name, Zero'', he froze. The brown-haired girl held the new clean plate in the air, waiting for him to take it.

,,...Thank you'', the plate left her wet fingers, and they both went back to work again. )

She strokes the letters in the book, reading about the Hunter Clan.

As there is a book about vampires, there is a book about hunter families in the book collection Kurosu' openly shares with her due to her new-found hobby to read.

The shadow of the tree crown leaves her white skin, letting her meet a warm, shiny ray of sunlight from the winter sun.

She focuses too much on the book to notice how much time already passed.

A sigh abandons her, the eyes looking down at the snow.

,, Well then…’’, the book closing.

She really should ask her foster-father why he has so much information about vampires and hunters.

She really, really should.

Except somehow it always leaves her mind, to ask and ease her curiosity.

She has ideas on why and from where the information is all gathered, but the possibility of it being true, hurts her.

She doesn’t want to be true after all.

She just wants Kaien Kurosu to be…..To stay Kaien Kurosu is all.

Ignorance is bliss as they say.

,, What is that?’’, Zero is right beside her as she stepped back into the house.

,, Eh?’’, confusion wraps up inside of her.

,, The book. From where did you get it?’’, with every word he speaks, sounds angrier.

_Betrayed_.

,,It is just…a book, from Uncle Kurosu's room- Ah, should I show you the way? I will bring the book back now.’’

He follows her as she went to bring the book back to the shelf she got it from.

Getting to the room, Zero snatches the book away from her, opening it up to look at what is written inside it.

His eyes become harder, full of violence.

,, That….Is none of your business. My family is none of your _business_.’’

,,Eh?’’

He didn’t speak up again, merely looks at her as he got the book back into its place, leaving her alone in the room.

_Huh_?

,, Shouldn’t I have done that?’’, Yuuki peers to Kurosu as he is directly looking at her, worry fully consuming him.

,,…No, Yuuki. I would say it was quite mean.’’, she frowns.

Mean? But she only wanted to know more about him!

,,It would be best to apologise to him.’’, she bits her lip looking down again.

Apologise? For what? She doesn't understand.

Probably does not want to understand.

She is still a child, after all, there are many things she isn't prepared to understand yet or is afraid to.

,, What is it, that I did wrong?’’

,, You tried to open his secrets up without asking. Isn’t it mean of you? ‘’

_Huh?_

,, Look, Yuuki dear’’, he kneels in front of her, taking her hands in his.

,, How would you feel when someone looks into your past without asking?’’

Her mouth seems dry.

,, But I do not have a past.’’

At this, her parental figure looks away.

,, Then what if someone goes into your room, without knocking after something was stolen from the room? Without Permission. How would you feel, my dear?’’,

She fusses.

,,...H...Hurt?’’

,, You would feel that way, won’t you?’’, she nods.

,, Then I will…go and apologise. ‘’

Realizing what she did, she squeezes his hands before letting go.

,,I will go and apologise now, okay? Daddy?’’,

A smile, small yet visible reaches his lips.

,,Yes, yes, my dear daughter’’

She stops right before the door, turning around to say something else but it dies on her lips as she sees Uncle Kurosu, who probably thinks she is gone already.

He appears deep in thought.

Whenever she sees this side of Kurosu, her whole body gets shivers.

And it terrifies her.

☾ 

She knocks on his door.

No answer.

Again she tried to get him to open the door but to no avail.

,, Zero? Can’t I come on? I wanted to talk.’’

Nothing.

Flashbacks to yesterday make her freeze up.

Even if she understands what Kurosu wants to tell her, about privacy and the violation of it, her fear made her act out before she could think, a bad feeling overcoming her.

,, Hey Zero? I am coming in, okay?’’, without waiting for an answer, knowing, it won’t come anyway, she enters the room.

The very first thing that she notices darkness.

The only light source came from the door she held open.

The curtains cover the window, not letting the natural light of the sun inside the room.

The white-haired boy rests right next to the bed, not looking up.

,, Zero?’’, a noise suddenly catches her attention.

_Scratch, scratch, scratch._

Yuuki's hand found the switch for the lights, but she hesitates.

For some reason, turning the light on makes her too scared - she didn’t dare to see it.

Moreover, even without the light, she could still recognize his form.

She stares directly at him.

His hair isn't as white as snow as she has thought, it was more grey, more silver.

And the noise, the awful sound - 

Comes from his fingers scraping against his throat.

,, Zero!’’, she stops his hand from injuring himself further, taking his hand away from the newfound wound, looking it up and down.

His finger cups were covered with blood.

,, What are you doing…’’, his eyes close.

He tries to free himself from her hold yet she resists it, not giving up on him.

She isn’t let him get consumed in the darkness.

,, There….I was bitten. I want…..want……want to get rid of it’’, how can someone sound so empty? So throughout broken?

,, Zero….Zero. It’s okay, yes? It - ‘’ _if you hurt yourself more, it might kill you._

,, What do _you_ know of it ?’’, lethal. He sounded like a feral animal, ready to strike.

,, It is hard right now. But it will eventually get better. I know, nothing that I can do will make you believe me, nothing that I say will bring them back…but I am here for you. I am here for you’’,

He gawks at her, his lavender eyes wide and unreadable.

And she just smiled back at him, watery as she held his hands with her own.

Firmly and strongly.

His blood coating them, both hands now bloody.

,,Zero-kun? Dinner is ready’’

Nothing.

She turns her head to the right, thinking.

,,Zero-kun. I am leaving a little bit in front of your door, okay?’’

No answer.

She shrugs, actually doing what she promised.

Miso Soup on a plate was standing in front of his door as he opens it.

A small piece of paper was next to it.

'Miso Soup is good for you, Zero-kun! Eat it please, okay?'

He simply stares.

,, Zero? Do you feel better?’’

,, Yes’’

,,Oooooh! He speaks, he speaks!’’

,,….Shut up’’

,, Do you want to make something for breakfast together? Kurosu Oji-san is still asleep.’’

,,….Hn. Okay’’

☾ 

February 2nd is her birthday.

She is turning 13 this year, Yuuki thought as she dressed warmly.

And Kaname is meeting her in town!

,,I'll be off then!'', she opened the door, waving both Kurosu and Zero goodbye.

(,, Wait...Where is she going?''

,, Hn...She is meeting someone important, and it is her birthday, after all so said person couldn't say no'', Kurosu ruffled Zero's silver hair while the other slapped his hands away from him.

,, Wait - Wait, it is her birthday?''

,,Oh? Didn't she tell you?'' )

The town is merely five minutes away from home.

Yuuki pauses in front of the fountain that marked the middle of it, waiting for Kaname as she plays with her gloves.

Her whole outfit is white, now that she thinks about it.

It will get dirty much easier, much faster than other tones.

Swiftly her head snaps up, watching the crowd.

The breathing of hers becomes uneven, the heart beating faster, her skin glazing with sweat.

The young girl senses them before she could see the form before they could see her.

A vampire - A whole different one.

Her only encounter with those was pain and murder, her body warning her for those scenarios.

She is ready to flee.

A pair of hands clasp her shoulder, freezing her on the spot.

The vampire came forth, their blonde hair shining in the sunlight.

And bowed.

( Don't you _sseee_? -)

,, I am sorry, Kaname-sama. I haven't -''

,, Begone'', Yuuki turns around, not wanting to look at the vampire anymore, instead her view was filled with wine-coloured eyes, and auburn hair.

And the smile.

,, Kaname!'', her tiny arms surround him, hugging him close, as she always does.

,, Did Kurosu-san let you out alone, Yuuki? I should talk to him about this, it isn't safe.'', her brows shoot up.

,, It's okay, you are here after all, right? I felt safe enough to go out on my own, knowing you would be here.'', his worried glance disappears, leaving a smile on his lips.

,, Happy Birthday, Yuuki''

,, Let us go and celebrate! Hn...What about Parfait? The cafe here is beautiful, Kaname''

Taking his hand, interviewing them, she guides him through the town.

Fear was forgotten, although her hands still feel sweaty.

The evidence of it always remains.

Back home a cake was on the table, her name written messily on it.

Zero and her foster father sang to her that day, and she would 

always remember the red face of Zero by the end of it.

And Kaien Kuruso grabbed his camera to get as many pictures of them both, so happy, so free, as possible.

☾ 

The school didn't let her rest.

It was Yuuki’s last year in Shōgakkō, elementary school.

For now, she doesn’t question what she would do after, since Kaien Kurosu would have an option ready.

She is sure.

The brown-haired girl mentally notes to ask soon.

Leaving the building, pure relief overcame her, making her smile, until she glances outside.

It’s raining.

Well, she is an admirer of gloomy weather.

The atmosphere, the feeling of it.

As if you were caught in a different world altogether.

Then she looked further into the rain and sighed.

,, Zero-kun! Zero-kun, what are you - Hey!’’, he still walks without paying her shouting attention.

( And she swore herself to not be loud in public- )

Opening her transparent umbrella, she walks up to him, holding the umbrella up his head.

,, You’ll get cold, Zero-kun. And we made sure you get healthier, are you throwing that all away, hn?’’, a smile blooms on her lips, making him scoff.

,, Not like I asked for it.’’, she grimaces at his raspy voice.

,, Well, kind people do kind things’’

,, Yeah, yeah’’, he doesn’t do anything as Yuuki comes closer to him, holding the umbrella up to both of their heads.

,, I..’’, she stopped, giving him a side glance.

He looked back at her, frowning.

,, Yeah?’’

,, I wanted to apologise. What I did wasn’t nice’’

,, What are you talking about?’’, she gawks, not believing his words.

,, I looked your family up, without your permission! It…after you lost them. It must be a sensitive topic still.’’

Both children cease talking after that, letting the sound of rain filling up space.

Letting the rain speak for them.

_Drip, drop drip._

,, It’s alright….It’s a stupid thing anyway -’’

,, It’s not stupid! No one’s feelings are stupid and neither is yours….Don’t think you are invalid for feeling wronged. Especially since it…’’

It was only a few days after their murder.

Although she knows the feeling, although she understands it, she still went ahead and wronged him, right after it happened.

( How can you even dare to relate, when you don't remember _it at a l l_ ?)

She bits her lip looking straight ahead, away from him.

,, I accept your apology. Will you stop being so annoying now?’’

What?

,, What? I am annoying? Or can’t you deal with people being nice to you, huh?’’

,, Oh shut up.’’, she doesn’t notice the warming red spreading on his cheeks as they both walk further on.

,, Hey, Zero-kun, wanna come along with me? I have to buy something in town.''

,, What exactly?'', she shrugs.

,, Cello strings''

,, What. Did you just say Cello strings?'', she nods, turning away.

Hiding her teasing grin from him.

,, Wanna hear me play?''

He seemed unsure but nods anyway.

,,Sure'',

And she did play for him, that night.

The song to which both Kaname and she danced to, a few years ago.

☾ 

It’s has been nearly three weeks since she last saw him.

Last week she has asked Uncle Kurosu if he left any kind of message for him while she was away, at school, or anything.

But nothing.

She pauses, looking up the window, a deja vu overwhelming her.

( He…who was taken your heart….Will he give it back? Will he give it all back to you? _Or will he let you rot?_ )

Shaking her head, Yuuki stands up from the chair, leaving the room altogether.

( Maybe he will eat you…come on, _ask nicely)_

☾ 

_Look, at all the blood dripping from the walls, Yuuki._

She looks up.

_Who is it? Who is it? Are you trapped?_

What are you...talking about...

_Do you believe you are safe? Or have you forgotten? Have you forgotten the sin? The sin you will commit?_

Please...do be quiet, I do not know what you are -

_Look up, Yuuki! Look up, see how their future will be with you in it. A disease, a parasite._

She looks up again.

The ceiling breaks, but she cannot move out as she tried. Her body slowly turned into stone.

Huh?

And while she looked in the ceiling a scream echoes in the room.

Zero?

_He is dying, Yuuki...Dying, dying, dying and it is your fault._

My fault why -

An image of him getting eaten by a Level-E emerged.

Wait...

_All you have to do is remember, Yuuki_

She started to scream, shaking the walls.

No! I am sure, I am sure Kaname will save me - He will...

_What is he going to do? What if he has forgotten you? You are a mare plaything in his eyes, or have you forgotten? Have you not seen it? He is a monster._

Shut up, Shut up!

_Remember, remember..._

Her screams were still heard as everything crumbled.

Yuuki woke up.

The senses come back slowly, still paralyzed by the images she has seen.

When she closes her eyes, she still can see it all again.

Hear all the screams.

☾ 

Uncle Kurosu sits on his favourite chair in the living as she came in, seeing Zero read something - Is he scorning?

,, Ah, Yuuki-chan, there you are! We have something to discuss today, my dear, come, come’’,

She will never admit it out loud, but something about him, about this much older man, confuses her deeply nowadays.

Maybe he is like her, playing an act, wearing a mask for show.

And it terrifies Yuuki that this man who adopted her, who cares for her, who loves her - She does not know him, does she?

Yuuki smiled up at him, but all she wants to do is to leave.

Her arms are itchy.

,, Sit down, sit down’’, so she does as he asks sitting down next to Zero, looking over the papers he held.

,,Ku…ro…su… Academy ?’’

A shared look between the children.

,, Why in the hell…’’, the longer the boy is here, the more he begins to swear, Yuuki believes.

He is coming out of his shell, huh?

,, Are we to attend this Academy then?’’

,, Yes. I would like you two to go through a different school before you enrol in the Acadamy.’’

,, Ah? Really? And what would that be then?’’, Zero’s hands hold

the Papers firmer, preparing himself for the answer.

,, I would like you two to go through a Vampire Hunter training’’

,,Wh - Huh?’’, Yuuki’s eyes widen at the statement while Zero freezes up, sitting completely still.

Calmly Kuruso starts to explain what the Academy will naturally be, why the hunter training will be necessary.

,, You want Vampires and Humans to attend the same School? Are you _insane_?’’, Zero stands up, fully out of it. 

He is ready to destroy the buildings of the Nigh Class, with his own hands if he must.

The idea alone turns his blood into hellfire.

,, I won’t. I am not attending some stupid Academy with Vampires several kilometres away from me and other people! ’’

,, Please, Zero-kun….Do calm down. It is already decided. I have spoken with a particular Pureblood and the Senate already -’’,

Zero leaves the room with quick steps, closing the door with a loud _thud_.

,,Zero-kun!’’, Yuuki jumps to the door, hoping to get him but he is already nowhere in sight.

,, Ah….Can’t you talk with him, Yuuki? He listens to you much better - ‘’, Yuuki frowns, closing the door with a loud sigh.

,, Eh? He is not my dog. I would rather leave him be for a while, let him calm down. It's a sensitive topic after all….But Hunter training? Me as well?’’, she peers up from her lashes, not believing what is going on.

The whole situation seems so...bizarre.

,, Ah yes! Yes, since the school will be divided into two classes, we would need people who guard both species, so nothing bad happens, you see… I am playing with the idea of getting more hunter children in this school, my home has training grounds as well, but alas you two, who have an insight to this world, who know more…’’, she gulps at this, looking down to her feet.

,, Getting some professional training wouldn’t be a bad thing, now would it? You could defend yourself better when you are grown as well.’’, his tone becomes more serious in the end and Yuuki catches the meaning.

It is final, then.

,, Okay. Alright. So we will be training for….For until we are 15?’’

,, Yes, my dear. It is just like a normal middle school, so you will learn normal essentials with extra needed training. Your training will begin this summer, so in a few months - ‘’

,, Does -’’, she broke his speech, clutching both of her hands to her heart.

,, Does…..He knows?’’, he adjusted his glasses.

,, Yes. Kaname was the one suggesting it.’’

Yuuki smiled at this, trying to make it seem bright.

But it didn’t reach her eyes.

_Knock_

_Knock._

,,Zeroooo-kun? Ey, Zero-kun, are you okay?’’

,, Is it your hobby to annoy me?’’, Yuuki purses her lips.

,, It’s my hobby to look after you, you dummy’’, just as he comes out of his shell, she does as well.

She didn’t need to hide from him, she thinks.

She can smile and laugh with him.

Zero Kiryuu over the last month became an actual brother to her.

,, Can I open the door?’’, after a muffled,, Sure’’ comes from behind the door, she does as encouraged.

Zero lays on the bed, his head deep in the pillows.

,, There is a school for hunters?’’, she asks as she comes near the bed, sitting on the edge of it.

A muffled Hmm’ sound comes from him, giving her an answer.

His head turns to her side so that he could speak properly.

,, I was meant to go there this year but I didn’t know if….Ugh, well anyways, now I have my answer.’’

,, Isn’t that good?’’

,, I am not mad because of that, I am mad because this man is out of his mind! Thinking that vampires and humans can co-exist? That is just….He is just planting a bomb in the middle of all of this, waiting for it to explode! Don’t you see it, Yuuki?’’,

The girl stays silent, looking away from him.

Towards the window of this room.

,,….I am not really against it.’’, his head moves immediately back to where it was before. Deep into the pillow.

She expected him to scream, any second.

,, You have to be kidding. Please, tell me you are kidding’’, she bits on her lip, not ready to answer.

Stopping the words from becoming real.

After minutes of silence, she finds her voice again.

,, He wants us to guard the Academy. Which is why I am attending it with you, by the way. The Hunter training’’, at this she looks at him, surprised at seeing him, looking at her.

,, Guard..?’’, her throat comes dry as she saw his expression, assuming the worst.

,,…If something happens….As …as I understood, okay? During the night, we will guard the territory of all this, making sure humans are safe from vampires and that humans don’t find out what the Night Class is. Best if you ask Kurosu Oji-san about it.’’

,, Huh’’, his eyes changes, becoming thoughtful.

And all the while, her eyes don’t leave him, getting more and more worried about what’s to come.

In the end, Zero does say yes to all of this.

Which at first might sound surprising, but if Yuuki thinks about it a little bit, it makes sense.

A hunter needs its prey after all.

☾ 

By the fourth week, Yuuki grew worried, going back to the little girl she was, sitting by the window and waiting, waiting, waiting for ….Something to happen.

Someone to come and hug her.

She grew attached to the cold feeling he left upon her skin.

Her right forefinger starts to tap on the table, as she still looks outside, seeing how the winter left, welcoming the spring back into the world.

She has asked Kuruso if he might have said something and he promised her, that yes, soon, he might come back though he didn’t say when.

Leaving her restless.

Even if Spring is waking up again, the sun still sets too soon and kisses her skin exactly like the winter sun, leaving Yuuki in the evening light, of dark blues, purple and pink.

Then, a black car arrives.

She hops up from her seat, running towards the door.

The brown-haired girl sees someone else beside him, a blonde teenager, talking to him before both turned around to see her.

She beamed, a bigger, more open smiled than she had on for a long while.

,, Kaname!’’, the tiny feet of hers carry Yuuki to him.

The blonde-haired grins and waves Kaname goodbye, going back into the car.

But he c say nothing back as Yuuki crashes into his arms, demanding all of his attention to be at her and her alone.

He hugs her back, forgetting his friend.

And Yuuki smiles into his black coat.

She is sure, she would be angry at him.

Nevertheless, as he looks down, smiling at her, she forgets her anger, her spite.

The parasite that has been eating up at her since her talk about the Academy.

,, You should get back inside or you’ll catch a cold.’’, she holds him closer.

,, Hmm…’’, his hand caresses her head, dipping down to cup her chin, looking directly into her eyes.

,, I am not that warm, and it's only March. Let’s go back inside’’, she pouts up at him, dropping her arms, only to snatch both of his hands into her own, holding them tightly as she leads him into her home.

,, Good Evening, Kaname’’, she whispers, knowing fully well he has heard her loud and clear.

Zero and Kuruso, are in the gardens, working on vegetables and looking after the flowers since its spring, so they are not there to talk to them, leaving Kaname and Yuuki alone.

They were sitting in the living room, Yuuki leaning against him, while he strokes her hair.

,, Shall we dance today?’’, she glances up to him, tilting her head to the side.

,, Sure! Let’s!’’

They dance in the middle of the living room, with no music, Kaname leading her through the room.

Waltz.

He promised some years ago, to dance the Waltz with actual music someday, but each time they dance, he seemed to forget it.

,, Are you still practising your cello? Maybe someday you could play for me again.''

Snuggling a little more into his chest, her lips went up.

,, I am still playing, yes. Maybe someday''

It was 9th March and since her arrival here, Kaname always comes to visit on this particular day.

Always dancing.

She is in heaven, with her against his chest, lips touching the white cotton of his shirt.

Until a scream wakes her up from her slumber.

It was Zero.

He stands right behind Kaname now, and as Yuuki gazes down, she sees a knife piercing through the white shirt, staining it red.

He doesn’t back away as Kaname turns, taking the knife out of his back, blood dripping on the floor.

_Drip, drip, drip._

It’s deep -

_drip, drip._

She stares at the wound, the stain on the white.

_Horrified_.

Red.

,, Zero-kun! What are you doing?!’’, Kuruso comes running towards them, worry on his face.

,, Am I not welcome here, anymore, Kuruso-san?’’, his eyes never leave the younger boy before him, the butter-knife he must have taken from the kitchen before coming here, glittering with blood.

Kaname brings the knife up to his lips, licking a stripe of blood.

Zero’s eyes hardened.

,, What is….A vampire doing here?’’

No answer.

Kaname wipes the rest of the blood on his shirt.

,, Ah…Kaname, wait up, I am going to give you one of mine, is that alright?’’, the teenager doesn’t look up but nods.

,, I would be thankful’’,

,, Come Zero-kun - Come let me explain it to you? Let the two alone,’’

,, Leaving Yuuki alone with a Vampire, what kind of brilliant ideas do you have next? Let’s burn our house down next?’’, the voice becomes smaller and smaller, the door closing them both in the room.

_Huh_.

Yuuki doesn’t even hear the door open, she was so focused on Kaname - 

She gasps, quickly opening the shirt of his.

But the wound is already closed, only some of the blood sticking on his skin.

Seeing the worry growing on her face his hands shoot up to her shoulder, holding her firmly in place.

,, It’s alright, It’s alright. This won’t hurt me. I am alright’’

Her whole body starts to shake as he holds her closer.

He sits down at the edge of her bed, as she rests in the middle, her thumb loosely on her lips, feeling the flesh with her finger.

She does it sometimes, to control her nerves.

,, Are you alright, Yuuki?’’, she looks up, stopping the motion, putting both of her hands on her knees, resting her head on them.

,, I am…okay? I think.’’

,, Why are you in such distress?’’, she smiles up at him.

He will leave again.

She doesn’t know when she will see him again, and she is afraid to ask.

Confirmation is scary.

,, The thought of losing you…it…it ‘’distresses’’ me’’, the brown-haired boy averts from her, smiling at her usage of words, she probably doesn’t have the knowledge of yet.

,, I won’t leave you, as long as you want me around’’,

Yuuki Hmm’ed at that, feeling tears building up.

,, You know that I will be training with hunters soon?’’, his face becomes passive.

,, Yes. I agreed with Kuruso-san that you might need this education.’’

,, Why didn’t you ask me about it? Why do you….decide for me so often?’’, Yuuki buries her head inside of her knees.

,, Do you not want me to?’’

,, That’s not the point!’’

_Ah_.

She remembers why she was angry at him, now.

Maybe her overall emotional turmoil brings it back up again.

,, Can’t you try and discuss it with me? I know, I know I am only a child and you and Uncle Kuruso want the best for me but…’’,

_Why does it feel like you want to decide everything for me?_

She can’t say it but it was in the room all the same.

,, I …can try.’’

,, That’s all I ask. That’s...all I ask’’,

,, I wanted to give you this as well before I go'', he searches inside on his coat, bringing a small black box out.

,, What is it?'', the vampire opened his mouth, then closed it again.

,, A present'', he declared after a while.

She opens the box to find a plain metal rod in it.

It looks harmless enough, yet somehow -

She feels a shudder go down her spine.

,, You will learn more about it in your education.'', Yuuki simply nods, too mesmerised with the rod.

Kaname looks up at the clock on the wall, standing up.

,, Well, it is now my time to go. We will see each other soon then?’’

He strides to the door, but before he could open it, Yuuki was beside him, stopping him by holding his sleeve.

,, Wait. I still have one question to ask.’’

He turned around, looking down at her.

Waiting.

,, Who was the vampire who bit Zero?’’

☾ 

The accident took every effort Zero and Yuuki made on their relationship and set it aflame.

For several months, both didn’t talk to each other.

During graduation from elementary school.

And also when summer came.

Only the necessary words were exchanged between them.

Yuuki grew tired of the silence, trying to rebuild what she had with the white-haired boy, but the other didn’t let her in.

Not anymore.

Yuuki sighs, at the thought as she packs several new books in her bag.

Getting the small black box in her hand, she left her room.

,, Alright, Zero-kun, Yuuki-chan!’’, Kuruso chirps as both children moved outside to accompany him.

,, Ah, there they are. Yuuki-chan, Zero-kun. I would like you two to meet your new classmates!’’, his hands shot up to the directions of three other kids.

The kids stood a few metres away from them, all three in summer wear, some with bigger suitcases than Yuuki, one with a similar one -

Classmates -

,, Is that them?’’

,,Ohhh, a Kuruso, huh? Didn’t think- ‘’

,, Wait, wait, wait, waaaa - it. Is that….Oh my gosh, it’s Zero-chan!’’,

And as Yuuki peeps at the silver-haired boy, she never would have thought that Zero Kiryuu can get this sheet paperwhite before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!  
> Comments and questions about the story are always appreciated!!  
> ( FEED ME PWEASE)  
> If you see any mistakes PLEASE let me know, bc no beta, im die.  
> you can aso hit me up on the following sns, ask questions etc.etc  
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> 


	3. and then we blur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR AND OTHER CELEBRATIONS YOU MIGHT HAVE!!!!!!!  
> I will def reedit this chapter soon but as a gift you get this tonighte <3  
> Happy Celebrations to you all!

( Kaien Kuruso couldn’t sleep that night.

A Letter by the Hunter Association came, and before opening it, dread felt him.

Making him feel almost whole again.

,, Father?’’, the older man looks up to the door.

Ah. That is right.

It is midnight and the only thing that kept the living room he was in light up, was the the tiny candle on the table next to the Letter.

He wanted to burn it.

Yuuki, his adopted daughter, only 12, peeked by the door, watching the man who feeds and tucks her to bed ever since she could remember.

,, You seem so sad? Is everything alright?’’, the little girl walked into the room, standing next to the man.

,, Ah…Yuuki-chan, it isn’t okay for you to be up this late. Can’t sleep again?’’,

The dreams that keep the small one up…Sooner or later he would need to tell Kaname about it.

,, Hnh…..’’, Yuuki rubbed her eyes with both hands.

And then, she climbed into his lap, which is already full with several blankets.

,, It is okay, father. We are going to be alright. We will make everything work as long we are together, right?’’,

Oh, how far their relationship has come.

The former Hunter smiled despite feeling even worse now.

Dread.

His eyes skimmed over to the Letter again.

That demanded both Zero and Yuuki to get a Hunter’s licence, if he wanted to open the Academy.

Then, hunting or even guarding now, curse the President, cannot be done without a form of a Hunter’s licence.

If not, they might get the chance to arrest him for good, for hunting illegally in a hunter’s town…

Protecting Humans from Level - E’s and Nobles, from blood suckers, and for that his two children need to go back to the lion’s den?

Kaien Kuruso almost chuckled but kept it at bay, by stroking the hair of his small, cute daughter.

If he wanted to make this dream come true…

,, You are right, Yuuki-chan. We will.’’

He needed to talk to Kaname and talk him into it, first things in the morning.

And hope to any Gods that he might win this argument.)

,, Okay so’’, the brown-haired boy starts with a smile, while pointing at the whole group.

,, If cows ruled over the humans, would they drink human milk?’’, Yuuki almost trips.

No one else appears to find the question as weird and out of context as she does, everyone else just keeps walking forward.

She looks around, at Zero and the other two girls but not one says a word.

Until - 

,, What the hell is wrong with you, Jean.’’, the black-haired girl, who is taller than most of them, almost towering Zero questions, her face in a sickening grimace.

Her short hair is up in a Ponytail, not even reaching her shoulders in that hairstyle.

It is also the girl who made Zero look so paperwhite five minutes ago. 

Yuuki still didn’t ask if they are close friends…from before.

Before his life changed so drastically.

The other girl, the blonde foreign-looking one, puts right her index finger on her chin, tilting her head to the left.

,, Are you asking if by chance, another species takes over the human race, then we become cattle?’’, she is taller than Yuuki.

Yuuki still doesn’t speak, however, the same way Zero keeps his quiet. 

Both just observing the new group of people, their new class and for Zero colleges.

Yuuki’s heart feels dry, almost empty as she realises this.

She looks down to the ground, not looking at any of them, then she won’t be with them in the future, right?

Next time she blinks, they will have their own life, their future already built for them ...but Yuuki Kuruso?

The black sheep of the group.

The one who does not belong here - She knows why she is here, to learn to defend, for her _father,_ no matter if adopted or not, the longer she is with him, the longer he felt like the only real one to her.

Her heart beats faster.

thump, thump, thump.

Then her father lies. 

Her father is like her, a mask - 

Is it a flaw of being an adult, she wonders?

Yuuki lets her eyes swipe around the new group.

The taller girl, with her tender milk-white skin and silky, bob-cut black hair, with the air around her that seems like she commends and not the other way around.

A Force of nature.

The other two new schoolmates, make her worry the most.

The blonde girl has no suitcase or any bag indicating of a hunter weapon she carries along.

Only her school bag, a normal vintage-looking black briefcase school bag, that suits very much so to the uniform they are wearing.

A black on black set, with a black tennis skirt that goes to the knees, with a black blazer and white blouse shirt.

It suits the blonde girl like it was made especially for her and her only.

The brown-haired girl bit her lip, looking away anew.

She never felt this out of place before.

,, Exactly, mon Chéri. Exactly!’’, the brown-haired boy gives the blonde girl thumps up.

,, Ah, then well. Yes, of course? Aren’t we the next generation of hunters who try to make sure that humans won’t become cattle to a specific species?’’, 

The air becomes tense.

Nobody denies it.

,, Well, then we should thank our headmaster that they created the school. The less vampire scum the better.’’, the black-haired one puts both of her hands in the air, doing something that resembles stretching.

As if she didn’t just declare that vampires are scum.

As if she didn’t just insult - 

Yuuki gulps.

Zero looks up to the taller girl, searching for something.

The girl notices and lets her arms fall back, swinging them a little.

The summer air makes Yuuki sweat. 

It must be the summer air, right?

She opens a few buttons of her black uniform, looking down again.

The more she listened to the group, the worse it gets, the sweating.

It must be getting hotter since its only early in the morning and all of them wear black.

,, You are right.’’, Yuuki’s head swings to the voice of the boy, to the white-haired who still hasn’t looked away from the taller hunter in training.

,, We should concentrate on getting better so that we can get back to killing them off’’, the other one simply stares.

Opens her mouth.

Closes it again. 

Yuuki glances away from these two, feeling like she intervenes in something she doesn’t have the permission to be witnessing.

,, Yes. We will hunt them.’’

It’s like Zero hears something else as his eyes harden in the sunlight.

Yet in all the promises and oath making Yuuki’s mind waves away.

Back to the day Zero stabbed Kaname.

She never recognised how haunted he looked that day.

Never tried to care.

And not it eats her from the insides, like newborn black, parasites, eating her away.

Leaving her rotten.

( Zero stares at the black-haired as if haunted by a bad dream.

,, Why are you here?’’

She stared back while Yuuki observed it all with confusion swirling in her begging eyes for answers.

,, Did your brain shrink since we last saw each other, you goddamn idiot? I am just here to bring you to the headquarters.’’,

,, Uhm…’’, Yuuki looked at the three then back to Zero.

,, Ah’’, the white head, closed his eyes as if in prayer to some gods for some peace.

,, This is an old friend of mine, from before…the accident. Tsūretsu Ichimi is her name.’’ 

The smaller girl looked back to the older one.

She looked so….strong.

That is the only one that seemed to fit her whole aura.

Like an unbreakable wind.

What a fitting name.

The uniform complimented her short black hair that she wore in a ponytail.

The aura of a warrior, as ancient as time, noble of her posture.

,, Nice to meet you, I am Kuruso Yuuki’’, she bowed, to which the older one raised one fine-lined eyebrow.

,, Nice to meet you.’’, she bowed back however short that is.

The other two seemed foreign.

The boy, with his brown thick hair and his darker skin, smiled at her, offering her his hand.

She took it. 

It felt like stone.

,, Nice’ meeting you, new classmate Number. 1. I am Jean Abreo.’’, his Japanese was remarkable, even if Yuuki could point out a few mistakes. His accent is adorable.

She didn’t comment on it and simply smiled, shaking his rough hand.

, Kuruso Yuuki -’’,

,, Oh, yes I have heard! Kuruso has a daughter? That is news to me, actually -’’,

The other girl looked at their intervened hands and signed.

,, We have to go’’, 

Her blonde hair shined in the morning sun.

So many beautiful people, all divine and human.

( Not vampires, not _vampires_ -)

Yuuki felts a wall breaking apart, deep, deep buried inside her heart.

A genuine smile formed on her rosy lips.

,, And you are?’’, the blonde girl tilted her head. She seems to do this often.

,, Claire Du Bellay. Let’s go’’,

She was as beautiful as the morning sun but colder than any winter night Yuuki encountered or witnessed by her window watching.

Her skin suddenly started to sweat.

Huh?

Must be the morning sun shining down on her.

,, Alright then’’,

Both her and Zero took their belongings and started to march 

forward to the other three teenagers, a whining foster father just behind them.

Yuuki’s small tiny heart couldn’t bear it, so she turned around one last time, waving to the man.

,, Come back home soon, my dear children! I will miss you dearly with every second we are apart!’’

The brown-haired girl covered her mouth so that the man could see her sigh.

Of the overly big smile.

,, Of course! See you at 4 pm, Daddy!’’

,, Ah! You called me daddy -’’, a hand clasped her sleeve moving her away from the silhouette of her foster father.

,, Let’s go’’, upon hearing his raspy voice she looked up to Zero, mouth slightly open.

She couldn’t help but smile at him.

,, Hnh. Let’s’’, )

☾

The smile left her as soon as it was on her face, eroded away from her worries and overthinking.

The first day of her new ‘’School’’ was interesting, to say the least.

The headquarters as Tsūretsu calls it, was the building where every hunter in the region meets up.

She even met the headmaster of hunters, his white long beautiful hair and Yukata blooming and taking up every attention in the room, as if he demands it only for himself.

,, Oh? Kuruso has a daughter?’’, Yuuki tilts her head at that, feeling grim about the new attention.

Is the name this….Important?

The other brown-haired boy mentioned the name several times already, wondering when the Kuruso brought a daughter along in this would.

,, Oh yeah, headmaster, is this why Kuruso-san retired?’’, and thus comes the chaos.

It just waited for the cue to explode in her face.

,, Huh?’’, she turns to Zero, her eyes widening with realisation.

,, What does he….-’’, the silver-haired boy simply blinks.

,, Oh, haven’t you heard?’’, she will punch him after this whole fiasco, all the silent treatment between them forgotten.

,, Kuruso is a legendary vampire hunter, for almost….200 years I believe’’,

She never thought chocking on her spit is possible, but here she is.

Coughing up and pointing at the person who revealed the news to her.

She has lived with a vampire hunter…..He is over 200 years old?!

,, How is that possible?’’, again she stares at Zero, who merely shrugs.

,, Vampire hunters are not just normal humans per se. Which is why we have Vampire Clans as well. Our genetics are…different. We are all stronger, faster and live longer than humans. Some Clans live even longer than average, giving them titles like ''The vampire who hunts vampires''. Some are much stronger than average vampire hunters or faster - You get the drill.’’, She does, but it still makes her mouth gape and stares at the boy.

Why didn't Kuruso taught her that when they were learning about vampire hunters…?

It is like he doesn’t want her to know something.

That certain something that she now knows.

She signs looking at her other classmates.

Zero sits beside her so they share a look for a second until her eyes wander around the class to the other two teenagers.

The two are enjoying the exposure, Jean even asking how she didn't know _that._

_,,_ Kuruso is legendary. Even outside of Japan. It was pretty depressing when he retired...'', the teenager breathes, looking away from her and back to the blackboard.

Claire….Claire…..She will need to practice that name.

Jean is somehow easy for her as if his personality.

Tsūretsu went to her actual class after showing them around, leaving them in this class.

They are all alone, silently waiting for someone to release them from this awkward atmosphere.

The headmaster did not do that, only made Yuuki’s life a lot more…. questionable.

Her plate of questions is full enough already, but no one seems to see nor care, it seems.

Questions build up inside her mind, that desperately grabbed her throat, asking for answers, answers, _answers_.

Her curiosity didn’t withdraw from her and continue to live outside her childhood days.

She closes the door to the questions, noting to exploring that later on.

Yuuki raises her hand, which causes Zero to look up to her again.

He was talking to Jean, she notices now.

,, What is it, Kuruso-san?’’, she smiles at that, even if it is notable how awkward and weirdly it suits her face.

,, Where is the library?’’, she wants to read something, to quench her thirst for answers with letters written on old papers.

That habit and method of calming down developed after reading for so long with two specific people over time.

,, Ah’’, a fan covers the milky skin of the headmaster, showing the painted and sharp nails. 

Its colour is a dark purpler, which suited the deeper magenta Yukata he is wearing.

He is so - Beautiful.

,, I can show it to you, after your first training session of course.’’

,, Traning….?’’, he smiles, while the other three students just signed and leaned more into their seats.

,, Yes. Parkour training’’,

Zero groans into his hands.

Probably the first time, she sees him do that.

It can’t be that bad.

It is worse.

Far, far worse.

By the end of the parkour session Yuuki is sweating on body parts she didn’t even know can produce sweat.

Never in her life did she feel this gross to be in her body.

,, Wanna shower it off?’’, her breath comes in huff’s but she still turns around to the blonde girl beside her who barely shows any signs of exhaustion.

Probably because she is trained for this and Yuuki is doing it all for...For what? An Acadamy her foster father will open.

The brown-haired girl nods to her, to which the blonde takes her hand and leads her to the shower rooms for the girls.

She doesn't have the strength to go to the library of the building afterwards but memorised the path that leads to it, secretly hoping someone else could bring her there tomorrow as well.

Coming back home, her foster father greets her with a smile and a table full of food.

She ignores all of that, going straight to him, pointing at his head, his airy smile.

,, You…are a vampire hunter? And how old are you actually?’’,

No, ' I am back' or 'It’s good to be home' - Just straight to the point.

The smile, that wonderful and big smile on his lips dies as fast as her questions shoot at him. 

There was silence until Zero sits down to the table, stretching his arms and back for a second before saying in a very tired voice - 

,, We are back home, sensei’’, he teams up with her this time, didn’t he?

Maybe no punching for him after he did not tell her about Kaien Kuruso being a Hunter, then.

And the last sprinkle of hope in Kuruso's golden eyes dies off as well.

He signs rubbing his forehead as he closes his lids.

,, I knew this day would come….Should’ve expected it today of all things…’’, why does his smile appear so sad to her? 

Yuuki does not know, does not want to know - but she will and she will live with the truth.

,, I’ am a retired vampire hunter for at least 14 years now.’’, Yuuki frowns

Almost as much as

...

,, Why did you…retire, father?’’, both of them move to the table sitting down.

She always sits next to Zero but this time, she sways to the older man, looking up to him.

And he returns the look, his orbs are as clear as a cloudless sky.

,, Because a dear friend of mine asked for it.’’, she repeats the sentence silently, tilting her head to the right.

,, Where is the friend now?’’, he looks away, but his smile, his sad, deep smile remains.

It hurt her heart, bleeding her out.

,, Oh, dear Yuuki-chan….She is dead.’’, she does not ask any questions after that, gulping to the table full of food.

Didn’t look at Zero’s deep frown.

The food looked so delicious and marvellous.

Sadly, she lost all her appetite.

☾

(,, Say, Kaname'', she was eight at the time, only a small, small child with a book about vampires in her hands and a monster right next to her, sitting, behaving human when he could snap her neck and squeeze her guts for the hell of it.

She loves him all the more, in her childish mind, her prince with blood on his hands.

,, Yes?'', they were studying more about vampires today, specifically about the senate. 

,, How do you know Kuruso-san?'', she darted her sight to the vampire, who didn't seem to notice.

Or pretended to.

,, Ah'', his attention belonged to the pages of the book he brought along.

,, He is a friend of my parents'', )

The days' morphe into one as she and Zero began to go to their new school.

The worst of all was the training, that seems to get harder with each day.

First was the parkour, then the introduction of martial arts.

Her first pick was _Krav Maga_ with Zero, which her body cries at her, ever since she made the decision.

Neither talked to their other two classmates as much.

After several weeks of body training and other normal subjects came new subjects none of them had before. 

Officially at least, then Yuuki was sure the other three had private lessons for this. 

In the past few weeks, Yuuki found out that her other two classmates are exchange students.

Sadly, she couldn't find out for how long.

,, Ah’’, Zero views at the time table, his thumb on his under the lip.

,, We will train with our weapons’’, Yuuki looks to her right, where he sits next to her.

,, Really? So then..’’, she picks up her small black case with the rod in it, yet not opening it at all.

Just going through with the fingers along the surface of the black box.

,, Oh yeah, who gave you the weapon?’’, the brown-haired girl opens her mouth, only to close it again.

She can’t say it to him - Not the truth of it all.

He won’t like it and not when they just started to get along with him again.

( You have been so lonely, haven’t you?)

,, Kuruso-Oji-san….Gave it to me.’’, she bits her lip, looking down to the black box.

Getting both of her hands away from it. 

Away from the lies, she will have to create, to hold.

Maybe Kaname didn't realise what kind of weapon he gift her.

Then Yuuki is sure that this black suitcase was her own Pandora's box.

,, Ah…Makes sense, does it? He is a hunter after all.’’

,, Okay...Why do you know it?’’, they both share a look, his lavender eyes shining with mischief.

, Ah, well. He often visited me with my _Shishou_ ’’, 

,, You had a _Shishou_..?’’, he turns away from her to the foreign other kids who talked in their mother tongue, several seats away from them.

,,Yeah. He is currently away but will come back soon. He is also the Master of Ichimi ’’, Yuuki responds with a Hmm' to all of his explanation.

No wonder they know each other…They share a master.

Didn’t the black-haired older hunter girl mention a _Shishou_ when they first met?

She can’t really remember.

Her memories often get blurry most of the time, so this particular memory gets drowned under every other one in her mind.

Swimming in the ocean of the subconscious.

The door slams open, and a woman strides with her long legs in black jeans and boots, in a slow and precise pace into the classroom, making all four students go silent.

The blonde girl and brown boy suddenly smile, a recognition forming on their face.

,, Maîtresse!’’, Jean practically jumps the woman if the blonde next to him does not hold the boy back in his seat.

,, Silent. Let’s go straight to the point. All of you, get your weapons out.’’, all four of them did as they are told to.

Yuuki opens the black small suitcase, the rod glimmering in the poor light of the lamps and candles in the classroom.

Taking all the light, as if absorbing it.

Just what did Kaname give her…?

The 13- Year old took the weapon out, observing it. 

Swirling it around, turning it from one end to the other.

Just a normal rod -

,,Oh? Do you have to activate it, Kuruso?’’, Yuuki glances up, her auburn eyes wide.

The teacher, who still have to introduce herself, was all of a sudden in front of her.

Furthermore, she took the weapon from her as if it belongs to her and not Yuuki - 

She must have clicked something because the rod grows from a small pretty thing into a stab.

,, Ah. A beauty. Treat it well, Kuruso. Get to know it.’’, the teacher let the stab fall back into her hands and Yuuki simply stares at the now longer weapon with wonder and glee in her grasp.

The new teacher turns to the board, taking a chalk to write on it.

Writing her name as an introduction. 

,, Name’s Ichika Plantier. I am the weapon master of this place. And as this guy here just friendly shouted -’’ the chalk in her hand now points at Jean.

,, I am also the master of the two. I am half French. So sometimes I do have more to do in France, sometimes here.’’, her black hair shimmered in the light, just like her stab. 

It glows blue, just like the night sky, with the grey coloured eyes which are the moons and stars.

Ichika Plantier is a canvas of the night.

Yuuki falls in love.

,, Anyways, no time for my life story. Today, you will get to know your weapons - And you will name them.’’, the brown-haired girl notices the hunter uniform she is wearing.

,, Are you going out today, sensei..?’’, Ichika- Sensei looks up at her again, considering her new student.

,, Going away on a mission with the upper class.’’, all four of them nod, knowing that someday they too, will have to go on missions.

Not solo of course. 

These can only come much, much later.

,, What are you all sleeping for? Didn’t I give you a task?’’, even if she is calmly talking, Yuuki still feels the power and threat.

She doesn’t need to shout to make her point across.

Her stab, appears rough in her hands, like metal that got used too much. 

Yet it still holds Power.

Sharp, silver and _mighty_.

She looks up again, to her new teacher and the other students.

The blonde girl stands and has butterfly swords in her hands, swirling them slowly around while the brown-haired boy plays with his rifle.

Then her eyes moved to the teacher.

To her imagine of Plantier-Sensei with the night and the two moons.

Moons….

,, Artemis.’’, 

,, Hn?’’, Zero shifts to her, a gun in his hand.

Yuuki doesn’t notice when he pulls his weapon out but seeing it in his hands -

It seems heavy.

They will kill with the weapons in their hands.

(Naming their _murder_ , making it sound _pretty_.)

Kill vampires …former humans.

Dread spread, creeping, growing inside of her. 

,, I just said…I will name it Artemis.’’

,, Oh? Makes sense, you did read that book about mythology again, didn’t you?’’, Yuuki grins at him, despite feeling like falling down and never coming up again to the world.

,, Yeah. The goddess of the moon and the hunt’’, upon the last part, the silver-haired freezes up, staring up at the girl beside him.

,, What is it?’’, his staring doesn’t stop, it intensifies.

,, Nothing. Just started to open my eyes a bit, I think’’, she smiles at that, however empty she actually feels.

( They made up after their first week in their middle school.

They sat alone during dinner, Kuruso-san was busy with the dishes as both of them just waited.

For something to happen.

They just didn't want to name it just yet.

( Forgiveness? Acceptance? )

,, Hey...did you do the homework already?''

Zero's lips twitched, his hand coming up to his chin as his orbs started to wander around the room.

Never once stopping on her.

,, Not yet'', 

How could she tell that she just wants to go back before the attack during that one day?

Without sounding whiny and weird?

How?

,,Ah...Should we do it together?'', they stop at her then.

And really look.

Lavender meets uncertainty.

Meets a begging auburn.

,, Sure. But first you gotta shower, you practically ooze sweat after today's practice'', Yuuki's gasped, her eyes widen as her heart swelled with relief.

,, And you think you are different?!'', she punched him on the shoulder.

,, You punch like a baby.'',

Yuuki's eyebrows twitched.

She punched him again, this time throwing him off the chair.

And Kaien Kuruso held his laughter at bay, as he hears the reconnection of his children, smiling to himself. )

☾

They learned about Vampires today.

She knows all about it, yet hearing it from other people, from humans - From people without the fangs that she once touched -

,, The Level A’s are the worst of them all. They are the ones who can transform humans into Level E’s.’’, Her air was robbed from her - To hear it in this vile way, to believe that it can be described this way - 

(It is so easy isn’t it?)

,, They are to put it simply, the ones who are giving us our job. Hunting Level E’s and them creating it. It’s a circle. Of course, the circle can be stopped quite easily, but because of a certain contract, this might be impossible’’, Yuuki’s mind knows what the teacher is saying.

Their History teacher was a middle-aged retired hunter, who comes to the headquarters to teach the children.

Kimura Ito.

She must ask about him someday - The man who made her sleeping a bit impossible due to his wording and bias against vampires.

Yuuki doens’t want to believe it. 

Something inside of her refuses, rebelled against the thought of all vampires being evil.

While the other side of her screams.

She stands up from her bed, her pyjama a bit rustled and all other the place.

She goes to her private bathroom, turning the lights on to look at herself.

Was she ..Crying?

She doesn’t remember her dreams or even falling asleep, so why was she crying?

She looked down her long brown hair, falling from her half-made braid.

It is almost open again.

Both of her hands hold the edges of the white sink.

The visions start to swim - Maybe she stood up to fast? No…No, it almost feels like - 

She starts to run the water, wanting to wash her face, to cool herself down. 

Without looking at it, she closes her eyes, cooling her face and mind.

But as she opened them again, got a better look at the water on her hands, her breath stocked.

It was blood.

Blood was on her hands.

Slowly, while holding her breath she looked up.

Her whole face was dripping with thick, dark blood. 

Yet she couldn't scream.

As if someone stole her voice, scratched the throat bloody until her voice was no more.

She only gawks at her mirror image, as if in trance.

It could have been hours or seconds before she blinked again - 

Time was not her friend anymore. 

The hand on her shoulder was not there - But it felt so real.

_Sorealsorealsoreal._

,, If….One vampire….Wants you’’, the hand on her throat wasn’t real.

Not real, real.

Real.

,, Then why shouldn’t…he want to suck you dry…who are you…to deny him that?’’, both hands close up her throat, stopping her air floor, she lost, to begin with.

,, Why won’t you die, giving him his blood?’’, 

Nothing was real, not the smile in their voice, not the shape of a lady behind her.

Yuuki opens her eyes, with a slower pace, covering them with her left hand.

Then nausea arrives.

The feet carry her to the bathroom so that she can throw up to all the dinner she had several hours ago with Kuruso and Zero.

Kuruso-san’s voice comes back to her mind, reminding her of the breathing technique whenever she felt bad or had a bad dream.

She had a lot of those when she was younger, so he started to teach her several ones until one stick.

,, One….Two’’, one long breath in, and after three seconds out.

And that for several seconds until she feels calmer.

Better.

Yuuki stood up from the toilet, looking away from it.

She presses the switch so it all went away.

If only she can do the same with her nightmares.

The mirror, it is right behind her.

She is afraid to look at it now, the images of her nightmares flashing up every time she closes her eyes.

Yet her body, her very own mind betrays her as it still turns around to look at it.

Out of curiosity? Out of the feeling of danger?

Paranoia?

But only her normal body image was to be seen. 

Her braid was totally …ugly.

She paced to the mirror until her face is only a few centimetres away from the mirror.

She appears so calm.

So eery calm even if a storm grieved and wailed, her face did not show it at all.

Yuuki touches the hair, that was now longer than it was for a long while.

Since when did she become so…. dull? So melancholic?

She doesn’t remember.

She fully opens her braid, letting her hair surround her body like a blanket, a shield.

Her nightmare revisits her.

To the hands. 

To the lady whom the hands belonged to.

The hands who stole her nights and mind.

Yuuki exposes one of her shelves under the mirror, taking silver scissors out.

And she begins to cut, cut, cut.

_Snap_.

,, What did you do?’’, is the first thing she hears as she opens her bedroom door.

Zero comes down the stairs until he sees her and in which state her hair was.

,, Ah….I wanted a new look?’’’, a smile, small and innocent.

She couldn't fall back to sleep after she started to cut her hair.

She didn’t even understand what she did. 

But she couldn’t stop until it was short. 

Bearly laying on her shoulder.

,, In the middle of the night….?’’,

,, Ah, Yuuki-chan! Do you wanna visit a hairdresser today? I will gladly bring you to one after school! You did look wonderful and so cute when you were younger with shorter hair, you always look cute, don’t you, my dear Yuuki-chan?’’, two hands touch her shoulder, making her freeze up, stopping her breath.

( Bad, monster, bad, bad _badbadbadb_ -)

She smiles up at him and if he noticed her small mishap, he doesn’t comment on it.

,, Of course, Father!’’, and so, the scandal of her sudden hair problem stops being so big in the house of the Kuruso.

If only for a little while.

☾

It was October. 

Kaname visits her again.

Yuuki was so focused on her studies that she didn’t notice his absence until it was mentioned.

Until he quenches her thirst of seeing him by appearing on the front lawn of the house.

,, Yuuki-chan! Kaname is here!’’, she looks up from her seat on the living room, Artemis in her hand.

She drops the weapon out of the tumult of emotion that suddenly go through her. 

,, Oh!’’, she kneels, getting the stab to the form of a rod again and with fast motions, she put it back inside the suitcase.

Zero isn’t here again - He rarely is when Kaname visits.

It is like he gets the note of his appearance before her, so he can go to the headquarters to train with his ''Bloody Rose''.

The gun was already named from his Master, and he did not want to change it.

The silver gun who can kill a vampire instantly with one shot if aimed right.

It was the perfect weapon for him - His _Shishou_ did chose right when he got him the weapon, Yuuki muses as she dresses up with a warmer coat to greet the vampire outside.

Opening the door, however, she is greeted not only by Kaname but by the blonde she has seen not so long ago.

Yet even his presence couldn’t stop her racing heart as she saw the now older looking teenager.

Why is he getting more Beautiful?

( To lure you in, to get you killed -)

She beams up at him, going into his open arms, to let their hearts beat the same rhythm, to dance hand in hand, in parts.

She grew a bit taller, so her heart was only a little bit lower than his.

Even if she can already see that his growth spurt didn’t stop just yet.

She sighs into his black coat.

,, Did you cut your hair?’’, his hand came up to his now shorter brown hair.

,, Ah…Yes. Do I look bad?’’, her head moved from his clothes, to look up at him. 

He smiles.

,, No. But why did you do it?’’, her smile seems wrong now.

It grows ice.

,, I….’’, why - 

,, Hn….’’, she looks away from him, to the side - 

To the blonde guy who smiles at them both.

,,Ah! I am very sorry. I am Kuruso Yuuki-san. And you are…?’’,

(A bad - )

The blonde one smiles up at her, not noticing the icing glare Kaname throws at him - As if he can’t believe he dares to look at Yuuki.

,,I am Ichijo Takumi! I am a dear friend of Kaname here.’’, 

,, Don’t you have to go, Ichijo?’’, even with the voice he is talked to, a voice Yuuki guesses made other vampires fear for their very life - 

Takumi Ichijo continues to smile to the other vampire as if the two just shared a funny inside joke.

,, Ah yeah, I will go. We will see each other in a few hours, yeah Kaname? Goodbye, Yuuki!’’, he waves her goodbye, going back to the black car.

Before she can continue to follow his steps her face was being pressed into his chest again, his scent overflowing her senses.

,, How are you, Yuuki?’’, Yuuki closes her eyes, burrowing her head further into him.

His gloved hand starts to stroke her now short hair.

Why can’t she lie to him?

Why?

,, I don’t know - I don’t know at all’’,

Inside they went straight to her room, Yuuki laying on her bed while Kaname looks at her bookshelf, noticing the black suitcase on the table - 

And not giving any comment on it.

,, Thanks for the glass of water’’, his voice abrupts the silence in the room, making her look upon him, drinking the transparent liquid.

,, On Friday, we learned that vampires drink on instinct. Is that true?’’, his eyes, wine-coloured and sharp follow her every move.

Every small move even her fingertips, that are grazing her blanket.

He follows it all.

And she knows it.

As she follows his own.

,, Yes.’’, he puts the glass on her table again, right next to the box with her hunter weapon.

Maybe to remember them both, what she might do someday.

Have to do if she had the chance.

And that he allowed it, recommended it even.

,, Which is why Level- E’s are so dangerous, They are trapped in their instinct to drink’’, another nod from the pureblood vampire.

She might get an A on this topic.

At least the slight smile on his lips seem to say that to her.

The brown-haired girl abruptly stood up from her bed, sitting on the edge on it.

,, Do you drink, Kaname?’’, it is like she became the _Yukki- Onna_ , freezing him in a blizzard.

Stopping every movement, his face becoming a blank canvas - White, to be painted.

Or it was painted but she just can’t see it.

He didn’t let her see the storm inside of him.

,, I did drink water seconds ago, didn’t I - ‘’

,, I mean blood.’’, she stands up, going right up, in front of him.

They share a look, his wine-coloured eyes turning to stone while hers tries to see him.

The real him.

She barely asks about him.

Sometimes it was like, he was only here to see her - Like she was a zoo animal.

Ready to be slain for a feast.

She breaks the eye contact, opening the black suitcase.

He still doesn't speak.

Inside it, was her Artemis. 

And a small blade from her _Sensei_ \- Another hunter weapon, she thought might suit her, after her Sensei observed her training with her weapon.

She picks the small knife up.

Doesn’t hear nor see the effect it had on Kaname as she presses the sharp edge of it to her arm, creating a long line that dwells red.

Bubbling, dark red blood drips from the wound.

Still, she hasn’t gazed up at him as she tries to ignore the pain it evokes and put her arm above the glass, letting her blood go inside the glass.

,, Will you drink my blood ?’’, finally, as if it felt like ages she looked up.

Only to be met with glowing red eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!  
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> 
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	4. give in, to descruction

Yuuki watches the cold water run into the sink.

Touches the cold with those fragile-looking fingers, until she scoops some of it into her hands to wash her sweaty face, waking her up.

Today’s lesson was quite harder than before.

Her legs can’t hardly lift her entire body, making them shake and feel all weak and like gelatine.

That little girl sighs, splashing another handful of water on her heated face.

It must happen.

She tries to motivate herself since it has been getting hard.

She must survive and live, her whole being thirsts for it.

For whatever reason.

So she must become a hunter to fight against those beasts who can snap her neck with a snap of their fingers.

So she welcomes the blue colour upon her skin, the exhaustion becoming her new lover.

It has to happen.

(The blood dripped from her arm into the glass.

She barely noticed the pain.

Everything was so cloudy.

She felt like she wasn’t even in the room anymore.

She left her body as soon as she stood up from her bed.

Drip.

Drop.

The red glowing eyes, following the silky movement of the red liquid consuming it all, the room becoming quiet.

The only thing that Yuuki could feel, could be right now, in this very moment, is a prey.

And he was the hunter.

Her comfort, the very being who saved her so many years ago.

Looked at his food. )

Sensei’s sword perries against her stab, making her crash against the wall behind her.

She gasps, spitting out some spit while sliding off on the blue matt.

,, Watch my moves, Kuruso. Watch them and do not flee them’’,

Yuuki wipes the spit out of her chin, standing up again.

,, Yes, Sensei’’, clasping the weapon in her hand, she focuses on her target, on her Master, and strikes.

(It was like something caged her in a trance.

As if, for a moment, she was back in her dreams, falling and falling.

His hand shots up, gripping hers.

Then as soon as his hand touched hers, she woke up, like she often does from nightmares.

Her sight became clearer again, not as blurry as it was before, and she looked down to the blood dripping to his skin.

Realising what exactly she was doing, what she was offering.

Was she going completely mad?

,, Why would you offer that, Yuuki? You don’t have to do this.’’, despite his words, the glowing eyes, they never leave.

It does not matter if it is in her dreams, or in reality; they do not leave.

She felt her cheeks heat, becoming redder and redder, looking away from him, her face completely hidden from his.

,, I… I do not know why I did this. What…. Suddenly…. I….? I don’t know. I am so sorry. Please do not be mad.’’, the grip on her became stronger, clearer.

Meaningful to the point, it may say that she should just stop talking.

So she stopped, yet still not daring to look at him.

The shame overcame her, not wanting him to see her at all.

She wanted to disappear.

He let go of her. )

She can’t feel her fingers anymore and her thighs hurt.

And Yuuki thought she would get used to this training.

But every time, she thought it might come to be true, finally, she will get used to their training routine, their Sensei with whom they train, gets a new tactic up their sleeve to make their live and experience different and a long-living hell.

Somehow, all four students love Plantier-Sensei, anyway.

Must be the head pats.

(,, Do you want to be a vampire? You know what happens when I would bite you, don’t you?’’; the whisper filled the room with gloom.

Sometimes, Yuuki believed that whenever Kaname went, so did the loneliness and sadness that danced in circles all around him.

It simply overbears the room with the suffocating feeling of those emotions whenever he is near.

And sometimes, sometimes, Yuuki Kuruso believed only she can see it.

It is like he is allowing her to see it - Daring her to.

Challenging her and her alone.

Provoking her to see and react and do something about it.

As he did right now.

Only she couldn’t see it anymore.

Her sight, it coloured everything in her shame.

,, I…..I….’’, the blood that oozed out of her right arm continued to drizzle out of her.

It hit the black wooden table; the colour looking much darker on the surface.

Did she want to become a vampire?

It filled her mind with monsters that haunt her dreams.

The voice that never, never leaves.

( _Doyoudoyoudoyoudoyou_? Get turned and become a beast alongside the one who is the beginning of your life? Do you want to finally _f a l l_? )

Both stop speaking.

Kaname looked down.

Yuuki’s eyes wandered as well, to his unreadable face, the way the red seemed to lighten up.

Her eyes wander further down to his full lips as those parted, revealing the two sharp fangs.

Those lips of his looked so dry.

He licked them, showing his tongue.

And as she saw it, standing right in front of him, she felt it.

That weird feeling coursing through her veins.

Yuuki immediately looked to the right, not wanting to see any more of that.

Maybe it was a mistake, maybe she shouldn’t have -

,,Are you scared, Yuuki?’’,

He could smell it on her.

The fear. )

Zero is packing his weapon into his silver shining suitcase as she comes up to him, standing right beside him.

,,You finished?’’,

HIm and Jean trained more together, since they both are lovers of guns, hence they worked out alongside each other more.

,,Hn. Jean wanted to invite us to some cafe in town. Wanna come?’’, Yuuki smiles.

,,Yeah, let’s go! But I just gotta get my bag from the class, yeah? You two will wait for me?’’, The silver-haired teenager shares a glance with her.

,,Yup’’, he let the ‘’P’’, pop, putting his bag over his shoulder.

,,We’ll wait in front of the gate of you. Givin’ you only five minutes though’’,

,,Ey, not fair! The classrooms are like, by the end of this building!’’

,,Shush, Shush then, rabbit, run, run’’,

She runs.

( It froze her.

The fear.

The memories coming up again.

Kaname’s eyes, those eyes that will always remind her of his identity, of his being.

Oh, how scared she was.

She could barely attempt to breathe.

But she always felt like she belongs.

Belongs right here, in front of him, sharing with him.

As if it was meant to be.

( …..G - onn .- be l i k e - )

,, I am ‘’, she cannot lie to him.

And the glowing red disappeared.

He closed his eyes, breathing in and out once.

Opening them again just to hold the eye contact.

Not breaking.

Never breaking.

,,….I am sorry. I will not do it again. I am really….really… sorry for doing that. I don’t even remember what I was thinking, I probably _wasn’t,_ And - ’’

And she was so ashamed, so out of control.

Why did she do this? As if he, a Pureblood, would ever want her blood, would ever ask her of this - they are truly, world, universes apart. It made her cheeks glow with shame.

He was royalty.

And she just a little human girl.

,,I could just erase your memories’’

,, What -? Please don’t! I don’t want to forget this.’’,

I don’t want to forget where we stand, what you and I are.

_Let this lesson be branded in my brain._

He said nothing, but this alone was answer enough.

He wouldn’t.

And she was glad for it.

,, I am really sorry - ‘’,

,, Please, stop apologising. I understand. I am not mad anymore.’’, she looked at him now, seeing the smile on his lips as he put his head on her head, patting her head with precise moves.

The wine coloured eyes of his, however; they were unreadable.

The room was quiet.

Silence he ruled.

And in her mind, the distance between them, she never truly felt -it built itself from the ground.

Oh maybe, it only became visible to her now, the reality breaking her fantasies and dreams.

She is just a human girl.

And he, he was a beast who could kill her if he so desired.

Only that he never did.

In his eyes, she could see only a glimpse of it sometimes.

The immense love he holds for her. )

(In the car, in his drive back to Takuma and the other vampires in the house he is supposed to call home, Kaname watched the landscape as they drove through it.

And when he looked down to his hand.

A small droplet of blood glimmers up to his eyes.

Taking over his senses yet again.

He brings his hand up to his lips, licking the blood away.

The car window next to him, the one he was watching the nature through so fondly -

_it cracked_. )

☾

The wound on her arm left a scar.

Her Sensei asked about it often, even today, as she caught her getting her bag before meeting up with the others.

She asks again.

,,Ah, it’s nothing! It’s really nothing’’,

Plantier’s hand was on her head, stroking her auburn locks.

,,If you say so, Kuruso. Have a good day.’’

Oh, it is definitely the head pats.

,,Thank you, you too Plantier- Sensei’’

It has been one year already since she learned with other hunters and she never felt so tired after coming home to her foster father, making both children food and everything in between.

Like asking questions.

Or already having the first Classes ready for the Private Kuruso Academy.

,,What?’’, especially Zero is not taking the news well.

,, I thought we guard the whole thing; you know which is why your own daughter is going to train, which is why she is getting a whole hunter _license_.’’, Kuruso nervously puts on a smile on his pale lips, putting his knife and fork down again.

,, I will look after everything in the first year while you two finish your middle school experience and then year you come here.’’,

,, You? Alone?’’, with the total fiasco happening, Yuuki stays silent, eating her food, watching them both argue.

As per usual.

,, Well, sometime I will ask some friends for help and then we shall see. But next year, you two will absolutely rock your job! Having a job while going to school, my children are truly amazing….How will you just adjust to the schedule?’’, the elder sighs as if caught in a dream.

,, Job? You make little sense; it is just a position in the school community, which is, as I suspect only allowed to hunters, approve.’’

,, Oh? Zero-kun you read the school book?’’

,, Of course I did. For a private school, it has not as many rules as I hoped it to have’’

The two continue to argue in the background.

Yuuki, however, frowns, her right brow shooting up.

,,Wait….. Fa-Father…….What do you mean exactly, adjusting? Wait, wait how much time will we have for sleep?’’, the man put his index finger to his under lip, his glasses not showing his eyes as he thinks about her question in silence.

,, I’d say proximately….. 4 to 5 hours of sleep each day?’’,

Bright red lips parts, her white teeth glimpsing up.

,, So we will look like zombies.’’, Zero nods, like most times, agreeing with her statements when she goes against their caretaker.

,, We shall be zombies’’,

,, Don’t be zombies, you don’t mean that!’’

,, We shall eat human flesh…. Zero-kun, we shall feed on flesh alone!’’, she stands up from her chair, her arms up, while she wiggles with her fingers.

,, I am going to hunt them, to feed this family.’’, he says this in such a calm, serious tone, Kuruso probably almost believes it.

With the face he is making, Yuuki really thinks he believes it when Zero said it.

How peculiar.

☾

( It was after her lessons about the spells hunters can use and for what they are useful for, that Yuuki went outside to take some fresh air.

Today, they were in a different location to study.

Although the main Hunter’ Headquarters are most of the time used, for a few weeks it changed to a warehouse a few streets away from it, the President saying, that a complex case currently taking them all by storm - So they need the full futility of the Church like Building.

Yuuki didn’t really mind, since the town they were living in is mostly lived by hunters, and so almost in every street is a warehouse or bunker made for them.

The brown-haired girl did not question why she is living in this town full of hunters - After all, her own foster father, as it turned out, is legendary in this society.

Yuuki sighed, sliding the door down, sitting on the ground.

She stared down at her hands, the scar on her thumb.

Moved it from left to right.

Remembers the accident and let her head burry in her knees and black skirt.

_,, Ah…_ I am so… so…!’’, she still did not remember why she did it.

Why? Why? Why?

A pang enthralled in her ears, shooting right through her heart.

And why did he not say yes?

Maybe he saw it just as her.

They were too different.

Worlds apart!

Or he did not want to make her a vampire.

,, I would make a terrible one….’’

,, Make what terrible?’’,

Yuuki’s head shot up from her knees, looking up to the black-haired girl in front of her.

,, Ah..?’’

,, You are…?’’

The black-haired girl snapped her fingers, trying to remember.

,, Ah ! Kuruso..Yuuki..?’’,, the smaller girl smiled.

,, Yes….And you are..? I am sorry, I forgot..’’; she got a small laugh as a response.

,, Is okay! I am Tsūretsu Ichimi. Call me Ichimi, it is okay with me. ’’

,, Tsūretsu-san…’’

,,… Yeah, not what I wanted it, but we’ll tickle it out of you someday. _Maaan_ , the people who work in Headquarters library always talk about you! You get any books whenever it is the knowledge of the old or the new world…’’.

The older girl chuckles again, and only now did Yuuki notice the cigarette between her fingers.

,, You smoke?’’,

,, Ah, don’t tell?’’, the brown-haired girl wasn’t sure if that was okay, nonetheless, she can keep a secret or two.

So she nodded.

,, So what are you doing here all alone? Are you having a break?’’, another nod as answer.

Ichimi scolled.

,, No fun with you. Bet Claire and Jean are much more fun than the daughter of _the_ vampire hunter’’,

,, You know them well?’’, the older student took a small inhale of the nicotine, before answering, letting the smoke leave her lungs first.

,, A bit. They are here for a few years until they graduate, then they leave again to their own country.’’,

But why would they…

Her brows go down in a frown.

,, Ah, I see what your face is doing. Our Countries are technically in a partnership. ‘Don’t ask me what that exactly means your old man knows more than me about it. Or my _Shishou_ ’’. Yuuki saw the hopeful glimmer that overtook her brown coloured eyes.

,, Where is he? Your _Shishou_?’’,

He was Zero’s too; she remembered as she uttered the question out loud.

,, Funnily enough in the country Claire and Jean are from. _Fenêtres Rouges_ e, we call it.’’,

Ah.

Yuuki knew about it.

Since the catastrophic War, the world is much smaller, making most countries shrink in size.

The French residence is now, only half of the size it was 2000 years ago.

Back in the old world, the hunters call it, the same way, the call this end result of the war between vampires and others, the new world.

( _War isn’t nice to anyone_ )

Normal humans do not remember any of it, the same way, they do not remember the existence of vampires.

,, A mission, he said. Well, now that I have my license, I probably just go along with him when he comes back.’’

License? Yuuki didn’t ask, only stared at the older girl.

,, What? Don’t you get along with your class?’’

,,Ah..’’, Yuuki faintly did not want to answer this one.

She likes to hang out with Zero when he is training with Jean, whose Japanese got better over the months but -

Claire is just…. cold.

Whenever she tried to be friendly, it is like it crumbles before it can reach the blonde girl.

,, I..try to, I guess?’’,

And it doesn’t matter, anyway.

Both students will leave after graduation.

,, Ah… Yuuki-chan? Can I call you that?’’, said girl nods, being used to the usage of her name.

,, Don’t be surprised at Claire’s icy demeanour. Her family…. She isn’t from a hunter’s family; it is just required for her to get a license. Her family is more….ah. I shouldn’t say it. Forget what I just said. ‘‘

Auburn eyes blink, frankly, not believing what she was hearing.

Never in a million years, would Yuuki think, that the older student is actually, a gossip.

,, Another secret?’’

,, If you don’t mind?’’, Yuuki smiled.

,, Sure’’

,, Jean’s family is working under Claire’s, though. Another secret, top secret number 3.’’,

,, For how long are you a student ….here, Tsūretsu-san?’’, as Yuuki asked, the girl was getting rid of her cigarette, throwing it on the ground to step on it, turning the fire out.

,, Hnn… Since I got my license a month ago, only a year. I am fourteen now, soon to be fifteen…When Shishou is back, he’ll probably send me to a human senior high school. Ugh’’, Ichimi stuck her tongue out, imitating a Pucking sound.

,, He must care for you then, wanting you to continue school.’’, the black-haired girl merely shrugged, walking up to be near to the smaller girl, sliding the door down so she could sit next to Yuuki.

,, I want to haunt _now_. It is nice to be normal, to watch the people we are protecting as they study but.. in the end, it isn’t my future. _Shishou_ probably would only do it, to torture me.’’, she covered her face with both of her hands, groaning to further proof of her point.

Her annoyance.

,, You really want to kill… vampires?’’, Yuuki could hear the other’ girl’s teeth gnashing, as if the question alone raised her anger up.

,, _Yes_. Each one of them - If I could, I would get rid of them all.’’,

Yuuki’s eyes blink, her heart beating faster.

Looking at the scar on her thumb.

,, Why are you..telling me all of this?’’, she truly was overwhelmed with all the information that got thundered into her head.

,, Hn… Your Aura probably? It is very nice, very trustworthy. I couldn’t help myself.’’, she put her left hand to her head, patting it softly.

Hunters, each one of them, have the ability, to sense other people’s Auras .

Kaien Kuruso told her, so many years ago, how it is easier for them to feel vampires this way.

Though nobody knows how they got the ability.

It is just natural.

,, Besides, you live with Zero-chan together, right? Tease him for me, okay? Ever since the Kiryū Accident, we did not talk, huh..’’, she let go of her hair, making Yuuki blink away from her thoughts.

,, Though Kaito will piss himself when I tell him…’’, Ichimi glanced up to the sky, smirking.

Yuuki didn’t ask, simply let the girl live her dream.

At least one of them could.

Yuuki did not much of the black-haired hunter after that talk. And as the months turn into a year, Ichimi Tsūretsu probably isn’t even there to talk to her about all her own classmates and the people in her life, at all. )

☾

Sometimes, when she has nothing to do, Yuuki thinks of Ichimi Tsūretsu.

She wonders if she is now with her _Shishou_ and this Kaito she talked about, almost a year ago.

The brunette tries not to think much of her, even when she can’t help it when her mind wanders.

Yuuki sits in her room, looking up from her open window.

Slowly, but surely new cars come to up her home, to Kuruso personally.

She is combing her now longer hair, almost coming down to her shoulders as a new car comes down to their parking lot.

Yuuki stops in her tracks, watching the family coming out of the black, long car.

Almost all of them are blondes, with striking blue eyes.

As blue as the clear sky.

All beside the driver who bows to the two other people and only comes back up when he sees the nod of the older blond man.

And the younger one, the one who seems to be in her age, whips his head to her window, watching the wind play with her cardigans.

,, Father, you didn’t tell me the head teacher has a daughter.’’

,, He has? I didn’t know that, how peculiar. Best to leave it alone, son.’’, the father’s tone is quite full of confusion.

Quite the opposite to the son.

,, It is okay father, right? It is a human girl. She can’t possibly hear us’’,

_But she can._

She can hear them both clearly as they continue to talk about her, about her caretaker, Kaien Kuruso, about the Private Academy that opens in a few months.

,, Well, if Kaname-sama says it is a good opportunity, I won’t say no.’’, the younger blonde shrugs in his velvet pastel blue west, that suits him so well, as if it was made for him in his white dress shirt with black trousers, wonderfully shimmering in the last sunlight, before the big star goes down.

,, When Kaname-sama says anything, we have to obey. Well, at least, it is a private Academy. ’’,

Yuuki can only see their blonde heads from her sitting position, so she moves further into the open, fully knowing that they might see her full appearance as well.

She should not do this.

Yet the talk about Kaname makes her so curious, she has to know who they are.

The elder of the two, the father she firmly believes, looks like he laughs full of joy and love to anyone he holds dear, so young and fresh.

Yuuki would even believe he is the older brother, if the other boy did not call him ‘‘Father’’, minutes ago.

Now, the younger blond looks like an angel.

Ethernal.

_Vampires_.

His largely sky-blue eyes are so deep, she might think she is flying inside of them, free in the open.

The vampire wears his hair with care as well, letting them getting put up and silky.

It suits him, Yuuki thinks.

The appearance of renaissance angel paintings.

Deep Blue meets auburn as he looks up to her again, meeting her curious eyes.

Yuuki’s eyes widen.

And so does his.

She doesn’t know why he was so in shock to see her, nor does she have the time to find out as she disappears back in the safety of her room, closing the windows.

,, Let us go, my son’’, said son blinks the shock away, looking away from her.

,, She….Looks familiar father.’’,

,, Let us get it other with.’’, the younger nods, firmly as he stands by his father’s side, going inside the soon-to-be office of Kuruso -

The Headmaster of the new academy.

Why did they think she would not hear them, however?

She wonders as she is finishing combing her hair and skin-care then closing the window, to go to bed.

Possibly, reading some book, even though the meaning of the sentences the younger blonde said about her, still haunts her mind.

It was a book of the old world, Yuuki thinks as she looks at the title and cover.

But today, romance novels do not keep her interest.

The brown-haired lets the book flop on her chest while she lies on her fluffy, white and pastel-coloured bed.

Thinking.

☾

Plantier-Sensei is getting more tense for several weeks now.

None can really say why or for what reasons she suddenly aims faster for their necks, their legs or hands to get their weapons fly many metres away from the students.

Until today.

Yuuki is chatting with a rather cheerful Jean who is recalling the time, his dad had to wrestle a Level- E and put a gun into their month to ‘’ mess up their brains’’ to save their family when, like a déjà vu, Plantier- Sensei comes to the classroom, slamming the door open.

All four teenagers, stop what they were doing, their eyes immediately going up to their trainer.

Their master, even if Zero would deny that, then he already has a much better Master, he doesn’t need a washup Version.

Yuuki loves to mimic this particular speech of his, at home to raise the mood up.

Usually turns into a small fight.

,, Kids, I will just lay it out for you.’’, all of them nod, not daring to speak when their teacher is in such a serious frame of mind.

,, You have a Mission together, as a team. The President confirmed and affirmed it. Your final exam, so to speak. If you get it done, you’ll have the hunter license.’’, Yuuki’s heart stops.

And another student jumps up, excitement spreading out of him.

,,And when is that? Dites-nous, Maîtresse!’’, he gets another lip twitch from the black-haired woman, her eyes glimmering with mischief.

_Well, I wouldn’t want to be in his position now._

,, In a month. They found a specific E’ Level we can defeat.’’,

,,You will accompany us?’’, the woman does not look at Zero as she answers him.

,, Yes, of course. I will do that as your guardian and teacher. Guide you and see if you have the guts to do it.’’

To kill, kill

_Kill_.

Yuuki gulps, playing with her fingers, not daring to speak a word to any of them.

She should know this by now.

They are trained to be killers, murders of humans who have lost their minds.

Even other people seem to practically smell her dilemma from a mile away.

Just a week ago, Plantier- Sensei told her, that what they are haunting aren’t humans anymore, they have lost their human parts, only leaving the animal, the feral side.

And Yuuki knows, dreams about it.

Even now, almost ten years ago, she dreams about it.

Because as much as she wants to let this night go, the night of the eventful day, it can’t let go of her.

Grips her throat every night until she chokes and survives, yet again.

The brown-haired girl swallows down her worries, looking up again to the other students, their excitement radiating even more light and warmth than the few lamps inside the room.

Even Claire, the girl who merely uses words or shows any emotions on her beautiful face, smiles, sparing some meaningful glances to her suitcase with her butterfly swords inside.

They were bred for this, made for this.

But then again -

After one year, so is Yuuki, isn’t she?

Her foster-father being the legendary vampire hunter - maybe she is meant for this as well.

Maybe.

,, Don’t get too excited, your training will be harder than before, stronger, and more intense.’’, the black-haired woman pierces Yuuki with a sharp glance, her blue, striking eyes becoming icicles.

_They will fall on me and strike me down._

,, Especially you, Yuuki. You will train a few more hours, if you can. You are still far too behind everyone.’’; it was like a dagger pierced through her tiny body, making her bleed ice.

Yuuki knows she meant this sentence out of worry, yet it still hurts to be the last one in the group, the one who may sabotage everything -

,, We will help. Don’t worry.’’, the honeyed voice that seems so pleasant in her ears, makes Yuuki turn to the only blonde in the class.

The other girl actually smiles at her.

,, We will make it. We still have - two weeks? And you are not that bad, at all. By the end, it will be easy.’’, the blonde girl puts both of her hands on the table, dancing with her fingers as if to calm her nerves.

,, We will finish this exam with flying colours.’’, at this Yuuki simply stares at the pretty girl who for the first time, talks to her first, as far as Yuuki can remember.

Every other time, it was the brunette who dares to make small-talk.

And now, it is like bravery fills Claire up, to finally make the first step.

She talks to her first and is nervous about it?

Yuuki can only hide her smile, that blossoms on her lips with fast reflexes as she puts her right hand on her rosy mouth, covering half of her face.

She breathes.

In and out.

In and out.

Uncovers everything to see the blonde now looking away from her table, as if embarrassed.

No, she can’t let that happen.

The friendship only now really started!

,,Hnh. Let’s ace that exam.’’, the blonde turns to her again, stunned.

Until a smile, so addictive, grows.

Simply make it all the more perfect.

,, We will ace it.’’

Before they go out of the place, their teacher stops Zero, holding him by his shoulders.

,,You all can go home. I just need to talk to Zero for a moment’’, Zero seems frozen again, a creature of ice and cold.

Training and Weapon Teaching is always the last lesson before they all can go back home.

Yuuki bits her lip, looking to her teacher, then to her best friend, her brother in crime and home.

,, I will wait by the gates?’’, it is February, her birthday only days away.

Zero nods to her, then closing the door, shutting her out.

It isn’t meant for her, this conversation.

So she respects it, returning to the other two teenagers.

,, What do you think they are talking about?’’, Jean puts his finger on his chin while walking, thinking about it.

,, Maybe he is the worst in the class and Maîtresse is talking shit about him’’, he giggles, it sounding rich and breathy.

Alive.

Claire only shrugs, showing how much she doesn’t care.

,, Hopefully, it is nothing bad.’’, their Japanese got better over the year, yet still, the accent overbears it all.

It is adorable.

Yuuki steps faster, up to the two so they are all next to each other.

,, Well, I only hope it isn’t too bad or I might not hear the end at home.’’, although Yuuki always confronts him and embraces him in his dark times.

Then she knows it, when the screams get too loud sometimes.

She knows how it is, to be trapped inside the eating, crashing monsters.

To be in one room with them -

The brown-haired shakes her head, releasing herself from the memories.

,, Everything already, Yuuki-san?’’, she simply nods to the blonde girl, hoping she doesn’t notice the lie.

A small smile usually does the trick, so she puts it on, like actors do put make-up on their faces, to cover blemishes and mistakes.

,, Just deep in thoughts. Sorry’ ‘’,

,, You usually are! I sometimes ask Zero if you are like this in-home when we train together and he says it depends? Also, what I always wanted to ask! How is Kuruso Kaien? Is he as cool as the textbooks say he is?’’,

Yuuki feels her mouth going dry, realising a small chuckle to cover the confusion inside of her.

,, In…textbooks?’’,

,, Well, he is in some books I read at home! He is over…what was it, Claire?’’,

,, 300 years old.’’

,, 300 years old! That’s amazing! One of the oldest hunters, my dad bets he is actually a self- loathsome vampire or something, like that other one’’.

The brown-haired boy snaps his fingers, hoping the motion might help him remember.

,, Ah yeah! The oldest hunter, the records have been almost 500… though they never found his body…’’,

Oh?

It intrigues Yuuki, how much they all know, how many things other cultures deem more important, so they record it in their books.

,, From where was the hunter?’’,

,, Ah…. Europe, I think? Though he travelled quite a lot’’,

,, Huh’’, her answer comes in a small voice, almost non-heard.

Maybe she could ask her teacher more about history, about the hunters.

She barely remembers the details Kuruso taught her, over the years.

Should have written along back then.

,, - Oh? Yo, Zero-san.’’, Yuuki turns, seeing Jean greet Zero who seems - weird.

Alive, but not.

His eyes lost the light it has, five minutes ago.

Lavender meets auburn, and Yuuki swallowed her doubts away, ready to shoot questions at him at home.

,, Let’s go home then?’’, Zero just nods, not answering verbally.

Walking like it’s been programmed into him, a robot for people.

At home, the two kids are greeted by their foster- figure, throwing his arms and hands in the air, as if the return of them, in this house, this warming home, is everything he needs to be filled with laughter and the will to live for thousands of years.

Well, he is over 300 already, so maybe -

Yuuki smiles, waving at him.

,, We are back home.’’,

,, My soon-to-be- fourteen- daughter! Yuuki-chan! What do you want to do on your birthday?’’, it would be Sunday then.

Her smiles hurts her lips, so she looks down on the ground, trying to keep it up.

,, I don’t know - I will think about it okay?’’, the elder man nods, a thumbs up getting up her direction.

,, Of course! You have all the time in the world! So shall eat?’’,

,, Hn. We will just refresh ourselves.’’,

Kuruso waved his right hand as he turned around, as if to say that they can go and might return later.

Zero, still has not said a word, walks next to her until he almost flees to his own room.

Still, in silence.

They return to the kitchen, for dinner.

All of them eating quietly, with some questions about high school from Kuruso.

,, Before you go -’’, her foster-father says after they all have finished, a serious tone making him sound older, wiser.

More dangerous.

,, I want to inform you, that the Academy will start in April. The first semester is on its way when you are in your last year with the hunters’’, Yuuki hears the break of his bones before it goes to his heart.

Turning to Zero, she sees him bending the metallic spoon.

She does not want to know what turmoil is storming in him.

,, Okay.’’, the boy says, standing up.

,, I am going out, may come back later.’’, the door is closing silently, not as loudly as Yuuki believes he actually wants it to be.

He is holding back.

In this state, Zero would’ve shattered the door with everything he has, just to make something suffer as much as he has in his life.

Kuruso sighs, putting his glasses off to massage the area.

,, So he decides to explode somewhere else’’,

,, He knew you will open it in a few months….’’, Kuruso turns to her, nodding.

,, Doesn’t stop him from being mad about it.’’, Yuuki knows.

,, Should I talk to him?’’, for a few minutes he doesn’t answer.

,, No’’, he says.

,, Let us leave him alone for now. He needs it.’’

But, Yuuki has a problem.

She can’t leave him alone.

When she hears the door open, hears the _thump_ as it closes again, Zero unbuttoning his boots and jacket, the small girl jumps from her bed, gitty with adrenaline and energy.

Spreading her hands, her fingers wide and then making a fist, over and over as she stands before her own door.

She just has to open it, but in her mind, her own bedroom door turns into hard cold stone, and when she touches it, she might freeze herself over.

Become as cold as the stone, icy, frost all over until she breaks into millions of pieces on the floor, waiting for someone to collect her shredding parts.

But she is ready, to walk over the line, for her best friend.

Zero just walks into his own room, Yuuki observes his footsteps, his body slumping on his bed, his soft blanket.

Kuruso loves to throw money away, for the both of them.

Even if both of them do not want it.

Yuuki stretches her fingers one last time before she grabs the doorknob, twisting it, and going out to talk.

And she feels so alive.

More alive than for a long while, with her blood rushing in her veins like she is on the run.

She steps out, looking around the dark floor.

It is almost 10 pm now, admittedly; it is time for Yuuki to sleep.

But everything in her, just wants to comfort the boy, so often she did years before.

Standing right in front of the door of his room, she knocks, three times.

,, Zero-kun? Are you there?’’, no one answers.

Even she knows, he isn’t sleeping.

Sometimes, she believes he isn’t able to, for whatever reason he isn’t telling her.

Maybe he too is afraid to sleep and then awake, with monsters in his bed.

,, _Zerooooooo-kun_ , let me in!’’, she mimics a whisper.

Yuuki hears him grunt and curse before he stands up, going to the door.

But he isn’t opening it just yet.

,, What do you want? Can’t you go to sleep like the rest of us, normal, civil human beings?’’, the last part, he says mockingly.

As if he just told her the best possible joke.

But neither is laughing.

,, I am just…. Really worried about you.’’, she puts her hand on the white-coloured door, spreading her fingers, wanting to touch his heart with it, holding it with everything she can, warm it.

But Zero, unlike her who dares to jump over the cold, stays in it, embraces it.

Becomes it.

,, Leave me for now, okay? Don’t mix yourself into things that are not meant for you.’’, Yuuki doesn’t like it.

Being confused and so distant from him.

She wants to be there for him, but he simply slaps her hand away.

,, What…What do you mean? - ‘’,

,, That it’s none of your business, Yuuki! Don’t you understand? I want you to go away and just go to sleep!’’; he got louder by the end, probably waking the only other person in this house.

Yuuki merely cringes, closing her eyes firmly as she gets her hand away from the door.

,, What can’t you talk to me?’’

,, Didn’t you hear me or don’t you want to listen?’’, she parts her lips to say something, anything against his words, but in the end, she cannot bring herself to defend herself.

( _No_.)

_No_.

She cannot let this be their relationship, this bundle of angst and shouting.

She just wants to help him and give him a reason to believe her - that she just wants to be there for him.

And by the end, Zero still denies her offer.

She will meet his own demons, not letting him suffer alone.

,, You know - Yes. I go into things, _knowing_ fully knowing that I shouldn’t. That when you say no, I should listen and go.’’, her voice gets more firm, more demanding.

It wants to be heard and not be put aside and it comes from somewhere deep inside of her, making it sound deeper, lower, rougher by the edges, gravelly.

She wondered if he cared what he is doing to her or if he can’t care less about it.

,, But I just want to help you! I promised you we will go through this together and I _goddamn_ mean it! Why do you so desperately want to suffer alone? It won’t go away if you ignore it, Zero-kun, it will stay with you until you talk about it.’’,

_Please, just talk to me._

Can he hear the despair she is in, simply because she wants to help him?

She doesn’t know.

She knows he is breathing faster now, in and out, in and out, in and out, like he is the one who is talking and by the end, as if he just sacrificed his own lungs for someone else, so he can’t get enough air to breathe anymore.

Slowly she is melting him again, getting him out of the cold, cold winter night.

,, Just…. I want to sleep it over, okay? We can talk tomorrow.’’, Yuuki clenches her first and lets it all go.

She nods, forgetting that he cannot see her.

,, Okay. Please sleep well and… sorry that it escalated like this.’’,

Zero simply grunts, saying nothing until she is in her own room again, ready to go to sleep.

,, Good night’’, she can hear him whisper.

he says it, so thick with despair.

She meets her own demons again, sweating as she wakes up, trying to flutter the sleep away from her eyes.

Blinking a few times until her right hand goes up to her throat.

Her fingers surround the whole thing, and she wonders in the moment if she can choke herself or if her will to live, her own survival instinct will kick in and save her before she could go on.

She knows who will win by the end.

She isn’t in her dreams.

Yuuki lets it go, standing up to get herself ready.

It is Thursday.

Only a few days before her birthday and then, she is fourteen.

Only a few days until she is together with him again.

Kuruso, is different today, less loud and more calm as he makes the breakfast for the children.

As if he knows they both need it.

Then he heard all the screams, and words that were shared between them.

By the time she is ready and full with today’s breakfast, that was rice and fish, Zero is already waiting for her at the entrance door.

He looks like she would expect him to appear after last night.

The purple underneath his eyes got deeper, outshining the pastel colour of his lavender coloured eyes - It isn’t a look that suits him, Yuuki thinks.

Too much exhaustion, does not suit his face.

She feels bad, even if she knows, even if she firmly knows that she is only seeing the tip of the iceberg of his current problems.

,, Let’s go then?’’, he nods once before he turns to the door, opening it.

☾

It is okay.

This silence that they keep breathing in.

It is theirs and both of them know they can break it if they want to, they only need to be brave enough to do it.

And this time, it is Zero who gets his turn to be courageous.

,, I am not allowed to go to the practical exam.’’,

Yuuki doesn’t know what he is talking about, the thought of the exam completely lost on her until she remembers.

She almost trips, her legs so wobbly from his revelation.

,,What?’’, her eyes are wide open as she turns to look at him, not knowing what to do with the information at hand.

What?

It is what he wanted the most!

What he needed the most!

,, I … they are reasons I can’t tell you yet. But - Yeah. You will have an extra in the group because of that.’’, Yuuki can’t - does not want to believe what she is hearing.

Her skin feels like it is on fire, the tiny hair frizzing with energy, going up.

,, Why - Okay. Okay? Thanks for telling me.’’, she will respect that. He isn’t telling her why he can’t and she will respect that, that much she needs to do for him.

He nods at her, not saying anything again before, at last, his eyes find hers.

Without even saying anything, they exchange something between them.

No words are needed sometimes, only the softness of the eyes when you look at someone with love and compassion.

That is what she has thought anyhow - or maybe she is too soft on him.

Always forgiving and forgetting, because he is her best friend.

She will never lose him, so much he means to her.

,, Thank you, you know’’; it was a whisper, only a breathy sound in the wind.

It almost stole it away from hearing it.

,, For what?’’, she asks him, just to hear it.

,, For being there for me’’,

Both eyes hold each other tightly, until both smile at each other, hers a tick bigger, showing teeth, while his is almost not even visible.

,, I told you. Always, Zero.’’

_Always_.

(It was right before the end of the day, her Sensei writing each improvement and what all of them still need to be better at.

Zero left with Claire and Jean and only Yuuki and Plantier were in the room.

The silver-haired probably already guessed why Yuuki stayed behind; to talk to with Sensei.

Could already see how it will end - but he did not stop her from her task.

Only said that he will wait by the gate.

Yuuki should work on herself, she knew it.

She goes into someones’s business like it is her own.

She shouldn’t.

But she couldn’t, if it it is for Zero, she might as well try.

,, Sensei…?’’, she started, with a small tone, high and nervous.

Said person stopped writing, putting her dark blue coloured pen that writes in black ink aside, a _thwack_ appearing as she lets it plump on the desk.

,, Yes, Kuruso?’’, nothing nice was heard in her voice, hard stone, too cold to touch if you aren’t afraid of getting burned.

Yuuki, however lives off of jumping into the cold.

,, Why do we have the practical exam, exactly?’’,

,,Ah’’, the teacher actually had a small smile on her rosy lips.

,, To be frank, if you succeed in this exam and another theorical in your last year, you will get a license that will allow you to haunt vampires. An Omega one, that is .’’,

Ah?

,, Omega?’’

,, For you youngsters. Means you can only take small and easy missions. If you want to take harder ones, you got to take another exam to upgrade it…. But since, Kuruso only needs you to guard his little kindergarten project, you will only need the omega one. ’’. The black-haired picked her pen up again, continue to write the grades down.

,, But Zero isn’t allowed to -’’

,, He told you that?’’, _too cold to touch._

,, Yes. I was wondering why he isn’t allowed to if we need to have it, to properly watch over the humans in a year, Sensei.’’,

Utter Silence.

None of them spoke.

Only the fire from the few lamps in the room, can be heard, flickering.

Talking for them.

,, Zero is… a special case. He doesn’t need the exam.’’,

,, Is… is that all?’’,

,, That is all.’’, in her voice was the ultimatum Yuuki sometimes got when she overstepped during practice.

Whenever when she is too weak or gets too stubborn to stop training - Then, her sensei’s voice gets in the tone of someone who shouldn’t be crossed.

A voice that says it is enough, and you should stop asking.

So Yuuki simply nodded, looking down at the dark wooden ground in the classroom.

She wanted to leave the room, taking her bags with her, ready to go to the exit door.

,, Zero only told you, he can’t do the exam, right? Nothing more?’’, Yuuki stopped in her tracks, quite confused.

,, Yes…?’’, at the confirmation, the black-haired woman stared at her, with narrowed eyes, both of her hands covering her lips as she folded them to stealth herself on the desk.

,, Okay. You can go. We will see each other soon.’’,

,, Good day.’’,

,, Good day.’’, she stops out of the room, walking to the others.

Is there something else he wasn’t telling her…?

Yuuki bit her lower lip, wondering if it might someday bleed from her teeth alone.

She is biting it so often.

And slowly, way too hard. )

☾

It is her birthday.

Sunday, a day like any other, to relax from work, to be free from expectations.

Yuuki wakes up to her foster father, singing her happy birthday, with a beet red Zero next to him, mouthing the words, too overwhelmed to say anything.

Just holding the white creamed small sponge cake with ‘’ Happy Birthday’’, written in red ink in the middle.

It is lovely and wonderful, to have a loving family to celebrate you.

It is wonderful to grow and to be fourteen like all the over kids.

She didn’t look over at the window anymore.

Maybe she has grown out of it.

Or maybe she knows he will be there and the trust she sets on him, Yuuki just wants to believe it isn’t misplaced.

It shouldn’t be.

Her life begins with him.

SHe should be able to trust him.

Shouldn’t she?

A Knock on the door, grips her back to reality, the brown-haired blinks once or twice to adjust herself again.

,, Wait, a second!’’, she knows even before going to the door who it is, but she wants to decide what to wear to her outing today, still standing in the underwear as he knocks again.

To be living with a teenage boy and a man can be so annoying in such hectic days.

,, Wait, -’’, she dresses herself up in something, to be presentable, hoping she has time to change after talking to him.

,, I wanted to give you something before I go’’, is the first thing Zero says as she opens the door.

She feels dumbfounded but accepts the small dark purple box, wrapped with a small white bow.

,, Okay. Thank you.’’, he wants to go out today again, probably meeting up with Jean to train.

Since talking to their Sensei, Yuuki doesn’t mention the fact that he won’t come with them for the exam.

The discussion died after one look from him, when she meet up with him after talking to Plantier- Sensei.

And really, it is okay.

What can she do, besides respecting his wishes?

Nothing.

So she isn’t mentioning it as he nods, stepping a few steps back, looking down.

,, Ha - Happy birthday, Yuuki.’’, she grins, her smile too shining, too bright for the sullen boy.

She sometimes mocks him, since she is younger than him by a year, his birthday being in October.

,, Thank you. Have fun today and we will see each other later today?’’, a confirmation from him by his head moving forward and one last wave until he vanishes in the many floors of the house.

,, Goodbye, Zero-kun!’’, she shouts, just for good measure knowing fully well, he won’t and never will shout back.

It is just too embarrassing for him.

She never minds it though, loving to tease it all out of him.

The small, loving and playful boy who got lost in the snow.

She opens the small box, excitement barely making her keep it together.

Inside are the cello strings she buys from the particular music shop she always goes to.

Yuuki remembers, how they both went there a few years ago.

Still do, together.

She told him; she needed new ones weeks ago.

She adores it.

Stroking the box a few times, she puts it down on her desk, closing it again.

,, Okay!’’, Yuuki breathes deeply in, putting a hand that she makes into a fist high in the air.

Time to get a nice outfit for today!

☾

The sun is high up today, for a late winter day.

Yuuki looks up to the sky, to the shining orb of a star, and covers her eyes with one ungloved hand.

Her hand glowing in the midday sun, almost showing off her veins and she wonders sometimes - wonders if the beings, the beasts can see the blood flow inside her flesh from vein to vein, calculating and moving inside of her.

Another hand touches the one that covers her upper face, stroking the skin of her thumb.

She blinks.

A smile blossoms upon her mouth.

It is like, a sudden wave of love overcomes her.

She never feels it as strong as she feels it now, drowning in it.

,, Hello -’’, but before she can finish her sentence the hand grabs her, ah so soft, dragging her to somewhere Yuuki isn’t familiar with.

They stop at the corner of an alley valley, the sun still trying to reach the dark, old walls.

Her skin is pierced by teeth.

Her breath stocks as she sees the wound on her left hand.

Blood rushes onto the floor, into the mouth of the person who holds her.

Wait -

Who? -

It doesn’t feel like him.

The beat of her heart doubles, making her breathing go heavier, faster.

,, Let me - go!’’, she tries to get rid of their grip, but to no avail.

Until they let go of her by their own accord, too high on the blood rush, they must be feeling.

It wasn’t him.

But someone with brown hair and a black coat - Her naivety and excitement made her see through a tunnel.

Her want to be secure, to be away from them -

Her muscles tightened, her fingers going further down to her thigh.

( ,,Never leave without your Artemis, Kuruso. This is a Hunter and Vampire town, you never know when you will be attacked. ‘‘ )

Until she grips the rod, holding it in a tight, powerful grip, her own skin turns white and red.

The rod grows into a longer weapon, before the Vampire can get down off his blood high she strikes him.

Directly on his head, with fast and full intentional movement, to make him lose consciousness.

Yuuki doesn’t speak as they groan, holding their face with both hands.

The vampire let a gargling noise out, an inhuman sound, going higher, more shrill than any animal she has ever heard.

The eyes of hers narrow, the auburn turning darker.

Shut up.

_Shut up._

The screech slowly comes out slowly and more precise until it loses it all again as it turns into maddening laughter.

Yuuki knows she is shaking but is trying to tighten her muscles to overcome it all.

_Shutupshutpshutp_.

,, Your blood….Your blood…! Is the best I ever had! -’’, she doesn’t let him speak more than this, swinging her spear fast and mauling them in their face, focusing to getting the shin.

( ,, Although not human anymore, they still go down when getting a direct hit in the shin’’, their teacher says. )

She tries to get him as best she can in the too cramped space in the corner, with no one watching, no one seeing it.

Yuuki never felt dumber about falling for something as easy as this.

She traps him by the wall, the tip of her rod directly pointing at his throat.

,, Are you… going to … _.Kiiiiilllllll meeeeeee_ …?’’, the more they speak, the more slurred he sounded.

Still high on her blood -

Why is he still high on it? He only had a tiny drop! Normally vampires sober up after a minute and she has been hitting him for at least a few minutes!

,, Hah! _Heeeeeee_ ’’, he throws their hands up in the air, a big, oversized smile on their face, too big, as if someone cut their face to make the mouth bigger, up to the end of his cheeks.

,, Kill me, Kill me! Little lady wants to _kiiiiiiiiiiiill_ me!‘’, by the end they change.

Sounding more serious, aware of themselves again.

Ready to strike.

Yuuki makes herself ready, feeling the anticipation of their attack until -

A hand, so gentle touches the top of their head.

Their brown, dirty hair getting a soft touch by -

She knows it immediately, now that she is not blinded but aware.

Her grip on the rod softens, her two arms holding it up to their throat, losing its strength, going away from the creature.

The hand goes further down, to the wide, almost blown out black coloured eyes to their nose -

And then.

Then she sees the blood dripping from their face, from four tiny scratches.

Until the hand goes further down, and the scratches get longer, wider.

The blood, it drips down.

Into her Artemis shatters it, immediately executing the blood of the creature.

Even know, the creature who is bleeding from their face, is not saying a word after his arrival.

Only stares.

In a pure trance.

His hands land on the throat, the tip of Yuuki’s weapon centimetre away from the fingers.

He doesn’t pay any mind to it, instead he grabs the skin of the throat, squeezing it, like it is nothing more than some tube.

,, Then die’’, Kaname’s timbre is deeper than she remembers it to be.

The skin, it wrinkles and pales as he squeezes harder and finally the vampire lets one last scream out before they turn into dust.

The clothes dropping softly on the dirty ground.

Yuuki stares, slightly leaning into the body from behind.

,, This is why I am always telling Kuruso-san to follow you until I can pick you up.’’

Numbly she lets her weapon take a smaller form again, resting it on her thigh.

,, I…think I got it under control.’’,

Kaname said nothing, only turning around, walking out of the empty ally.

,, Come. Let us at least celebrate your birthday.’’,

Yuuki can’t say no to that, so she follows him.

Not questioning how fast he can kill someone.

How easy it is, to leave and be done with it, after he does the last strike.

( Later that day, she throws all the amazing food she had today up into the toilet, vomiting as she shakes from the memory.)

,, It wasn’t an E.’’; she says after a while, while eating her crepe on the bench, in the middle the forest in the Park near the town.

The people don’t pay them any mind, just walking around them.

Yuuki wants to see a deep snowed forest with Kaname for today.

She doesn’t know why, but the urge to see snow with him, always calms her.

Maybe it is all the voices who tell her so many things about the snow in her dreams.

And Kaname

She doesn’t pay the thought any mind, the crepe in her mouth is more important.

,, No. Most likely a B. Explain to me what you felt before the vampire got you.’’, Yuuki munches before swallowing, ready to explain before -

What did she feel…

A wave of love -

How can she tell him that?

She feels the heat; it blooms on her cheeks, and she tries to hide it by looking away from him, looking down.

_He and I are in a different world._

She gulps.

,,Just….Ah…Just what I feel whenever I am with you? I…How to say, I felt like it was actually you before I could actually see him. ‘‘

,, It sounds like they did something to your system, making you feel secure enough to follow….Maybe …It could a missing Aristocrat Level Vampire. Any kind of vampire can lose themselves in the madness. Even the noble ones.’’

He leans further into the bench, resting his cheek on his palms as he watching her.

,, You said, that you felt whenever you feel when you are with me?’’

,, ….Yes.’’

And he smiles, the gesture barely visible on his full lips.

Yuuki’s eyes wander from his eyes to his lips and then back up again.

,, W…Why are you looking at me like that?’’,

he closes his eyes, his smile widening a bit while he shakes his head.

As if the things she tried to hide from him, are so openly visible from him.

,, You are just too cute, Yuuki. ’’,

the heat on her face, overwhelms her.

She can’t look at him, so she just concentrates on finishing her food.

She bites slowly into it, as he merely watches.

Sometimes, she believes that watching her alone is enough to lift his mood - but it is a ridiculous thought from her.

It makes little sense, none at all -

She keeps telling herself until the heat wasn’t there anymore.

,, Does it taste good?’’, she looks up at him, nodding.

,, Mhm! Thank you for coming here with me and doing this ..I thought…’’, his smile falls.

,, What is it, Yuuki?’’,

She bites her lower lip.

_That after the accident from before, you will leave and never come back to me._

,, I… I am just….so sorry still! From….because -’’, again, she plays with her fingers, distracting herself from the crucial point she can’t bring herself to say out loud.

,, Yuuki.’’, she stops, looking up at him.

How she despises that she can’t read him like an open book.

Exactly how, he can read her.

,, I told you. I am not mad at you. It is alright.’’; he stands up, holding his hand up to her.

,, It is alright.’’, a déjà vu.

Of the night from almost ten years ago.

How he held his hand to her exactly like that, back then.

She takes it.

They walk around in the Park, watching the snow fall on the already white coated forest.

,, I am taking an exam in high school soon.’’; it bursts out of her.

She did not want to say it.

And yet, like many times before, she does whenever Kaname is with her.

,, Do you need help?’’,

,, Ah… It is practical. We will haunt a Level-E .’’, Kaname becomes quiet beside her.

,, Ah. Yes, I know.’’, and he says nothing more to that.

So he must have known that she has to kill someday.

,, I don’t know if I can make it….already falling behind in class….’’, she whispers into the forest, watching her breath take the form of clouds.

It is still February, still winter.

,, I have been always conflicted, whenever to let you go into the lion’s den, for that reason. First, I thought, maybe Kuruso-san can teach you privately, but alas….He is too soft for you. Would never let you hurt a fly, or vice versa.’’, the teenager girl likes this.

This tête-à-tête.

Likes when he shares thoughts with her, like a friend, a companion.

When he deems her worthy of that - It is like the praise of someone from above.

,, So you wanted me to gain experience?’’, he consider her smaller form.

,, If I could… I wouldn’t let you go still. I still believe that private lessons with Kuruso-san would be better for you….safer.’’

Yuuki thinks of Claire and Jean.

Of Ichimi, even though she hasn’t seen her for a year.

And Zero.

It is smarter to be better prepared.

Yuuki lets her glance wander around the white covered trees, the black of the oak sometimes glimpsing up.

Exposing the spring that is coming soon.

,, Thank you for taking that risk. It probably wasn’t easy.’’, she smiles up to him.

Snow falls on his brown hair, immediately melting away.

He doesn’t answer with words but simply shares a glance to her, his eyes feeling gentle on her skin.

The heart, it does a funny thing, making her lose her breath while she looks up at his eyes.

And then, she remembers something rather important.

,, Kaname…You will be…soon next to us.’’,

he wine coloured eyes close for a second before he nods.

He starts his senior high school year, kōtōgakkō, in a few months, in April.

,, Alright then.’’, she watches the white cloud that comes out from her mouth when she speaks until it is gone.

,, I have to go soon - Shall we go?’’; it comes so abruptly, Yuuki can do nothing more than snap her face to him again, agape.

,, O- Oh’’, he never had to go this soon before.

Never.

,, Let us go then’’,

They turn, back to the black car that was watching them from afar.

,, Yuuki?’’,

,,Hm?’’

He leans over, letting go of her hand he was holding the whole time to pat her small head that got tangled with snow.

His touch melts it all away.

,, Your hands are very warm, Yuuki.’’

,, E- Eh?’’, only now does she fully realise that during the complete walk, they were holding hands the entire time.

,, Goodbye Yuuki. We will see each other soon.’’

,,...Yeah’’, 

Kaname leaves her with more heartbeats than she can count.

But as she watches the car drive away from her as they left her off her home, she reminds her always.

It becomes a mantra in her head.

We are worlds apart; we are worlds apart.

He and I, we are worlds apart.

,, _He and I, we are worlds apart.’’_

Yuuki was playing her cello, her bow slowly going through the strings to bring a melancholic tone of that echoes in the room.

,, _He and I, we are worlds apart.’’_

She doesn’t stop playing, yet the words get louder.

And louder.

Two hands firmly place themselves on her shoulders, hurting her.

Yuuki stops playing, so abruptly a string rips apart.

The noise it makes as it rips open is ugly in her ears, but it echoes in the white room.

And the person who always is with her in her dreams, they laugh.

,, Isn’t it as I say so often? He doesn’t want you. He never will. How can he?’’,

  
Yuuki barely feels it when she turns around to finally face the one who haunts her dreams.

,, _You both are worlds apart.’’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, I tried to think about the hunter system as a whole and kinda had...military imagery on my mind? So it is semi based on that.
> 
> On a serious note, I will continue the story since I have many things planned, but it would be nice if you'd tell me how you like it and review / leave a comment about it !!!  
> if you like it or when you have any critique I would love any kind of review, it keeps me motivated and honestly can make my day <3 <3  
> <3
> 
>   
> If you have ANY kind of questions to me about the stories or the changes I make for the fix-it fic, hit me up on my tumblr or twt!! 
> 
> Which are the following:  
> [tumblr](https://frostybitingbyss.tumblr.com)  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/luzdela_luna_)


	5. I breath blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like my women feral and spicing everything up with mythology yes  
>  **HAPPY VALENTEETH**

Yuuki always had a vague interest in mythology.

Particularly in the wisdom of the older world.

Her own country had the mythos of the Gods of the sun and moon -

Tsukuyomi and Amaterasu.

Amaterasu, being the most important goddess of the Shinto Religion, was born from her father after he cleansed his left eye and thus the sun goddess was born.

The daughter of the creator deities, Izanagi, the father and Izanami, the mother.

She represents order and purity.

She is the Queen of the _Kami_ and rules over them all, even down to the underworld.

Tsukuyomi, was born the same way Amaterasu did - but from the right eye.

Making him the brother of Amaterasu.

He is the God of Beauty, of Order, often called ‘’The Moon-Reading’’, making it a popular practice in the noble course of the older, much older world.

They were siblings, but still they cannot let go of each other, soon ruling together of the sky as the sun and moon.

They became lovers, always reaching for each other , the days and the nights always, always were a blur, then they cannot be alone from one another.

And soon after, they married.

King and Queen of the sky and the world, both were similar, a wonderful, perfect match - Gods of order, beautiful and serene .

But Tsukuyomi, was harsher than his wife - his ideal for order, for etiquette goes beyond - Then he would even kill for it.

And when he killed Amaterasu’s beloved friend, she banned him from her midday sky, taking her sunlight with her and leaving her beloved alone, because of the betrayal.

Amaterasu deemed her own husband as an evil spirit, banning him from her sky, thus he only ruled during the night while she dominated the day in the sun.

Day and Night no longer blurred.

It became two separate things.

And for all eternity, Tsukuyomi will continue to pursue Amaterasu across the night sky without ever reaching her; even during an eclipse, the sun will run from the moon.

When Yuuki read the story to herself, she couldn’t fathom it.

She read it again and again, feeling sad and broken by the end.

What would she do, she wonders if her own beloved would betray her like this?

Would she ever forgive them and dare them to step into her sun again?

Yuuki sometimes sees them both together in the sky - during dusk or dawn - and believes firmly believes, that the gods never told the people the end of the tale.

☾

The white room laughed.

Laughed and laughed and laughed.

,, Are you going mad? Are you going mad? ’’, she did not turn around, watching her cello turn to dust in her hands.

Like a vampire who is killed by her loved one’s hand.

,, Are you going mad? Purity is a _sinsinsin_ and you are reeking of it!’’, the person who haunts her every night gets louder, the more she ignored them.

Yuuki, ever since the dreams started, used this method.

She ignored it until she could wake up and not dare to sleep at all.

She knows it isn’t healthy for her - And both Zero and Kuruso speak to her about it, try to make her talk about it - But she is mute.

She can’t talk about this.

Yuuki can’t watch them all realise how damaged she is.

The words the figure behind her spoke, the brunette could speak along.

Knows it by heart, by memory, every time she dreams it repeats and grows stronger.

Her very own innocence is a sin.

Too much to bare.

And everything is _r e d_ until she swims and chokes on it, her own throat full of the red liquid as she drowns in her own dreams.

Their hands touch her shoulders, the fabric of Yuuki’s white nightgown forbidding the other one to touch her skin.

Yet still, the touch itself was soft.

Motherly.

Like they care about Yuuki.

_Ignore them._

Yuuki gnashed her teeth, staring ahead, her hands turning into fists.

Ignore.

Ignore.

,, Did you know? Hey, do you listen to me, did you know? The world eventually will be coated in red, and what will happen to poor old Yuuki then? Shall I tell you? Shall I?’’, Yuuki did not answer, staring ahead to the white, white walls ahead of her.

The room was caging her in, giving her less and less room to get some air - her lungs felt too tight inside her tiny ribcage.

Her heart wants to jump out of its cage and finally _breath_.

They kneel, the young girl heard the _thud_ of their knees when they hit the floor.

The black-and-white floor.

She did not answer.

But her body, as always, did.

The skin glittering with sweat, covering her in a shimmer.

She never felt so dehydrated in her life - her mouth so dry, not a gallon of water could make her feel right.

She was so _thirsty_.

The figure dropped her head next to hers, her lips only millimetres away from her ears, tickling her sensitive senses with their breath.

Their long, long light brown hair was mixing up with Yuuki’s, mixing until one could not say who is who.

_They are one._

,, You will go mad, the purity will rot away like the earth does, it is all fated to be. You aren’t meant to be here; _you took my place_. You _die_.’’,their nails scratch her skin, so strong was their grip, blood leaked off her shoulders, turning her white cloth red.

She wants to wake up from this.

Yuuki can’t do this - How long can she continue to do this?

The air came in faster and faster, making Yuuki pant -

_Die, die, die._

She is meant to die.

Her memory, the way her life started -

With her, alone in the lone winter storm and a vampire ready to eat her.

Meant to die.

Her breath stocked, and she held her abdomen, pressing her head to her lap.

In and out.

In and out.

No matter how hard she tried, she can’t stop breathing heavier, faster.

It overwhelms her entire system, her body shaking, her eyes forming tears.

She cannot stop from dripping down on her lap.

The figure behind her, still held her by her shoulders.

Their hands go where they always go during the night.

Her throat.

Softly grasping the milk white skin, caressing it.

,, How often I told you to let him bite you, so you can disappear, how often I whisper to you that only this is the way to show _love_ and you listened to me… You want to die too, don’t you? Don’t you want to leave and sleep?’’, they lips kissed her now shoulder-long hair, as if pitying her.

Loving her when she finally accepts her death.

,, Beg him again, maybe this time he’ll -’’,

They were the reason? Why she wanted to - So badly to end her life?

But she only started! She only started this life of hers, to full blossom into the person she can be.

To protect herself, to learn more about other people - The are reasons she cannot stop with her training is because deep down, her mind always replays the night she almost died as a child.

And she cannot stop thinking, sometimes - what if, what if, Kaname wouldn’t be there for her? What if, what if she would be there alone with the Vampire? What would have happened?

A part of her _knows_.

It begs for her to prepare for if it, then if it ever happens again, what might happen if she is alone with a Monster?

What if she cannot defend herself?

_Die, die, die._

The fingers on her shoulder shrink to a child - being so small, so frail and cold.

,,Then the Vampire……the scary, scary Vampire…He would …eat me - ‘’

,, Shut - up!’’, Yuuki smacked theirs body away from hers.

The figure hit the marble floor, grasping for air as they look up, surprised.

Yuuki turned around to them, scared then they sound like - They sounded like a child, _like, like -_

They weren’t a child - It was just an illusion, their body as old and strong as Yuuki’s.

Their long, brown hair looked chaotic - it was immensely long, maybe going up to their knees.

But what surprised Yuuki quite a little that this figure -No, she looked like….Her?

The white dress hid her figure well, even though it looked like it was lazily put on.

Yuuki, the real Yuuki, had her school uniform on, now.

The clothes changed.

Black and White.

She stood up from her chair, it disappearing and turning into dust immediately.

Her counterpart still simply stared, their mouth agape.

Then, she let her head fall, letting a melodic laughter out.

,, You still want to fight? You still want to be in this world? You have nothing! You don’t even remember who you are! You don’t remember because they took it from you and you still want to fight?’’; they lay there still, looking up to her, but Yuuki knew - That this person, the person who looked so much like her - She had the upper power.

Then there is truth in her words.

She knows nothing about her and it scares her so much; it hurts to think about it.

And yet, she filled the emptiness with people in her new life - With Kaien Kuruso who loves her, who sees her as her daughter and Zero, _Zero._

The one who can understand her and the one she can feel understand.

And Kaname -

Kaname.

She loves him, she can admit that to herself.

She knows ever since the last time she saw him.

Her heart feels alive instead of beating like a tool whenever she thinks about him.

Yuuki can admit it in this room - In her own dream, she can dream of loving the boy she cannot have.

She can think about kissing him, knowing it is just a fantasy.

Because it is - the figure who made her want to slit her own wrist and offer it to him, the person who is laying right before her, laughing, they know it too.

They are from two different worlds.

_Two different worlds._

It will never be real.

He is always so nice to her, so gentle, and he gives her freedom to be herself.

Even when he is the most grotesque, most beautiful monster of them all - he would smile at her like she holds the secrets to the world.

Yuuki shakes her head, her lips shaking.

It will never work.

Then there is a line between them, a line that she cannot cross until she -

Sometimes, dying seemed like bliss.

She never told it to anyone.

Because she will fight this feeling for death inside of her, win over it.

Then Yuuki will conquer it all and become tough and give all the love back to everyone - She will overcome the fear and become strong.

She chooses to live, even if everything inside of her wants to die.

,, How dare you….’’, with slow, precise steps, Yuuki walked over, feeling like the seven devils themselves took over and gave her the power to destroy.

,, Do not talk about me, like you know me!’’, she felt the scream in her throat, scratching something.

Her voice cracked.

,, But I do. I know you more than you know yourself.’’, their long hair seemed like a crown on the marble floor.

,, You want to die.’’

Stop.

,, You want to know about yourself.’’

Shut up.

,, You fear being alone. You fear Kaname .You want to know why he saved you.You want to know, why he cherishes you. ’’

Stop it.

,, You want him to bite you. You want to _kill_.’’

Just Stop.

,, You do not want to lose Zero who too, wants to die.’’

Shut up!

,,You want to help everyone and love so dearly. Yuuki, you want to be the sun, don’t you? Do not worry, Sunshine, even the biggest star can be cruel and kill. You are, after all -’’,

,, Shut up! Shut up Shut up Shut up!’’,

They laugh at her outrage.

As if saying that this is, the biggest joke in the world.

Yuuki dropped herself on her counterpart, straddling her hips.

Her eyes filling up with mirth and the intent to destroy, to see the person underneath her to submit, to crumble and fall apart.

,, I don’t want to hear your voice ever again. Do not call to me, ever again!’’

She hissed, tangling her fingers into their brown curls.

,, Never come to me again. Leave me alone! Leave me and never come back!’’,

_Slam_.

,, Stop -’’

She slammed their head into the stone hard floor again, her auburn eyes getting darker and darker.

,, haunting me!’’,

And she slammed it again.

Again

And again.

They only reacted by staring up at her, their eyes wide, the same colour as her own.

Yuuki’s eyes narrowed, and she fisted her hands into her curls, hitting them even harder against the floor.

_Crack_.

She felt the something wet her fingers inside those curls.

The blood tickled into the ground, tainting the clean surface.

Yuuki felt so tired.

So tired of being haunted of something she did not even know, nor why it haunted her in the first place.

With the beginning of her memory, there was always the stormy winter night.

There was Kaname protecting her.

And then, there were nightmares, shouting for her to get drunk on _red_.

They were still staring up at her.

Yuuki felt the glare on every inch on her body, as if the figure isn’t watching her alone, but the walls itself grew eyes, watching her, in disgust and wonder.

She felt exposed.

Naked.

Then, laughter appeared on the face of the bleeding out person.

They laughed, laying, dying on the floor.

The laugh came out fast, their breathing coming in short - Snorting up to Yuuki.

,, You… _Hah_! You think, you can live without me? Get rid of me? I am you!’’,

Yuuki is so, so tired.

The brunette let go of the figure sitting on them, watching them die.

All the want for them to die, everything she wanted to do to them - it worn her out.

Yuuki couldn’t act it up anymore.

The auburn seemed foggy, and her shoulder slump together - too tired, too much.

The earth itself underneath them both, sucked the figure underneath her in, melting the person and the ground into one, and Yuuki watched it playing out.

,, You want to get me …to disappear….Hah! It is fair, dear Yuuki’’, they said their name, like an owner would talk to her dog.

Like Yuuki was a sweet, tamed animal.

Yuuki did not answer.

She already said enough, in this room.

There is nothing left to be said.

But at the same time, there is too much.

The floor holds too many secrets it doesn’t want to split open just yet.

The white walls, too, start to be coloured in red, the liquid, dripping slowly down.

,, I wanted for you to die as well…..And now you want me to bleed out? Fine, live. Strive! Rejoice! Try to survive, _you human scum’’,_

They sigh, looking at the human girl with more pity than Yuuki can ever remember been looked at by anyone.

Yuuki blinks at the expression, her lips in a thin line.

And then, their hands shoot up, grabbing Yuuki’s black uniform jacket to hold on to, grabbing it with strength yet also lazy grace.

Ah.

Half of their body is already sucked down into the ground.

They are halfway through the disappearing.

They are almost gone.

Yuuki stared down at them.

Her eyes not showing any light.

,, But remember this, when it is time. The red and the blue eyes will always follow you. And when you need me most, you will let your neck to be kissed and then you will remember. That the innocence you embrace, the purity you want to have? You never had to begin with. Rejoice, Yuuki. Rejoice as long as you have the chance’’, and then, the body disappeared.

Became one with the ground.

Yuuki gulped, staring at the point where the figure was seconds ago.

Looked up to the now blood red walls.

And woke up.

☾

She wakes up to gentle hands caressing her hair, with slow strokes.

Even if she seems like hell with cold sweat, all over hear body and a racing heart, the icy hand on her head, patting her calms her down, a bit.

The nausea slowly disappears.

,, For how long do you have those dreams?’’, Yuuki looks up, surprised to see Kaname next to her bed, and she almost sits up but holds herself back from coming up.

,, Why... Are you here, Kaname? -’’, he smiles down at her.

,, You were screaming in your dreams. Kuruso-san called me.’’, her breath flutters in her lungs. Each time she takes one an inhale of air, it makes her feel more lightheaded.

,, And you came? Just like that?’’, he tilts his head.

His darker brown hair, it is getting longer.

She urges to touch it.

,, How can I not? He told me you often have such violent dreams but for the first time….Your screamed. And didn’t stop…. Didn’t even wake up. I had to come’’, she might cry, so touched is her tiny beating heart.

Of course, he comes to them, whenever they are urgent problems and he always rushes to their home - and every time, the place inside her heart grows for him.

His hand still is stroking her hair, making her feel sleepy yet aware of his body near her bed.

_Different worlds_ \- She tried to whisper it to herself again and again, but how can she stop her heart from loving this man, who always comes to her and embraces her, even in her darkest times?

,, What time…. time is it?’’, now she understands it - The aftereffects of her screaming, her throat it feels so dry and scratchy as if talking alone reopens wounds, she does not have.

Her throat feels so dry, so thirsty, it hurts her to talk.

,, Almost 9 in the Morning. Kuruso-san called your school - they excuse you for today, don’t worry.’’, she breathes out again.

,, You didn’t answer me, Yuuki. Since when do you have those dreams?’’, his question, of course, to unknown ears, is innocent and whispered so gently.

And normally, she would answer instantly, trying to satisfy his curiosity.

But after the accident - after this dream -

She gulps.

,, I…. Ever since I can remember.’’, his eyes search for more answers in her auburn ones.

The wine-colour.

She wants to drown in them.

Yuuki closes her eyes, not sure what he might see if he looks any longer than needed.

,, They were never this bad, weren’t they? Can I know what they are about?’’,

She opens her mouth.

Seconds pass by.

And closes it back again.

The brunette shakes her head.

And Kaname smiles down at her, gently picking one of her curls, kissing the brown hair of hers.

,, Ka...Kaname?’’, the sudden awakeness crushes her. Yuuki gasps looking up to him with but the want to hide her face in her hands is strong - She can’t look him in the eye.

She feels nothing but the red on her cheeks, her lines sometimes shifting to his lips on her curls.

She only had shoulder-long hair, so his face was mere centre metres away from hers.

Yuuki shifts her eyes away again.

She completely forgets her dreams and nightmares.

,, When … When did you…eh…ehm come here?’’,

,, Only five minutes ago. It quite confused my housemates why I suddenly went off, but it is okay.’’, he lets go of her hair, his hand falling back to his lap.

,, Ah, the blonde one who is with you all the time?’’, Kaname smiles, one of his rare, gentle, joyful ones.

,, Yes. He will start the school year with me.’’, Yuuki nods.

,, He seemed nice, Kaname’’

,, That he is.’’, silence overcomes them both again.

Yuuki finally sits up on her bed, feeling weird in her sweated night clothes.

,, Zero is…’’

,, …in school. Kuruso-san is downstairs if you want to talk to him more.’’, another nod, yet the girl doesn’t want to move just yet. Looking out of the window, to see the sun rising.

It is early March now.

,, You are calming down now?’’; she turns to the vampire.

Nods once again - Words aren’t coming easily to her at the moment, slipping away from her.

,, Someday….Someday, can I tell you about my dreams? When I am ready, Kaname?’’, she doesn’t look at him when she asks, does not want to see the look on his face.

,, Of course’’, he whispers and Yuuki’s heart opens, divides into two parts.

She soon cannot fit the love she has for this man inside of it - The heart would sooner burst.

The speech of the creature in her head comes back to her, haunting her.

The brunette bites her lip, looking down to her small hands.

Two different worlds - and yet he leaves his own to be with her.

Always did so and also does now.

,, Kaname….When you come here. When you study here. Can I….’’, she can’t put it into words.

If he can leave his world to be with her, then can’t she do the same?

,, … It would be too dangerous. ‘’,

,, Ah’’, he understands her plea and yet denies it.

Like he denies her blood - or did he? She is never sure, not anymore.

And she does not want to know anymore, she tries to tell herself - Tries to stun the embarrassment.

But becoming a vampire….

( _You want him to bite you, don’t you? ._ SHUTUP)

,, ..Okay.’,

,, ..Yuuki. I do not value you any less. But with other vampires around, it will be dangerous for you. ‘

,, Will it? In a matter of weeks, I will have my exam for the hunter’s license. I will defend myself. I can already defend myself.’’

,, And yet, you are afraid of them’’.

The small girl stops, turning her face away from the Pureblood.

She cannot deny his statement - the fact.

,, … That is why I am doing it in the first place. To go against my fear.’’,

The brown-haired teenager says nothing, letting his cheek rest on his hand as he still watched the girl.

,, I told you before - I wanted Kuruso-san to teach you, as it is safer for you. If you want to, you can stop it all now and Kuruso will take your lessons for the guardian job over and you could also go to a normal school. You can just say it and I would discuss it with him - Even now if you want to.’’,

Yuuki doesn’t dare to blink - _to hope._

She wouldn’t need to feel like the child soldier, the Hunter Association is raising.

Would not need to look at her classmates and see the pride to be called a Hunter of Monsters even though, they are all just children.

She can stop everything now, she would stop and would not need to kill Vampires to get a license that she would probably not need in the future, but then again - then again! -

The people in her class count on her, Claire and Jean and her own Sensei have taught her so much already and the most and foremost important thing -

She can face her own fears and be stronger, she will not need to fear the monsters.

,, …Thank you, Kaname. Thank you, but - If I stop now, I won’t be able to be a guardian. Without the licence it is not allowed to get into any kind of business with Vampires. It would be illegal and my Foster-Father would get in trouble with the Vampire Association….Besides, I have come so far. How can I stop?’’, she looks up to him, pleading with her eyes for him to understand.

She needs to prove herself. To show herself that she can do this.

,, … Alright. You have one year left anyhow. If you have any troubles, don’t fret and come to me, yes? I will help you, no matter what’’.

His fingers touched her head again, petting her gently.

She smiles, leaning into his touch.

,, Thank you.’’

Two worlds apart.

Two worlds apart.

_Two worlds apart._

The mantra doesn’t help, and yet it is necessary for her to remind herself.

They are so different, a human girl and the King of Vampires without a crown, and yet, _and yet,_ she cannot stop her feelings from growing.

What can she even do about it?

She is a child still and cannot control her heart.

Hours later, Kaname left again, embracing her to his heart for several seconds before stepping to his black, raven black car and driver.

It was the last time she had the bad dream.

Yuuki doesn’t know if it is her own doing or the doing of Kaname or even both.

Later that day, the brunette took the scissors again, cutting her hair short down to her neck.

☾

Zero isn’t questioning her hair choices anymore, merely looks up from his breakfast the next morning, stares for less than a minute and goes back to devouring his food.

☾

It is only a week before the practice exam, and today is the last lesson on spells.

Their teacher, whom Yuuki nor her other two students quite know about, tells them about several spells hunters can use and should always be prepared to use.

There is one for caging Vampires to a hunter which Yuuki finds peculiar but does not comment about.

And many protections and locking spells.

Even healing spells.

The book has many sections about several kinds of spells the hunters can use, using rune like initials.

Many Hunters use these when they are on a mission to not get normal human beings in danger, they close of an area to fight the Vampire in peace.

The brunette looks done to her notebooks.

Protection

To close an area, so that Vampire can’t leave nor can go inside -

Exceptions is when the Caster allows the Vampires to do so.

Locking

To lock a vampire into place before killing them, makes them stop moving.

Caging

Needing the Blood of a Vampire to cage them to the Hunter they are supposed to be together with.

A ‘’Master / Servant’’ Relationship

That are the only ones that they are learning this year.

Yuuki wanted to ask how the hunters even can use those spells since.

It sounds quite otherworldly in the first place, but the Teacher ignores her remark, waving his hand to move on in the lesson they are having.

That is right.

Yuuki sighs to herself.

Only a week until the exam.

She is sure, she can do it - Her own Sensei will be there with her along with Claire and Jean with whom she trained the whole month like crazy, yet still there is a nagging feeling that something will be amiss.

Something will go wrong.

,, I want you all - ‘’, the Teacher starts, taking all the attention back to him.

,, To practise the spells to perfection. Next week you will need them. This is no joking manner. If you cannot do it, it will bring you all down, and even worse, lock the dirty bloodsuckers to this town with your scent or even worse - One of you might die.’’,

,, Eh - Quite optimistic, this one.’’, Yuuki looks to her right, to Jean, and nods her head.

,, Nothing new really, but then again he looks like he has not slept in weeks’’,

,, Zero-kun! He might hear you!’’,

,, And I did.’’, the three look up to the teacher who just twitches his lips, his eyes locking on Zero more than on anyone else.

,, Just learn the spells and try to survive’’,

Yuuki is pretty sure he hears him say; ,, I am too old for this’’ before he sits down on his desk again.

☾

Yuuki watches new cars come and go the morning before her practical exam.

They have a day off before the final vital day.

The window gets stained by the powder like snow falling down.

The cars get even more attention this way, while it is snowing down.

,, What do you think? Human or Vampire?’’, she points at a darker car driving away from their parking lot.

Zero grunts, shrugging by her side.

,, Seemed very Dracula to me with that dark coat and orange hair. Vampire’’,

,, Orange hair is Dracula-esque….?What… - Wait, you read Dracula?’’

,, You forget to take it back from the living room once and I got bored.’’, Yuuki grimaces - So he has a vague interest in old world fiction as well…

Yuuki smiles and rests her arms on the window’s edge to put her chin on them, watching the snow fall.

,, Well, lucky you, Zero-kun! I heard them talking about some shady vampire stuff, Ten points to Hunter-kun!’’.

She gives him a tiny smile which he stares at, his lips in a grimace.

,, What are even talking about, you weirdo…..’’, her smile drops as she hides her face in her hands in shame, hearing more cars coming in.

,, I am nervous about…..tomorrow.’’, this makes the boy silent, not saying a thing.

,, You have your precious Sensei with you along with your classmates…..And the extra. I could come along to watch from outs-’’

,, Really? Really _really_?’’, her head shots up to his, only millimetres away from him.

,, Personal space, you idiot! And yes, I already asked. I will be there so don’t worry’’,

,, Great, you will watch me…. If I fail, and won’t become a guardian next year, I will actually cry tomorrow.’’, says the brunette as another car parks besides their home.

The blonde guy comes out and - the blonde guy? Yuuki blinks.

Isn’t this?…..

,, Why? Why do you want to be a guardian so badly? You could always just go, you’ know. Kuruso-san told me you’re adopted and when I asked he didn’t really tell me if you have Hunter’s blood in you but….’’, Yuuki turns to him, tilting her head to the right.

Hunter’s blood? Is it really that special, to be a Hunter?

And she heard them all say, that she only got accepted because of her Surname…because of her Foster-father.

,, Maybe… If you had Hunter's Parents, maybe it is in your blood and you want to get that licence subconsciously?’’, the white-haired boy sighs, ruffling through his own hair.

,, Who knows? If you want to do this, do it. But please don’t tell me you want to do this to be near that Pureblood or I swear to god - ‘’.

Her cheeks heat up.

,, I - ? Why can’t I - No, wait, that isn’t what I mean, I mean to say; I am doing this for myself! Besides, I also only want to protect the people! I know what it’s like to be targeted by a Vampire! Zero-kun, you are so weird today.’’

,, Same as you! Maybe I am just…I don’t know .. Also worried about tomorrow.’’, she stares up at him, her eyes getting wider.

Mere seconds pass before she cheekily smiles.

,, Oh? The bad, bad Hunter-kun has a _heart_?’’,

,, Shut up, will you?’’

,, Never!’’

_Ichimi-san told me to tease you more, after all._

Yuuki notices a motion from outside, getting her attention back to the blond - who…. It must be…!

It is the Vampire who is always with Kaname when he visits her!

Said Vampire blinks, feeling her stare at him and looks up.

His whole behaviour goes from barely there to, _eternal sunshine._

His green eyes lighten up, minutes before it was a mere forest green and now, the sun caresses his face, making him look define.

Yuuki once called a vampire an angel, from before - but this one.

This one cannot be a creature of the night.

,, I’ll be right back, Zero-kun!’’, she goes away from the window, running up towards the door that leads to the office of the headmaster.

Because…Because!

If he is here, then somewhere behind him, maybe, somewhere next to him or still in the car, maybe he is here too….!

She opens the door before the blond can.

He stares at her, blinking several times before bringing out the most endearing laughter Yuuki has heard in a while.

And she is friends with Jean, a personification of happiness.

,, Yuuki-chan! It is Yuuki-chan, right?’’, Yuuki blinks, looking up at him.

Blinks a few times more.

,, Ah…you know my name?’’

,, Of course! Kaname always talks about you when he can. Can I come in? The sun is a bit strong today…’’

_When he can._

How many things he implies.

Yuuki feels the smiles on her lips slowly rising, a brief and smile one.

,, Ah…Yes. That’s me.. and sure!…’’, she presses her muscles to the wood of the door as she opens it for him to enter, so that her shaking might not be visible.

A vampire…..As beautiful as him….And yet.

She still feels this energy only blood drinkers have.

The energy of Monsters.

,, Is…Is uhm, Kaname with you?’’,

The blond blinks yet again, surprised written on his face.

,, ‘Kaname’ huh…Well, no! He wanted to come tomorrow or later than that. He has something to do, sadly….That poor guy even leaves me hanging here. But! Don’t worry! When he has time, he always comes here. It’s adorable really’’, Yuuki’s heart skips, tightening in her chest.

,, O...Okay.’’, she tries to not show how much it affects her, but automatically fails.

Yuuki looks down to her fluffy socks that keep her warm.

She misses him.

So much it actually _hurts._

She has seen him weeks ago when he calmed her down and closed the door to her nightmares alongside her, but now - To be away from him, it hurts.

,, Ah… Yuuki-chan, could you bring me to the headmaster? I will need to do the paperwork today and then leave everything else to Kaname’’.

The blond laughs as the girl simply nods.

,, This way’’, she points her right index finger to the side of the office, slowly moving to the direction as well.

,, Ah! Forgot to tell you, I am Takuma Ichijou. I am sure by the look on your face, Kaname never told you my name….. I am going to get him for that.’’,

Huh?

Yuuki blinks again, but nods.

,, Ichijou-san?’’

,, Ah…too formal. Call me Takuma-chan -’’

,, I- Ichijou-chan?!’’, he completely loses it, his laughter echoing on the walls, tears coming off his eyes, and he wipes him away at the look on her face.

,, Okay, that was a joke, a joke! Just call me Takuma-san.’’,

,, Takuma-san…’’, the blond Vampire nods, smiling down at the girl.

Maybe, he noticed her sudden nervous demeanour around him, or only wants to feel safe, she doesn’t know.

For the first time, she does not feel fear around another Vampire who isn’t Kaname.

She actually feels quite safe around him.

Yuuki glances up at him, smiling an actual rare smile at him.

,, Let’s go then, Ichijou-san.’’

,, Let us go!’’, this time, she actually laughs with him.

☾

The Mission is simple; Kill the one Vampire and you basically have the lowest Hunter license in your pocket, when you also get your theoretical exam in your last year.

So the Hunter Association gets the Hunters in training a Mission to haunt down, one Vampire together - Since the license they’ll get only allows team or Partner Missions, anyway.

And the guardian job, is a partner job.

Yuuki breath deeply in and out, looking around the forest.

The area they find themselves in is a deep forest, a few kilometres away from their hometown

And in the forest's core, lays an abandoned Church.

Yuuki doesn’t quite know what to say when she sees the Building.

It looks like it was holy once - inventing and welcoming like a new found home for people, to pray for god.

But now it looks rotten, all faith lost.

The Sun was shining down at the group, but the Building looked wet.

The sun could not dry off the water from the wood.

The Wood barely kept the building up, looked like it could break any moment.

,, Okay, listen up.’’, their Sensei starts and everyone in the group turns to her.

The black hair of hers was shining in the midday sun.

,, Oh, this outta be good - ‘’, Yuuki turns to Ichimi Tsūretsu, who lazily leans on the silver car, her weapon, a polearm placed on her shoulders.

It was a long one - longer than Yuuki’s rod, with a black metal spike by the end and beginning on the weapon.

The girl came up, upon Plantier-Sensei request, as the one who should replace Zero, since he could not enter the building, couldn’t even take the exam.

Yuuki still wonders why, but never asks.

Their Teacher gives each one of them small marbles, red and blue, with initials engraved in them - the Red ones where Locking Spells and other marbles Protection Spells.

,, I already closed off the building, weeks ago when we got the Mission. The Vampire is lurking there - Most likely dying from thirst. I will lead the Mission and Zero - ‘’ the boy looked up, blinking up to the woman.

Although he cannot enter the building, he still could watch out for them, his Bloody Rose loosely in his hands, ready to attack if the Vampire escapes.

,, You stay here and watch everything.’’, the disappointment in his eyes is visible but all he can do is nod and wait for further instructions.

,, I am the leader of this mission for today, so you will follow me. If something goes amiss, throw the blue on to the ground and if you can, lock that sucker up with the red marble.’’,

Everyone nods.

Yuuki looks up to Jean, Claire and Ichimi and her Sensei and sighs -

Challenging all her strength.

They step into the Church.

And Yuuki falls right through the ground, the wooden floor cracking up, a hole building up, her entire body getting swallowed by it.

,, Yuuki!’’

,, Yuuki-san!’’

She hears them all call for her but to no avail -

She falls, deeper into the haunted building.

It is cold down here, bone-chilling, and she struggles to think of anything warm.

She wonders if it is the cold that makes her shiver or the fear of not knowing where exactly she is anymore - alone, so utterly alone.

,, Gosh, that hurts - ‘’, she blindly moves her hands to touch something, the other checking if her weapon is on her.

She grips her rod that is still on her thigh and sighs.

Opening the eyes hurts, the dizziness going straight to her stomach, and standing up is even worse.

,, Yuuki - God, are you alright? Hey, is everything okay?’’, she tries to blink the dizziness away, trying to sort the voice and picture in front of her eyes to remember - who the person even is, who is calling out for her.

,, …Z-..Zero-kun? What are you doing here….?’’, her head pinched, a pounding beating ’ on the right side of her head.

She closes her eyes again, her hand shooting up to her head.

,, I couldn’t just sit outside and when I heard you crash down under this hellhole - I just run through and jumped down here -’’

_To help you._

Her heart blossomed with love and adoration for the teenager in front of her.

,, Thank you… Did the others tell you anything?’’,

,, They were going ahead, searching for the target. I should help you up, bring you to them and then g-’’, a rumble behind them.

A cackle, high but in a small tone overshadows his summary, making them both freeze.

An out of tune sound echoes through the room, the Organ of the church, it is being played.

It was no song, however, just someone slamming their fingers on the keys, not caring if it sounds bad or good.

Yuuki’s head pain worsens, the pounding gripping her attention.

Both of her hands shot up to her head, holding it.

,, Yuuki…Yuuki?’’, Zero whispers in front of her, but she can’t pay much attention to it.

Closing her eyes actually calms her a bit - That way, she could control her own darkness instead of it controlling her.

Another pair of hands falls upon her head, holding hers.

Zero takes her right hand and puts something inside it - A pill.

,, What is…?’’

,, Just take it.’’, and she does, without asking further.

And her head really hurts less.

Huh.

She mouths a thanks to him and the horrible sound of the Organ stops.

Their time is running, and that fast.

Yuuki’s hand immediately jumps to her thigh, to the strap holding her Artemis.

She tries to find his eyes, holding eye contact with Zero, his lavender eyes stone cold and determinate.

And then, all hell breaks loose.

The Level-E jumps from its hiding spot, crashing through the old Orgal, the sound of screeching, making the floor shake from the vibration.

They are reaching for Yuuki first, it’s sharp nails trying to grasp her tiny figure but before anything could happen, Zero punches the creature into its face, hitting the eyes.

The Vampire’s eyes water, and it howls, trying to cover the face.

,, Throw it!’’, Yuuki does - Automatically, without really thinking about it.

The red marble with the locking spell lands against the Level’ E’s chest, and it forms a circle around them, several rods shining through in red glimmering colour, which all go through its chest.

,, It…is locked’’, Yuuki nods at Zero’s statement and sighs in relief.

She did not have to kill.

_She did not have to kill._

She is not a murderer.

And that, although, not important to anyone in this group, in this class and culture of Vampire hunters, is what is most important to her.

She values the fact, that she isn’t down alongside the very creature she fears.

She isn’t a Killer, yet.

Even if she wants to defend herself, how far can she go before the defence becomes cruel and immoral?

,, We did it! Zero-kun we did it! We should go up and - ‘’,

A scream echoes through the building.

It was Claire.

Huh?

,, Let’s go, fast’’,

Yuuki nods, following the boy out of the basement.

Zero eventually found a staircase, running up and searching for the other group.

,, They are up the floor; I think’’, Yuuki does not wait for the white-haired answer, but runs towards the stairs, searching for Claire, wanting to know what the situation is.

Claire is alone, her butterfly knifes laying centre metres away from her as a different Level - E tries to dig his hand even deeper into her skin, her chest, her black clothes wet from liquid oozing from the wound.

It doesn’t even look bloody, but like someone spilled water on the blonde girl.

Only that it isn’t water - It is Claire’s own blood, coming out faster than before.

Yuuki feels the nausea coming up, her stomach barely holding everything down in front of the scenery.

,, Yuuki - Stop before you do anything - ‘’, she barely hears Zero.

But all she wants is for it to _stop_.

,, You! _Stop attacking her! Immediately!’’,_ she says the words without thinking, but the impact on them, goes noticed by everyone in the room.

The Vampire stops, freezes up as if turned to stone.

The hand he had inside the blonde’s Chest, he drags out; the blood dripping down on Claire’s black clothes.

And then, the Vampire slowly, with unsure steps as if not sure what he is doing, turns around to Yuuki and just - waits.

For something.

And Yuuki couldn’t do anything but stare, holding her rod, to her chest.

But he does not attack - he does nothing but wait.

A knife is pierced through his chest from behind - Yuuki looks to the right, seeing Claire move, one of her butterfly swords in her right hand.

The Level E doesn’t even scream when he turns to dust, only stares at Yuuki, opens his mouth to say something - _Something_ \- but before they could utter a word, he shatters into thousands pieces.

Nobody moves.

Confusion and shock growing.

,, - Claire! Claire wait, I am going to help you -’’,

Jean and Plantier-Sensei come from an unfamiliar room and Jeans face - Yuuki cannot describe it.

So much pain and despair - It overwhelms her, makes her take several steps back, until she bumps into Zero, who too is just watching, his normally so cold and monotone eyes, wide and clear.

He is shaking.

Biting his lips until it bleeds.

And Claire, after getting the last strike on the Level E, falls back down to the ground.

Jean rapidly moves, kneeling right next to her side, Sensei coming right up with bandage and spells for recovery.

Jean is holding her shoulder so she can’t move, telling her to keep holding still and that it would be alright, with a watery smile.

Yuuki didn’t even notice she was shaking alongside Claire - Even if her life was not on the line.

The brunette turns away, looking to the side to keep her tears at bay.

If Zero notices, he doesn’t say a thing.

The white-haired boy, steps away from all of them.

Says nothing when he leaves the room.

Plantier- Sensei takes something out - A long nail, that looks as sharp as a knife comes out of Claire’s chest and Yuuki winces alongside Jean in sympathy.

Jean inhales sharply.

Claire begins to cry.

She rarely shows so many emotions.

But what can one do, when you are at the brick of death?

Only then, you show your true colours to the world.

,, Jean…Jean…. _Je ne veux pas mourir’’,_ Yuuki can’t understand the language they are speaking, but watches in trance.

,, Vous n’allez pas…Vous n’allez pas! On doit toujours battre ta famille en enfer ensemble…. tellement…. rester éveillé….. rester éveillé…!’’,

Claire nods, Yuuki could see.

A Cross was hanging right above them on the wall.

  
Yuuki stares at it, and wonders.

What Gods have left this earth? What Gods are still above them all, looking down on them, like flies?

Does God ever cry when they lose a child?

A tear slide down Yuuki’s cheek.

She continues to listen to them talk, wonders whatever they were talking about.- Yuuki prays they will succeeded.

,, Where is Ichimi?’’

,, There was a miscalculation. It isn’t just one Vampire here in this Church but four. Ichimi got rid of the one, Jean and I were finishing the third.’’

,, Ah’’, Yuuki sits down at the car next to Jean, who couldn’t speak a word.

The older woman of the group did most of the talking while stitching the blonde 14-year-old up.

,, She will be okay. She needs to rest for a week.’’, nobody says anything.

They are all just glad;

it is over.

☾

By the end of the day, all three of them got through.

Claire made it out alive and is resting alone in one of the hospital room in the Hunter Accosiation Headquarters.

And Yuuki, passes the exam.

She will be a guardian and thus a protector of the human beings in the Academy for the next year alongside Zero, when she passes the other exam in their last year.

She did it, but the praise, it felt empty.

(

,, So, little dear fellow hunter of mine. I read the report and the mission, and really, I don’t want to sweat it; I have some questions.’’,

They were in the training room.

Yuuki was by Claire, along with Jean, since she woke up a few days ago.

Barely leaving the sight of the blonde girl.

,, Care to explain to me, what Kuruso did back there?’’, Ichimi looked at the teen next to her as she packed her weapon back to her black suitcase.

,, What do you mean?’’

,, Do not play dumb with me, you dumbo. You must have seen how the Vampire reacted to her? You were there while I was fighting. That isn’t normal. A Hunter can feel Vampires sure, a hunter can have longer years than humans, _sure_ , is stronger, faster, you goddamn name it - _but we cannot control them_. ‘’,

Zero bit into his lip, thinking.

That, what his friend is telling him is true - it makes absolutely no sense.

,, Maybe she is from an unknown foreign hunter Clan? You know there are some out there with abilities, we cannot even comprehend to explain’’,

The short-haired 15-year-old watched the boy with uncertainty written on her face.

,, You don’t even believe what you are blabbering yourself. Yagari- _Shishou_ , will probably flick your forehead for that alone’’,

,, Don’t bring him into this, Gosh, it is like you are some kind of fangirl of him -’’

,, No. I am his adopted daughter.’’, his chest tightened

Adopted.

He adopted Ichimi after her fall from grace, but leaves the country when he needed him most.

,, You are welcome by the way. I ended the E’ for you.’’

,, I would have done myself, thank you very much’’, the older girl chuckled, which halted as she stares up at his eyes.

His neck.

  
He wanted to punch something, so that the tickle on his throat might get numbed by pain.

,, How are you doing? I am actually concerned for you, jokes aside.’’

,, I am _fine’’;_ she didn’t buy that.

For that, she knew him too well.

The past few years after the accident, they barely saw each other but - She still knows him at his core.

,, Are the rumours true then? I didn’t ask _Shishou_ who read the reports but….The bite……is it true?’’, his teeth gnashed.

Zero closed his eyes, breathing slowly in and out.

He will punch something today.

,, It is.’’; he is sure to whisper it -

So that the walls don’t hear him.

Everyone in the Headquarters wanted to know - only the ones who read the report on the Kiryū Accident with Shizuka Hio know the truth.

That slowly, surely, the last surviving child of the legendary Kiryū Clan, is dying and turning into a monster.

,, Okay. Let’s beat something up.’’, Ichimi stretched her arms, rolling her shoulders.

  
,, You can even try to beat me, since this is the last day before I am off again.’’,

,, Thank you god, for letting me punch your face then before you go.’’,

,, Better than a goodbye kiss! I am only here after you send me the sweet, sweet letter. Oh Zero-chan! ‘’ _Please, can you go instead of me?_ They might say yes if Plantier-Sensei allows it, You are _sooooo_ strong, Ichimi-chan, You make me feel _safe_ ’’

,, Oh, shut up! I did not write that!’’

She laughed.

,,Sweet Zero-chan, it is what I read. I am keeping track of Kuruso though. You should too.’’

Zero did not answer, nor acknowledged her comment, going into a stance, ready to fight. )

☾

Yuuki watched the rain.

It smoothes her, nowadays.

Claire sits on her hospital bed, her hands holding a book up.

,, You really like the books about fantasy, Yuuki-san’’,

The blonde girl is doing much better after four days of rest.

Still, way too weak to move.

,, … Yeah. The world gets boring sometimes and you just want to find yourself in another’’, Claire smiles at that, clapping the book shut.

,, Do you think it’s right what are doing?’’, Yuuki’s hands on her lap twitches.

,, What do you mean?’’

,, We are just kids; I mean. And yet, we get the task to fight Monsters. Sure, the easiest licence you can get, still requires for you to work in a team or at least a Partner but - We are just kids, aren’t we?’’, Claire looks down on her white robe, to the wound on her chest.

It barely missed the vital parts.

She was in luck that Sensei has so much knowledge about spells.

,, … I’ve been thinking about that too. Do… Do people who are born in this world need to be trained for this?’’, the other girl laughs silently, leaning her head against the bed cupboard.

,,….. People fear them, you know.’’, Yuuki nods, biting her upper lip.

,, Scared of the wars we already had with them. Scared it happens _again._ Therefore, they train us so early. So that we are all always ready.’’, both girls know this.

The wars that destroyed the worlds so often - The first one over 10,000 years ago and the one over 2,000 years ago.

Both caused by Vampires and Hunters alike.

,, My mother always told me, People like us, with Hunter’s blood, are special. Not like other children. _Ceux qui protègent les faibles .Personnes de sang pâle…_ Which is why we should be proud of what we are doing. ‘’

The dialog Yuuki had with Ichimi long ago came her to mind.

Claire’s Family was different - they are doing something different from most families.

Yuuki doesn’t dare to ask.

,, But now you think are just children playing something we should not?’’,

Claire hums, looking to the Window, to the rain.

,, Yes. It is all we are’’

Both sit in silence.

They are children, who grew up to fast.

Claire’s finger taps on the book that is still laying on her lap.

,, You are leaving soon, aren’t you?’’, Claire looks to the brunette for the first time since she stepped into her room.

Her eyes take a gentle form.

,, … Yes’’,

They are only exchange student for the license - It happens all the time, many Hunters do it, too large up their knowledge and horizon.

,, … But, since our Organisations work together, we might come back eventually….Besides, my family they…they also have a different line of work that connects us to everyone in the world. So I will come back with Jean for sure.’’, she tries to smile but Yuuki can see that it does not reach her eyes.

,, Okay.’’,

,, … We are friends, right, Yuuki-san?’’, said girl almost gasps.

,, Of course! We are always friends, nothing will change that!’’, Claire smiles, but it seems off - her lips shaking.

,, Thank you, dear friend.’’,

☾

Few days later, Yuuki’s holiday start.

The holidays before a new school year begins.

It is March and soon to be April.

Just one year and Yuuki too, will start in the Kuruso Academy.

It is raining quite a lot ever since the class passed the exam.

Yuuki loves the rain, loves watching it, then it feels like it frees her.

Her thoughts her, everything - Just getting washed away like the rain.

Her thoughts about the Level-E inside the Church and the gazes the people in the Hunter’s Headquarters give her, about the people in her live, everything -

Falling away, like the rain.

Her eyes dart to the dorms that she could see in front of her window.

The windows are all light up by the Moon dorms.

Naturally; it is night and thus the Vampire are awake.

Kaname - Kaname is there.

She feels it.

Knows it.

But she could not go there.

Only watch him from afar.

No matter how hard she tries to reach him, she knows deep inside of her that this is all it can ever be.

She is human - and he is… A vampire with an invisible crown.

Yuuki moves without thinking, going outside to the gardens of her home, to the lake that divides the Day and Night dorms nicely.

She sits down on the bench she can find near the lake, letting the rain hit her skin.

Simply watching the enormous Villa.

Resting her cheek on her arms, forgetting the time.

Her clothes, her school uniform she soon has to give away, are getting wet, dirty.

Stained from her want to see the one she will never have.

Suddenly, the rain drops stop.

Yuuki’s blinks.

Looks up.

A black umbrella is covering her body from the rain.

And beside her, young girl is standing there, holding the umbrella, her white long dress making her black long fuzzy hair get more attention.

What startles Yuuki more are the deep red eyes.

A _vampire._

Her heart races, lungs expand and exhale -

,, You shouldn’t be out here, you’ll get ill….Kuruso Yuuki-san, I am assuming?’’,

Yuuki looks up to the girl.

Her long hair was braided, but so loosely the braid isn’t even visible -

It looks like a badly made knot that got all wired up after a long, good sleep.

,, I am just wandering around. Yes... I am Yuuki.’’,

The vampire smiles.

,, And I am Mitsuki. Good to know each other, yes? I should think, since it is still the holidays, you should go and sleep. Soon our semester starts too.’’

Yuuki stands up and the black umbrella goes back to its holder, shielding Mitsuki from the foul weather and letting Yuuki with no protecting from the rain.

,, Sorry…. To bother…?’’,

The other girl sighs, barely even looking at Yuuki anymore.

Huh?

,, Kaname-sama told us, not to engage with you or the Kuruso Family altogether. Same with the Day Class. So hush, hush, little Kuruso.’’.

The black-haired makes a small waving motion with her left free hand, indicating for the girl to go away.

,, Kaname….Sa…ma?’’, it feels weird on her tongue.

Uncalled for.

_But he is royalty, and I am just a human girl._

,, Yes, yes - You must know him? Kaname Kuran-sama? He isn’t here if you are wondering, but will move in in a few days. We are all just adjusting early.’’,

Yuuki nods, not knowing what to say.

He isn’t here? Even though she felt him, she knows she did when her body brought her outside to sit and watch him, hoping to get a glimpse.

How long was she sitting here, not noticing he wasn’t here at all?

Kaname…. _-sama_.

Maybe she should - Yuuki doesn’t know if she should start to call him that too.

Maybe she should ask again, like she did back then, when she was small.

When things were simple.

When she did not understand and just loved to learn and be happy to be held by him.

,, Okay. I am…going’’,

And she flees back to her room again.

Not daring to go out - Feeling caged in her own home, by creatures she and her foster father let in in the first place.

Zero can’t sleep that night.

Yuuki hears him stirring on his bed, spinning around and cursing yet again - She really doesn’t see the appeal in cursing, but doesn’t comment on that.

She doesn’t knock on his door anymore.

They have somehow moved past that, long ago.

She just goes in, closing the door behind her.

,, What do you want now - ? Can’t you just let me rest, I am trying to sleep.’’

,, And who are you kidding now?…..’’,

,, Huh?’’, Yuuki isn’t even phased at his reactions - Be it aggression or irritation.

Then she knows, deep down, Zero is just trying to be nice.

She sighs, watching him coil himself into the white silky blanket.

,, Do you have many nightmares?’’,

What a deja vu.

,, Not your business…’’,

Yuuki doesn’t answer to his pettiness, simply smiles and goes up to his bed, sitting next to him.

,, Should I help you fall asleep, Zero-kun?’’,

It is silent for a while until -

He grunts, along with a small shrug.

,, Do what you want. Won’t be much of a difference, anyway.’’

So she touches his head.

Stroking his white, beautiful hair, like a companion would do.

He stills, his eyes wide open until this too, gets smaller, sleep taking over.

,, I told you, didn’t I Zero-kun? I could help…it helped me too a few times in my life, so.. ‘’,

She thought she might help him as well.

She smiles, continuing to stroke his head, his silver curls-

,, don….Have to… ‘’, Yuuki tilts her head, her gentle hands not stopping from petting his hair.

,, Hn?’’

,, You don’t have to be so formal with me…Zero is fine…’’, Yuuki blinks.

,, Zero…..’’, she smiles down at him.

He acts so sweet when he opens up.

Her teeth might ache.

,, Okay, Zero’’,

By the end, she too became tired, while calming the boy down.

Falling asleep next in his bed, coiling up to him.

The next morning, Zero hit her with his pillow, his face redder than she can remember it being.

She merely laughs.

_Interlude._

_Sweet dreams, I dearly wish._

_☾_

Kaname watches the window, bringing the teacup to his lips.

He should be grateful that laws helped Yuuki to improve and become stronger and yet - When he last saw her he could see, how much it affected her soul.

The wound on her head, the headaches she still sometimes gets because of it.

( ,, Yuuki?’’, the girl was getting ready to go out with her friend during the holiday they had before they would head back to the training for another year in early April.

He was visiting Kuruso-san to look through more papers and documents they had to sign for the Night and Day Class to work -He was used to it, the work.

Even if it makes him feel tired.

Before he went, however, he spent some long minutes with her.

To see colours again, to find the strength.

,, Hn? What is it..Kaname?’’, she was packing her bag now, ready to go out, and something inside his chest felt like it was getting pierced through several knifes.

He tried to ignore the feeling that he vaguely acknowledged as jealous, reminding himself that he just wanted for his girl to be in the light, to strive and be happy - where she truly belongs to be.

He walked up to her, touching her head to erase the pain from her.

,, You still don’t want me to heal the scar on your arm?’’, the memory of the occurrence; he still did not know what to think. It stunned him with a thirst for blood and more - How cruel, his Yuuki can be.

,, Ah…No. But thank you for asking!’’

,, Kaname- _kuuuun_ , I am ready with the documents!’’, the former Vampire hunter strode into the living room, smiling as he waved the papers in his right hand.

,, …Alright. Have fun, Yuuki.’’.

She smiles up to him, her cheeks reddening as she took his hand away from her head.

,, Thank you. You too?’’, the distance, she created - It urged him, to the destroy the walls she is trying to build.

But alas, he will not.

Let’s her be in the light, while he can protect her from the shadows.)

He cannot help but blame his own self, his own mistakes for the injury she had endured.

He should’ve not allowed the transfer to the Hunters - but now it is too late, and Yuuki is already too attached to its people.

The last time, they spoke on her birthday, _her actual one_ , when he had the time to come to her, she often talked about her Teacher and new Classmates, her friends.

But no matter, next time, he will not put her into danger, protect her more fiercely.

,, Kaname-kun? Everything alright?’’, the teenager looks up from his tea and stares at the documents.

Everything was set.

Everything will go smoothly and perfectly -

He set the chess pieces and they will dance by his hands.

He will make sure of it.

,, Yes, Kuruso-san I will become the Queen bee, like I promised.’’,

And bring everything in motion.

_End of Prologue_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ rolls around in a chair ]  
> Hi and welcome to myth and lore Class.
> 
> _Amaterasu & Tsukiyomi;_
> 
> An embodiment of the rising sun and Japan itself( The word / Name Japan/Nippon 日本, translates into The Land of the rising sun., she is the queen of the Kami/ Gods and ruler of the universe. Not mistaken with the creator deities Izanagi and Izanami; Izanagi named his oldest daughter the Ruler himself, I believe.  
> She has quite a few myths about her ( Idk if it will inspire the story but they DO look interesting) but the one mentioned in the chapter, is The Marriage to her Brother Tsukuyomi .  
> Now, there isn't MUCH to say about Tsukuyomi , merely because he is barely mentioned in the myths - But this one is one of the most important in Shinto.  
> What I wrote in the chapter is already a good summery, so I keep it short - Tsukuyomi and Amaterasu were married, for a while ( it is even speculated that they had children together). One day, The Goddess of Food, Uke Mochi, invented Amaterasu to a feast - She couldn't come so instead Tsukuyomi was there to represent her; And he witnessed how exactly the Food Goddess created Food ; by spitting it out. As a God of Beauty and Order, he found the methods disgusting to say the least, and so he killed the Goddess. When Amaterasu heard about it, she banned him from her sky - creating Day and Night. It is to believed that Tsukuyomi is still chasing his wife to this day.  
> The Part about them meeting during dusk and dawn is purely fiction and never stated in the actual myth, it is Yuuki's wish thinking. Although a bit grown, she is still a bit naive and innocent. ( My baby) 
> 
> _Vampire Hunters;_  
>  Now last time I said I am inspired by military when it comes to the Hunters and I am not taking it back but adding the fact that I am now seeing a lot of Bloodborne ( The game) inspiration in it... The spell and rune part, I will explain more and more in the story, don't worry!
> 
> _Worldbuilding_
> 
> The world of Vampire Knight itself is a mystery to me; When Juuri tells Yuuki a story in an extra chapter that happened a long, long time ago ( Before Juuri and Haruka were married, so proximately, 2000 years go) she was in a MODERN Japanese high school. In Yuuki's timeline it looks like they are in the 20's century, however? So I am assuming, and I read that they were....two wars between Hunters and Vampires? One with the last Kuran King, at best 3000 to 2000 years ago and the one original War 10,000 years go. I am just using this post- world war image now, since it is really interesting, and it could be expanded more, also gives me a LOT of freedom in the worldbuilding.
> 
> _Yuuki's Character and Trauma:_  
>  I think I need to pinpoint it just to be sure; the figure in the nightmare was her vampire side. I already believe that Juuri's attempt to seal or rather, let her Vampire side, ''sleep'' was only half complete since Yuuki in canon hears the voice of her quite a lot and it actually scares her? In this story however, it is only half- asleep and it WANTS to wake up; making Yuuki to want to be bitten etc. Yuuki suppresses it, for now.  
> Yuuki's character is in it's core very tragic; She loses her parents, and almost gets killed by someone at the age of 5; This can haunt a child! In this she really resembles Zero a lot; Both losing their Family at a tender age. Just the way they cope is VERY different. Zero turns to violence and killing the cause of his Trauma, Yuuki however....is still trying to be gentle even if the world took a lot from her.  
> To really stay in Character, Yuuki wouldn't want to let this beat her down, she would want to fight it and live.  
> To love, which she will do; And yes, she developed a Crush on Kaname which again is pretty much in Character since she crushed on him since Ch / EP 1. Aaaaaaand she also believes that it can never be anything. Oh Yuuki, baby, what I have in store for you...
> 
> **SO YEAH!** That was the whole Prologue!!! The next part of the Series is called, '' Arcanum '' the Latin word for Secret, Mystery. It will be much longer than the Prologue hah and I think? The first chapter will be out this Week.
> 
>   
> when you still have any kind of questions hit me up!  
> Please drop me a review and let me know what you think!  
> Which are the following:  
> [tumblr](https://frostybitingbyss.tumblr.com)  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/luzdela_luna_)


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